I wanted to put this in the ask a male forum, because it's hard for women to know how guy's minds really work.
My boyfriend of 6 months is moving in January, 9 hours away. He wants me to go with him and live with him. I'm a little against living together, especially since marriage hasn't been discussed, so I brought it up. I told him that I really didn't want to live with someone unless they knew they wanted to marry me. I told him that I wasn't trying to get him to tell me that, because we haven't been dating for a long time, but I just wanted to see what his views on marriage are. He surprisingly told me that marriage is not appealing to him.
My heart dropped. I asked him why, and he told me because of the way marriage has (or hasn't) worked in his life. His parents were married and divorced 3 times, most recently less than a year ago. My boyfriend was engaged to his ex before me, and she ended up breaking up with him and getting engaged to his good friend immediately. Needless to say, he has a very negative view of marriage. He told me that he will probably want it in the future, but he can't say for sure. If he does, he said he won't be ready for at least 4 or 5 years. He said his mind could change, but he can't tell me that he definitely does want marriage eventually. He will be 26 in October, and I'm 24. I had envisioned getting married after about 3 years of dating. I am almost completely convinced that I want this man in my life forever. If it weren't for him moving, I would be a little more patient, but I have to make a decision in the next few months that could change my life forever.
Do you think he is still scarred from these traumatic situations? They happened pretty recently, so maybe he just needs a little bit of time to realize that marriage can be beautiful? Men- do a lot of guys say things like this, then change their mind?