Hello!
I never post on forums but my situation has completely messed me up and I'm embarrassed about it to be honest.
Long story short, I've been chatting to this girl online for 3+ years. We live in diff countries. I'm also female if that helps with any advice. We've sent photos but never phoned or video called (It's not Catfishy, just stupid!) It's me who hasn't been that willing to do it but we were comfortable with that. We just genuinely feel/felt a connection.
Yes, I know there'll be people who are sceptical. I, myself, was too at first and wanted nothing to do with someone online, not like this.
Anyway, she kept pushing me to be something 'more' and I just wasn't interest/couldn't. But soon enough I just could not stop thinking about her and after years of going back and forth, I gave in and said let's do this. Then she decided to tell me she's aromantic and this is all new territory for her (falling in love, relationships make her uncomfortable etc), which I was obviously not happy about because I felt like I'd been messed around especially after all we'd been through and how pushy she was to be more than friends.
This whole situation is toxic and confusing and even I don't know how we could ever be classified as 'in a relationship' without having phoned, vidded etc ?????? But I ////cannot//// for the life of me get over her, move on from her, stop thinking about her etc. I think it's the fact that our friendship/whatever we were has been online, that I feel like I cannot escape it.
I'd rather be friends than nothing at all but I feel jealous when she flirts with others. So, I'm trapped.
I know how ridiculous and sad this all sounds, believe me, which is why I need any advice!
She wanted nothing to do with me as of less than a week ago (we hadn't texted for a few weeks because of an argument. She was hurt about something I said, though it felt a bit like an easy way out.), i asked if she wants us to move on and let go and she simply said 'Yes.' Again, this aggravated me because I never asked to be in this situation but here I am, unable to let go.
She said if we were to be friends again, she'd need to be the one to come to me first. Then, she sends me a voice message yesterday saying she was in a car accident, also saying she misses me and loves me. She also sent a pic of her in hospital. But it's the first time she's sent a voice message. AArghhh. She's ok and at home recovering.
I'm just so mad at myself and embarrassed that I even 'fell' for someone online! I have no idea how to let go. I've stopped social media but it hasn't seemed to help.
I've skipped a lot of what happened in between but this has been the gist of it. What I feel for her /feels/ 'real'. But I know there's a thousand things wrong with this situation and it makes me feel like a crazy person. Can you really blame me hahaha. Help???