Advice about girl at work

[ed290]

Hey,

There's a girl at work who started about 2 months ago. After a little while I began to notice she was dropping hints that she liked me.

I had recently been going through a bit of a rough time in my life for which I had to see a counsellor for so I had agreed with myself that I wasn't allowed to date any girls. So I just ignored her hints. I don't think I was rude to her, but she seemed to get annoyed with me and gave me the cold shoulder. At the time I just thought fair enough, if she wants to be immature, that's her problem.

Anyway things seem better now. We don't get much of a chance to talk at work because she works as a waitress and I work behind the bar. I am in a better place and ok to date girls. I'd like to ask her out but it is a little hard to tell if she still likes me. I get the impression she does, but I get the feeling she has distanced herself a bit. We worked together last night and I only got to talk to her a couple of times. Basically I just feel annoyed that this girl liked me, but I couldn't do anything about it so I pushed her away. Now I can date, she has the impression I don't like her. At work it is fine now, but our few conversations just feel a bit laboured and a tiny bit arkward. Is there anyway to blow past this?

What would be the best way to approach this situation? It would be very difficult to get her alone at work. If we work a shift together the waitresses always finish an hour earlier so there's no chance of making a move after work. I added her on facebook the other day, but it seems really lame asking a girl out like that.

[nem4u25]

I have always given the advice, never date someone you work with because it causes too much tension and aggravation. It already seems like you two have moved into the awkward phase so I would just tell her how you feel and why you gave her the cold shoulder in the first place and see if she responds. The truth never hurts.

[ammi00]

^^ I agree. Tell her the truth and see what happens.

[RdHrshyKss]

^^i also agree. hopefully she'll respect your honesty. if not, do what nem said and try to avoid getting involved with people at work...

[vertical_sky]

Well, first... I generally have a rule of don't get your meat where you get your bread. Just usually not a good idea.

However, if you like her enough to want to give it a shot, what I would suggest is getting her alone-maybe even saying," Hey could I talk to you for a few minutes after the shift ends?" Then explain very bluntly that you have always found her attractive, but felt that it would unfair to her to ask her out sooner, when you had personal problems that would have prevented you from having a healthy relationship. Be honest and direct. Say you'd like to take her on a date now, if she's interested. It'd be my advice to not mention her hinting or her liking you at all-it could just lead to an argument about you ignoring her, or you misreading signals, etc. Stick with just your feelings, your desires, and be honest.

If she blows you off... hey, at least you tried, and it's a lesson learned that timing IS an important part of a relationship. Stay pleasant to her at work, and find another girl to be interested in. (Preferably NOT at work.)

Good luck!