if i do dump him im afraid on how to do it ,im 33 ,should have more sense but ive so soft for too long.
You are an adult and that means you sometimes have to make difficult decisions. A partner should add something to your life, but NOT ADD STRESS. They should have a positive impact all around. Sounds like he is bad for you. Too bad he chose to be a jerk, and it just happens to be christmas. Give him an early present: his singlehood. Tell him you two are over and he can date other girls.
i still love him deep down
No, I don't think you love him. But you fear change and maybe you fear being alone. And maybe you have an emotional attachment, but I don't think you love him. I guess you learned that love doesn't change anything. Only action from both parties does.
but ive tried everything to make things work but my attempts seem useless.
You did everything you could. That was the right thing to do. Now it's time to free yourself from the dead weight to find someone positive who will ADD to your life.
p.s. Call me. lol. (Kidding.)
I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
(Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)