Is he a 'dirty old man' or am I just being jealous??

[godfreygirl143]

Hello:

I've been in an intimate relationship with a man for almost 6 years...I'm 68 & he's 81. It's been a very fun time and we've been very close. But, we've taken a bit of a break...I've been a bit bored with doing the same things all the time. We were talking on the phone last night and his daughter-in-law called through. He called me back to share the Super Bowl on the phone together when told me what Shannon said on the phone....she called to see how he was doing (he said). He said he "was kidding" with his daughter-in-law on the phone when she said she saw him at Walgreen's and what was he doing. He said to her "I was buying you a bra and panties for Valentine's Day."....and he laughed. I am not a prude in ANY way....but I don't think this is appropriate conversation for a father-in-law OR between him and ANY woman really....especially a family member. I would NEVER talk this way to my daughter's husband. I've also heard him say things to his grandson's wife that I would NEVER say to a family member....not 'dirty'....just suggestive kidding (in my opinion). I've know this man for years....since I was 14...he's my ex-husband's brother. So it's not like I've only known him for this 6 years. We were all close as a family when our kids were growing up. But we NEVER joked around like that. Am I just being jealous or 'choking on gnats' or am I on target? Just wanted some other opinions...and I haven't said anything to him about it. I laughed too...but really didn't think it was funny. This is really bugging me...I don't want to be with 'a dirty old man'. I want a man with values. But, his daughter doesn't even think anything is wrong with this talk in the family....she says it's just joking & fun. Maybe I've just always had a different view on what is not 'over the line' with family fun. So...I'd like some feedback from men here....what do you think about this?? Thanks much!!

[ashley89]

you want a man with values... but you're involved with your ex-husband's brother? that's weird. and it sounds like he was obviously kidding, so I wouldn't take it too seriously...

[Regnent]

I've had old farts drop the 'dirty old man' bomb around me a couple of times. No one wants to know your 74 year old boss has approved of Viagra for 10 years.
Honestly, I think as people get older, some become less concerned with always being proper or reserved.
I think he was having fun. How many times do you think he's been to a walgreens seen someone he knew, been asked what he was doing (shopping, duh), and gave the same old boring answer?
Just because he's 81, doesn't mean he can't be a smart ass. Appropriate? Maybe not. Just means he's got some life left in him in my books.

[godfreygirl143]

Thanks for your feedback. I appreciate that....but about the ex's brother thing. I was married for 26 years and divorced for over 20 years. His wife (my former sister-in-law) died of cancer. We would have never thought we would ever be involved romantically. But my former husband has been remarried for years and the man I'm dating is a WAY distant former family member....and not mine. But, yes, I guess it would sound strange. I think you'd have to be older ....much older....to really get the companionship thing. And, we're both college educated and retired from successful careers....so we're not, well....'hillbillies'. Is that politically correct?

[godfreygirl143]

I've had old farts drop the 'dirty old man' bomb around me a couple of times. No one wants to know your 74 year old boss has approved of Viagra for 10 years.
Honestly, I think as people get older, some become less concerned with always being proper or reserved.
I think he was having fun. How many times do you think he's been to a walgreens seen someone he knew, been asked what he was doing (shopping, duh), and gave the same old boring answer?
Just because he's 81, doesn't mean he can't be a smart ass. Appropriate? Maybe not. Just means he's got some life left in him in my books.

Thanks for your post. I guess you're right. But....I get the feeling I'm a LOT older than you and I mean this in the nicest way because I have younger grandchildren AND great grandchildren, but he's really not "an old fart".....OR...maybe he is. ....but he's MY old fart. I had a feeling I might be making way too much of this, but I'm just used to different behavior and talk in MY family. So...I will just let it go. Sometimes he says things that he has NO idea how it comes across to others. I just felt he could say that to ME....but not to other women, family or not. Maybe all of us 'girls' (yep, I still call myself a girl) want our guys to ONLY say things like that to US and not other women. Again, thanks for the reply.