doing the wrong thing for the right reason

[J_slick]

hi, lets start with some information.
I'm a 22year old male and i've been in a relation with my girlfriend for 1year 6months +-
she pretty much lives with me and everything has been great.


two of my friends (i live together with one of them) and I went to a bar some time ago,
we had a great time as always and there were these two girls, one of them started flirting with me.
It happens all the time, no problem my girlfriend and i both know we like to flirt so we do, we openly talk about that.
But they wanted to go to a club and asked if we wanted to join them, well of course we did.

the problem:
after drinking some beers over there and dancing, my ex-girlfriend walked in.
I had something with here end 2008 start of 2009
We got into a conversation it was actually a funny kind of awkward situation.
I always had the feeling that i was the last person she wanted to see, but it’s not like that at all.
and for some reason we kissed, and the seconds following looking at each other were., awkward so we grabbed our beer and continued the conversation where we left, but not much later we kissed again.
when the club closed we went outside looking for the people we were with and said we had to talk some things out and walked around the corner to have some privacy.
kissing in the rain like the first time, I told her that when we broke up i said to people that it wasn't a problem, that I’d just live my live and in 5years or so we would walk into each other and everything would go back to how it was.
and she kind of agreed to that and she knows that i have a girlfriend, and said this isn't the right time for us.
then we were interrupted by her friends and it was like, till we meet again, and i left.

my girlfriend and i promised each other that if one of us wouldn't see a future in our relation anymore he/she would tell the other.
and right now i feel like a complete a hole, not because i kissed my ex but because she is on my mind.
so i really want to see her again to figure out if i still have feelings for her or if it was just a moment thing.
and what is the “this isn't the right time for us”? because if i do have feelings for her i can't have myself running back to her a year from now i need to find out what i really want
i just don't know how.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Are you happy with your current g/f?

You have to remember that you were already hammered, and everything feels more raw and intense in that state. Don't do anything to fuel this fire unless you really are unhappy with your g/f. If you want to meet your ex and see if you still have feelings, you should break up with your g/f first. I doubt you'll take my advice.

Also, don't be such a douchebag that you can't admit what you're doing is wrong. Don't try to say "I'm doing the wrong thing for the right reasons." If you want to do it then, do it, but don't be a pussy about it, and treat us like we're idiots with your simple minded rationalization. Dipshit.

[J_slick]

i have to say thank you for the reply the first part that is,
but i wasn't drunk or anything and she wasn't either.

i don't think of anyone here as idiots, thats why i posted here.
i've been reading replies and saw some people giving really good advice, so i thought i post what is going on with me right now.

i am happy with my current girlfriend very happy
i'm just scared that if i can have feelings for my ex girlfriend i could get feelings for someone else as well.
so i need to know how strong my feelings for my girlfriend are.

[John Littlejohn]

i'm just scared that if i can have feelings for my ex girlfriend i could get feelings for someone else as well.

Of course you could. You're a human being. Loving your girlfriend doesn't magically turn off attractions or feelings for other people. It's what you do about those attractions and feelings that is important. Do you deal with them honestly, or dishonestly? So far, you have chosen the dishonest path.

[girl68]

How is this the wrong thing for the right reason? LOL.

So clearly you aren't as happy in your relationship as you think you are. If you were the flirting would be a no go for you, but since you're both so open about it, leads me to think you're not as in love as you think you are and neither is your gf.

Me thinks if you have to "think" about it it's not right in the first place.

And the kissing not once, twice or 3 times is cheating.

[TonyR]

What John said is true, most will always have some kind of attraction to other people, it's what we do or don't do about those feelings. It's not only controlling ourselves, it's knowing what we want and who we are. If you're unsure about yourself and what you want, then it doesn't matter who yo'rer with. You will probably do the same to the next girl. Too much focus is on who is right and who is wrong for me. You have to work together, you have to be equally right for each other. Why are you attracted to her anyway? Do you see a future in this relationship? knowing you had a girlfriend, she kissed you anyway. Do you think she will be any different when she is with you? And are you going to be different too? No, you both broke the rules, so what does that tell you?

If you think she will change, guess again. Have you changed? I believe you have the answer to that question, you just have to stop denying it. If your present relationship is working, then keep working on it. You made a mistake, now it's time to forgive yourself and move on. Work on what's already working, make it better by you becoming better.

Tony

[Gratedwasabi]

You cheated. Step 1 is to admit that to your girlfriend and go from there.