Is she playing me?

[a123]

Well let me just start out by saying that I am getting pretty frustrated right now. I’m confused and babbled with this problem, I just don’t know what to do. My mind is going crazy!!

I’m friends with this girl who I had liked for a while now; she started working at the same store as me last winter break. When we first meet I definitely thought there was an attraction on both sides, we went out once, the date went great so I thought. I asked here out again and she gave me a lame excuse. I asked her out the third time and got shot down again. I just couldn’t believe it, I thought we had the best time on that first date but I guess she did not see it that way. So she left and I promised myself I would forget about her, and I did. Later in the spring she came back, I tried to avoid here for the first few days, still kinda embarrassed from the shut downs earlier. As luck would have it I ended up working with her in the same area were all we did was talk all day. The first few days went great; we were flirting and joking all day. She kept on sending me these mixed signals though, her inviting me to visit her at her college, and a bunch of other nonsense like being her facebook friend and other crap. I really didn’t know what to think of it. Later on I ended up inviting here to do something we were both talking about earlier. She said yes and I left it at that. When I asked here about the potential date and time she gave me another weird answer “my name sigh….” When I heard that I was somewhat disappointed because it sounded like a “no I really don’t want to”. I shrugged it off and didn’t let it get to me. I am really confused here. Why would you lead someone to believe that you’re interested then shut him or her down like that? When I came back after my days off I began to talk to her again, I was definitely not in the “flirtatious” mood. I felt like crap and it showed. She got the best of me. I even felt like inviting some girls that like me just to make her jealous but I know that’s kinda ridicules. I am definitely still attracted to her, I think? Some times I don’t want to be. I like her but at the same time I don’t. I’m just so confused. I know I can’t talk to her about this whole thing because it will make things more awkward. What the hell should I do?

[Gribble]

I’m confused and babbled with this problem

Hahah! Damn, that made me laugh.

[vashti]

When you asked her to go do something with you, did you explicitly state it was a date? She may have thought you were interested in hanging out as friends.

About the "flirty" conversations, I remember reading once that guys often misinterpret friendliness for flirting. You have to be extremely clear when asking a girl out that you are asking for a date.

[enterprise]

About the "flirty" conversations, I remember reading once that guys often misinterpret friendliness for flirting. You have to be extremely clear when asking a girl out that you are asking for a date.

How should one do that?

[vashti]

"I'd like to take you on a date. Do you want to catch a movie on Saturday night?"

[enterprise]

"I'd like to take you on a date. Do you want to catch a movie on Saturday night?"

o ok, from the way you posted that i assumed you may need more than that

[GratefulOne]

Best to keep it simple, and straightforward...

[a123]

"I'd like to take you on a date. Do you want to catch a movie on Saturday night?"

ill try that but if it backfires im blaming you!

[zro]

From a male's point of view: yes, she is playing you, in my ****ing opinion women are mentally weaker than men, if they like a guy they will go after them with all their might (think about it, some women get pregnant to hold onto a man, some girls break their own moral code for guys, most take hours just to dress up just to impress us)

On the other hand most females like to to lead guys on and have that feeling that someone likes them to feed their insecurity, until the next boyfriend comes along and then he can feed it - to be honest it sounds like what this bitch was doing to you, stringing you along to feed her insecurity

Males are also weak, weak in the "pants" as soon as we get a signal, we get all excited and gitty, thats why you hear of males going bankrupt cause of spending on bitches - males tend to fall in love less frequently but harder and quicker in my opinion

My advice (which could be ****ing useless) is leave this bitch, if she likes you she will chase, this is 2007 not 1900s, even a girl with the face like the back of a bus is confiedent enough to voice her opinion, grow a ****ing pair, strengthen that mind and ignore her......all the above is my opinion, if you dont like you can get ****ed

[vashti]

in my ****ing opinion women are mentally weaker than men, if they like a guy they will go after them with all their might

How is going after a guy with all your might an indication that women are mentally weaker? The example you provide makes women sound more determined, that's all.

You know zro, one day the girls you date will grow up, and then all your stereotypical beliefs about women will have to be thrown out.
Haven't you EVER known a woman of substance?

[zro]

i didnt say all women are like that, its a general observation, women are more easily manipulated - thats why alot more women are played or talked into doing things than when compared to guys, men can be weak too as mentioned in my above post, i just think on average, in comparison females are mentally weaker than males

My point to a123, was that if the girl in question truly did like him, she would not have blown him off

I do hope you are right and i do meet a female who is above all the petty, weak minded and material things and games that females indulge in, but as of now (i am 22) i have not met a single female that does that, and sadly this includes my own mother (dont get me wrong, i would gladly stroll into the gates of hell for her)..... i could be ****ing wrong of course but thats just my opinion

[vashti]

i didnt say all women are like that, its a general observation, women are more easily manipulated - thats why alot more women are played or talked into doing things than when compared to guys, men can be weak too as mentioned in my above post, i just think on average, in comparison females are mentally weaker than males

My point to a123, was that if the girl in question truly did like him, she would not have blown him off

I do hope you are right and i do meet a female who is above all the petty, weak minded and material things and games that females indulge in, but as of now (i am 22) i have not met a single female that does that, and sadly this includes my own mother (dont get me wrong, i would gladly stroll into the gates of hell for her)..... i could be ****ing wrong of course but thats just my opinion

Not all women are meant to be your cup of tea. This makes it possible for you to deeply appreciate the one who was meant for you.

My observation is that there ARE girls who are "above" the things you despise, but they aren't necessarily always the most beautiful girls in a room. Extreme physical beauty often masks internal ugliness.

The problem for males is that their expectations are often unrealistic. We have to be beautiful (but not know it), intelligent (but not smarter than our men), sexy (but virginal and wholesome), and emaciated (but with giant fat pads in our chest area), nice (but not TOO nice). That is a lot for young girls in their 20s to manage.

[zro]

I am fully aware that no human is perfect, male or female - and as i stated in the "perfect girlfriend" thread, looks are not that important to me, dont get me wrong i have to be attracted to them - but to be honest it doesnt take much, maybe a 6/10 in the looks department is good enough for me, personality is a different thing though, i am very picky in that department i have to admit

And i dont care if a female is smarter than me, thats a bonus - she can illectually challenge me and we can actually have a meaningful conversation, and females dont have to be virgins, as long as they are not ****ing sluts...i am happy

Not all guys focus on looks

[a123]

Zro I totally agree with your point of view about females and there crave to feed their insecurity. Females do lead guys to experience the feeling of being liked. I just wish I could turn it around and make her feel the same way I feel right now without sinking down to her level. Damn this bitch is playing me; if she weren’t so hot it would be a lot easier to just ignore her.

[Gigabitch]

a123, I think you should stop trying to make this happen. You shouldn't have to push this hard to get a second date. Save yourself for someone who actually wants you.