had AMAZING sex with strictly platonic friend of 10 years.... what now!?!

[secshi]

Ok, so me and this guy have been as close as family pretty much as soon as we met. We lived together for several years in college in a house with other people that are in "our group". ... This guy, is my 3 year old son's Godfather... just to give you the idea of our relationship (and im a single mom). He also had a girlfriend for 7 of those 10 years, who I became rather close to... but they separated for good in october of last year. I havent much talked to her, except for texting on special occasions and such... But he and I, despite our group growing apart with age, have remained as close as we always were....

Now, this isn't high school "oh my gosh he knows me better than i know myself!!!"... not so much. We are close, because we have been through hell and back and still hung in there with each other... but it's not the same as someone who was "my best friend" and both parties all along had suppressed intimate feelings for one another... not at all. - I say this because the only stuff I can google on this topic tends to have that background impression. Not us. We are the same as we were towards each other in high school. and thats PLATONIC. ---- here's the juicy part for all you readers--- we had AMAZING sex recently... about 6 times over 6 months. 5 being in the last 2 weeks.
Im not talking about "good" sex... im talking about the full nelson. like holy S#$&#*$ that was incredible!!! --- so anyway... It has got me thinking over the past few weeks. Were we missing out on this all along? like WOW it was nuts. BUT... i dont think i could ever bring myself to have to tell his ex, and my friend, that we are messing around, none the less the idea of taking it to another level. ... WHAT DO I DO!
The thing is, it's still really hard for me to picture him in those rose-colored glasses called "love". I mean, we hit it off in the sheets for sure, but thinking about acting any different towards him around our friends or family just seems absolutely ridiculous. I feel like I've maybe let my mind wander way farther than it should on the subject... but after all, 10 years of friendship and then screwing till the cows come home really makes a girl think... I dont have any reason to believe that he has any deeper feelings for me then the friend i've always been to him, and vice versa. .... so it doesn't seem like anything has gotten weird, or changed at all... which is a plus... but we still definitely crossed a line, and i think i might be the only one waving a red flag at the subject.
Im all for the great sex and fun.. but A) im scared as hell that our 10 year friendship is about to go down the tubes, and B) I CAN sorta see us working this out... but the situation with his ex, my son (his godson), and everything in the past has me thinking "not so much" on taking it to a level besides friends....
I know im probably babbling by now, but ive been really stressed over this thing for at least a week. Has anyone else gone through something similar and have ANY advice on this??? Im really reaching out here... i've never posted online for help before, but I CANT TELL ANY OF OUR FRIENDS EITHER! arrrgh....

[IndiReloaded]

Your intense chemistry and prior friendship is going to get one or both of you shredded. His relationship was very long, you are his rebound and that's not a good place for you to be.

Also, the timing is unclear: you weren't cheating w/him on his ex, were you? Also, where is your ex in the picture? Not an auspicious beginning, if so.

If I were you, I would back off. Turn the intensity down a notch. IMO, sex is not worth ruining a great friendship for. But, it might be worth risking for a wonderful partnership. Since you already have the chemistry of friendship it is nearly certain you could fall for each otherr. But not while he's in rebound mode, tho. You also risk damaging his relationship with your son (his godson). Back away from the penis, lady...

[Dr.Phillius]

I understand what your going through. I'd like to add my opinion on this subject matter. I feel as though it really sux that hes your sons god father and your friend's ex boyfriend. I feel as though you need to break your situation down into a simple question... Is the will for you to love this man strong enough to create a type of relationship that bypasses your feelings of embarrasment, guilt and shame? If I were in your shoes, I'd definetly mess around with him some more. ~no homo~ Id keep sexing and sexing until i felt comfortable to bring it out to the world little by little. However if the answer to the question asked above is no, then i dont think there is nothing wrong with having friends with benefits.

[secshi]

Indie:reloaded: thanks for the reply. Even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear (which at first i wasn't really sure what I wanted to hear back at all...) to answer your questions : no it was not cheating. My son's father has been gone for almost 3 years now -- and I wasn't exactly torn up over his departure. And yes the fact that he is my sons godfather does weigh heavily on me. My son already had his dad take off, so the least thing I would want to do is risk him feeling hurt again if someone else (male role model) leaves too... But I'm not really scared of that. I think the best case scenario; we carry on until we both feel the intimacy spark down the line --- a possibility. Or, at the worst case scenario, we stop having sexy time (haha) and it takes a bit for us to re-adjust back into our original roles as girl friend/ guy friend.

To disclose a bit further: we had one episode of drunk sex 6 years ago... Again, it was not ever "cheating", but after the 3 month hiatus if him and his long term, they got back together and stayed that way until october. We never told her, because after discussing it we figured it would be just causing her undo agony for something we would never consider repeating while they were together.
Also- their relationship ended technically in October, but as said by both of them, it's been dead for years... They stopped having sex completely in 2009 and never recovered. So it's definitely not like either one was heart broken. But I still do take notice to your "rebound" comment. Even it's based on the simple fact that he's been in a committed relationship for the majority of his adult life- and now he's free to do whoever and whatever he wants.
So there's the whole bit. I didn't want the original thread to sound so long winded so I tried to include only the major points. But I guess the details of details matter just as much to get the whole picture. Again thanks for your time, and anything that you want to throw my way in suggestions or advice then I'd appreciate it.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't really have much to add, Secshi. I was more concerned that, longterm, one of you might have some guilt baggage if you had started down this path inappropriately. Since that's not the case, and you seem to have your head on straight, then enjoy the amazing sex and see what the future holds. Good luck.