Love Confused

[Rythmdsire]

I dont even know where to start. I apologize before-hand because i think this might be a very long post; i deeply thank the ones who read it. First and foremost you should all know that this is concerning an "internet" relationship.

I met this girl online about 3 years ago. We were just friends or "internet buddies" so to speak, but we hardly ever spoke. She went away for a while and i only spoke to her every 5months or so, nothing serious. I've always liked her as a friend since day one. Around January of 2004 we started talking again, and that's when i began to find out what an amazing person she actually is.

Don't get me wrong, i have absolutely no trouble obtaining a partner of the opposite sex. I mean i can go down to the beach next week and find myself a partner, but you have to understand "this girl" is special and unlike none other. She has the power to change the world; my world.

So we started talking again in January, but this time we really connected. I never saw this coming; i didn't expect such a thing. We connected physically, spiritually, and intellectually. I was so affraid to get attached because afterall, she was just an "internet buddy". Soon enough, i would no longer care. I got attached, so attached. How can this happen?

She went away again in February. We exchanged addresses and began to write each other letters. I missed her so much that words alone cannot even begin to explain. I realized something when she went away, and that is the very fact that i cannot live without her.

(Note* I honestly don't know why i'm writing this post because i think i know the answer to my own question.)

She would come online from time to time. After a while, our feelings would would turn into the four letter word. The miracle that is "love". We still talk until this day and have recently decided to meet. Not only meet, but we already have plans on what restaurants we're going to eat at and everything else we are going to do.

Now you people are probably wondering when i'm going to get to my point. Here it is.

I remember when i first met this amazing girl. You know that feeling you get when you meet someone new? It's such a great high, i think better than any drug. I think what is most interesting is the very challenge of trying to attract that person. The problem is that now i "know" that we are established. I "know" that i have her and she "knows" that she has me. We love each other and express it in every way. I "think" maybe i'm losing interest in her (and i hate to say that, i can't believe i'm even saying this right now .....). I guess i thought this "high" would last forever? Now it's just normal, like if she were a neutral friend (how can i say this about her ....). Everytime i look at her picture, i don't get the same feeling anymore (....). Another problem is, i think she may be feeling the exact same thing that i am feeling. She's been acting different, showing less emotion towards me. I really hope it's nothing though. My question to you all is: Is this "neutral" feeling phase normal in love? Are we just losing interest in each other?

Do i love her?
I honestly dont know anymore. I know that i can't be without her. That i need to talk to her and that i need her company. I don't want to settle as friends i mean what is that? I want to love her, i want to be with her, i want to protect her, i want to be her shoulder to cry on. I think i do love her. I think about her so much. I want to meet her and i want this all to work out. I want to be with no ther girl.

*I'm getting her letter and reading it ....

[Zekk_T_Strife]

I tend not to respect internet relationships for this very reason. The truth of the matter is that true love cannot be found through machine alone. Love involves a very strong physical attraction that can only be ascertained through personal contact. I'm not saying emotions can't develop online. Quite the opposite, without the initial personal level saying whether or not you mesh well in an intimate situation with this person, you get to fire straight at the personality which can be remarkably compatible. Here is what you're experiencing.

You are not in love. You never were. You were something quite a bit different. You were infatuated. This is what the internet does, it allows you to infatuate yourself with this person. The problem with infatuation is, while it does give you that high, it doesn't last. It's EXTREMELY powerful so people readily assume it's love seeing as how many have never felt such an extreme emotion. I knew this was true in your case when you said "I cannot live without her." I've been in the infatuated state quite a few times so I am well versed with its features.

Is this relationship hopeless? doomed? impossible? Not at all. In fact, now would most likely be the best possible time you two could meet. Your infatuation is dying off, your becoming less reliant on her to sustain your emotion, if you were to meet you could truly focus on getting to see how well you truly interact one on one. This could catch fire and turn to love and hazzah there you go. You could find this truly was just an infatuation and best let go. That's unpredictable but I hope, in some small way, I was able to help in your dilemma.

[jslaughter]

I'm with Zekk . . .

I believe a relationship can START on the Internet but it cannot stay there forever, if you want to make it grow its going to require actual contact out in the "real" world.

[Rythmdsire]

No, listen. She is like no other.

There is nobody else that will love electronica like i do.
Noone else will write poems like she does.
There is noone that can take pictures the way she does.
She is all i know, or better said, she is all i want to know.

I swear i should have been on the first flight to her state in february. Infatuated for 7 months? C'mon man. She is in the military. Do you know how much i worry for her? Do you know how many times i wanted to cry when i turned on the news? This isn't just the innocent "hi hottie!, hi sweety!" internet relationship. We have grown within each other; we have a part of ourselves inside of each other. We have something i do not want to lose. Something that i "will not" lose because if i do it may be the biggest mistake of my life. We're going to meet as soon as possible and i can't wait. I really wish i could share more details, but i would seriously flood this thread.

[jslaughter]

I don't think either of us said it was impossible, but if you want to make it work you need MORE THAN THE INTERNET. You need to hear her voice, touch her, see her, do you see where I am going with this?

So if she's "it" you need to be closer to her or in some real time contact.

[Rythmdsire]

100% i agree with you man. I've heard her voice right before she left. She was so shy it was the cutest thing. Sorry i didn't mean to come off That defensive, but yea i totally see where you're going with this. I "do" need to see her, touch her, feel her. That's exactly what i will do. You speak the truth. I just hope it's not too late u know? Even if we do meet with "friendship" feelings, i know i can still fall for her.

Sorry my first post was about a problem.

Hi, all !

[Rythmdsire]

Hey question .... should i tell her about this? Would that help or worsen the situation?

[Rythmdsire]

I dont want to tell her anything too complicated. Just that this "high" we're feeling isn't going to last forever and we have to hurry and meet in order to make this work out because i dont want to lose her. Anyone? Would that help or worsen the situation? I think i should communicate with her ....

[jslaughter]

Communicate with her, tell her what you feel, it's the only way you will ever know if she's on the same page or can even see herself on the same page. if she can't better to nip it in the bud now.

[Zekk_T_Strife]

The direct route is always the best taken to get to where you want to go.

[Kiechi]

Argh internet relationships never work without direct contact. I would never bother with them. waste of time persoanlly.