Some Advice Needed

[neonlights411]

Okay, here is the story:

In one of my classes at school, I met this girl , we started off talking and slowly developed a relationship. Around 2 weeks later, I felt attracted to her and ask her out.

She appeared flattered and said that she really would like to know me better before she says yes but she says (and I quote) "The answer is not a No".

I'm totally all right with this and continue my relationship with her. This is where it gets complicated. I start to hang out with her a lot more and I learn a lot more about her. I learn that she is not a virgin and some other facts that didn't really lighten my day. (But she did share these facts willingly with me which makes me think that she at least trusts me.)

One day, while hanging out at her house, I met one of her "friends" whom is a 24 year old guy who she really enjoys being around. However, she is only 17 (turning 18 in a week). I just really believe that this guy is her "boyfriend" even though she insists to me that he isn't. Additionally, I have a friend who knew Jeannette from another class not too long ago and said that she mentioned to him that she had a boyfriend who was 23. Coincidence?

A few weeks later:

Just a mere few hours before posting this, I just returned from her house. We started off alone (besides her little brother who was playing in the other room) and I really enjoyed being with her. But then her "boyfriend" comes over and I basically laid on the couch while she and this guy had a blast talking. She kept asking me why I was so "depressed" and I just replied with some excuse that I was so intently listening to the conversation when in reality I was bored to death.

I ended up leaving because she had to finish cleaning the kitchen and she asked her "boyfriend" to help. So I told her I'd see her tomorrow, said goodbye, and left.

From what she has told me, this 24 year old guy is a great family friend and she did like him but not anymore. I want to believe her but its just so hard. I just really think this girl doesn't want to be with me but she does not want to give me a straight answer. Is it out of pity?

What do I do? Do I just give up and keep being friends with her? Do I try to get to the bottom of this and pry (which I really don't want to do)? I just don't know what to do. I really enjoy this girl but I don't want to get head over heels for her if she really doesn't want to be with me.

Any help would greatly be appreciated. Thank you for reading.

[hitch]

I'd stop talking to her and pretend to lose interest. She'll come around if she's interested and she'll probably ask you why you stopped seeing her. You can reply by telling her that the douche bag she is currently seeing is the reason. If she doesn't come around...she's not worth it.

[misombra]

oh man. stay the hell away from that. sounds like she likes boys to like her.

find a girl who doesn't have a boyfriend or a "boyfriend" of any age.

[jurupa]

Sounds like the 24 year old is her "boyfriend" because it sure seems like it. Stop talking to her and find another girl. Because she seems to like the attention and nothing much else really.

[Gigabitch]

Yeah. You're the "Plan B" guy. That's not good.

[The Great OV!!!]

How about you give up and STOP being friends with her? You sound wimpy, **** this bitch...personally I don't take maybes. Only a Yes or a No to a date...I have been getting alot of "no" from girls lately but that is my story.

I learn that she is not a virgin

Tickled my fancy to quote this.

[TheSphinx]

I learn that she is not a virgin...that didn't really lighten my day.

...Keep this mindset and I have a feeling you will have a lot of not-so-bright days ahead of you. While there are some girls who will remain chaste until they are married, you can't change a girl's past. Why not celebrate the fact that she is probably open to (and perhaps less inhibited and more skilled in) physical love?

What do I do? Do I just give up and keep being friends with her?

Why not continue to see her casually and date some other girls? You will get to explore other options, and if she is into you, Hitch's prediction will most likely be the outcome.

[The Great OV!!!]

...Keep this mindset and I have a feeling you will have a lot of not-so-bright days ahead of you. While there are some girls who will remain chaste until they are married, you can't change a girl's past. Why not celebrate the fact that she is probably open to (and perhaps less inhibited and more skilled in) physical love?

He never asked for help in this area. He never said that he wanted to change her past. He never mentioned anything else except that he didn't like hearing it. Your post never should have happened.

[misombra]

if that's true then your post should not have happened either.

then this one shouldn't either.

do u see how one little post can create such a crazy set of events?

[The Great OV!!!]

if that's true then your post should not have happened either.

then this one shouldn't either.

do u see how one little post can create such a crazy set of events?

Exactly *points at TheSphinx*

[neonlights411]

First I would just like to say thanks to all the advice.

How about you give up and STOP being friends with her? You sound wimpy, **** this bitch...personally I don't take maybes. Only a Yes or a No to a date...I have been getting alot of "no" from girls lately but that is my story.

As much as I want to go just say "**** this bitch", I still want to give want to give it another shot. I still sorta feel like something is there.

Sounds like the 24 year old is her "boyfriend" because it sure seems like it. Stop talking to her and find another girl. Because she seems to like the attention and nothing much else really.

Well, I have a reason to believe the guy has a girlfriend because of a conversation they had but I honestly have no idea and its not a fact so I'm not at all sure.
I do, however, agree that she likes the attention she gets from me. And personally, I don't mind giving it to her.

I'd stop talking to her and pretend to lose interest. She'll come around if she's interested and she'll probably ask you why you stopped seeing her. You can reply by telling her that the douche bag she is currently seeing is the reason. If she doesn't come around...she's not worth it.

That is definitely what I might do. Sometimes I do ignore her in class and she would ask why I'm "mad" at her. I don't know if its the same thing but..?


I also believe that she trusts me a lot more than her other guy friends (with the exception of Mr. 24) because she received a call from another guy friend who invited her to go up North to a snow resort. However, she doesn't want to go because she'd rather not be alone with him. She's almost always alone with me which probably means she feels safe with me. (?)

I may be just looking for reasons not to give up so any more advice would be greatly appreciated.