Seems like she's losing interest.

[AlexD]

Well I started seeing this girl, everything had been going great until two days ago. We went on a little weekend vacation together and stayed at a beach together. The first day was great, but the second day I had gotten really sick and was not really able to get out of bed. She seemed like she was somewhat angry with me, but I didn't want to bring up any negativity since we were on a weekend getaway.

Here's a background story on the girl. Her and I go way wayy back. We were really good friends as teenagers and just recently reconnected. We have been hooking up and going on dates the past few weeks.

Every time she is with me she has a blast, and she is always looking forward to the next time we're together.. There are always positive vibes, we don't talk about past relationships, bad moods, any of that. Most of the time I'm joking around teasing her and she loves it. However I feel that next time we're together she might pull the old "This isn't working out" card after this past weekend.

Lately I have really been trying to not focus so much on setting a goal to build a relationship, but rather letting it happen naturally just through having a great fun time with the girl.

I would rather not go the "Talk my emotions out with her" route since we have just been casually dating/hooking up and I do not want to come off as clingy, because I'm not. I have my own life, my own goals, and my own aspirations.

I just want to maintain positive relations with her and do not want to be that guy who she has to make an excuse to not go out with for the night.

Maybe I'm just over-analyzing this situation and we both just had one bad day. But do any ladies have any advice to offer?

[lahnnabell]

Sorry, but it looks like you two ARE going to have to sit down and talk about your emotions. That is, if you want any definitive answers. You never know, her discontent could be linked to the fact that you guys don't seem to be getting more serious. You did say that things are still casual. Do you think maybe she wants to take it to the next level?

Firstly, and more importantly, what do you want? Do you want a relationship with this girl? If you guys are doing things like taking trips together, then you probably need to open up to her about how you're feeling. She's starting to invest more time into this, and might be a bit scared that she's on the path to heartbreak. You can only "let things happen" for so long before you need to actually make a decision. She won't just become your girlfriend by osmosis. You're going to need to initiate.

[AlexD]

I understand what you're saying, but the thing is we've only been seeing each other on a not just friends level for about 3 weeks now and about 2 months before, she had just left a 2 year relationship, but we both have always had a crush on one another since we were good friends. Things would just happen in our lives where we could not work out as a couple back then such as going away to college and other priorities of ours.

I would really enjoy having a relationship with this girl, but I don't want to rush into things and come off as needy or insecure. The thing is, I'm a very confident man when it comes to talking to women, dating, sex etc.. But when it comes to popping the girlfriend question it's very nerve racking because things could go either completely great, or just spiral downhill.

Even if this girl does not want to become exclusive, I still want her to be a part of my life. We've known each other for 10 years and always have a great time together. I can tell that she's really into me, but I don't want her to think she broke my heart and can never see me again over something like this.

Thank you for your input.
-Alex

[lahnnabell]

Hmm... Yeah that is a bit soon to be taking the plunge. I made my boyfriend wait a few months. He would push me lightly every now and then, but backed off when I started to freak out a little. He remained steadfast and supportive though, and that is how he won me in the end.

I would say that you should sit down and talk about it though. If you're avoiding a discussion because you're afraid of the answer... Well, it's just shooting yourself in the foot anyway. Tell her you're feeling some tension and resistance and that it's concerning you. If she wants this to go in the same direction as you, then she'll open up to you. For all you know it's something stupid that she's harboring, but be supportive. Collect yourself and remain calm throughout the conversation.

One of the best things about my boyfriend is that he is a rock. Even if I freak out over something lame he's right there, waiting patiently. Never met anybody like that before.

[AlexD]

So an update on this situation...

I went to see her after work today for a few minutes then had to leave because I had some stuff to take care of at home. When I went to give her a kiss goodbye she resisted.

She then says to me that she doesn't want us hooking up to be a habitual thing. So I just say to her.. "Well we've been friends forever and not matter what, we're going to stay friends." She agreed on this, I gave her a hug and walked away. Then she just said "I love you". I didn't say anything back and just kept walking.

So now I'm wondering if I should just go NC with her, or if I should ask her if something's on her mind. I'm not too bummed out about this, but I sort of am. A lot of the time I come off as a guy that isn't that emotional about things and I think that might be the issue with her. Maybe she just thinks all I want to do is hook up? Not so sure right now.

[ctr916]

I would let her 'get over the issue of that weekend" whenever she wants to. You could let her decide when she wants to go out with you again after that; that way you can avoid the appearance of clinginess and give her some space to find out how she feels about it and make her own decision. In my opinion, a guy can never have too many girl friends.