Girlfriend doesn't want to be in a relationship. But am I so confused :(

[Dbabin88]

We have been dating for two months, fell in love quite quickly and things got serious right off the get go.
Recently she told me that she wants a break, she does not want to be a in relationship with me. She wants to be friends and see where things go. Whether that be start dating again or just remain friends. She explained to me that we are not compatible, doesn't know if she loves me or is in love with me and we are two very different people and our relationship is making her unhappy at the moment (among other things in her life) This all came out of nowehere. I tried the best I could to do what she wants and be who she wants.

She said perhaps after being friends for awhile, we could start dating and see where it goes.

I do not know how to approach this. We agreed that we would not see nor date other people or fool around with anyone else.
I'm stuck because I do love her very much, I want to be with her. But how long am I supposed to wait doing this friend thing? She might just want to be friends and that's it. She told me that there's no time-line, we'll just know when it happens.

I don't know what to do or if I should just move on or try and see where things go.

[smackie9]

My advice to you is to not let her have her cake and eat it too. You are letting her control everything, and leaving you hang emotionally by a thread. Be a man and tell her this is not going to work. Either she wants to be with you or not....tell her maybe or wait and see is not an answer. If she says no or won't give you an answer, you tell her there will be none of this "Being friends" and you are going no contact, no messaging, don't talk to you, etc. I can hear you gasp as you read this but this is the only way to get her back. Once you take something away from someone, their reaction is to want it back.

This is why she is pushing you away is because you spend too much time with her, you have become obsessive with her, and you made yourself too available to her.....this takes away her desire for you.

[basilandthyme]

If this girl sees the two of you as being incompatible, I can't see what a break will achieve. I can't see that a break will make you more compatible.

She wants to end it but it too gutless to pull the plug.

[Wakeup]

One of THE worst people to leave your heart in their hands with is someone who doesn't want it. If someone is telling you they don't want you the way you want them then you believe themand get the heck away from them so you can heal and get to the stage of indifference to them and their flakey BS. Dump her. Don't let her pull your strings like Gheppetto did Pinnochio's before he became a real boy.

Seriously... Get away from her. Don't let her play you.

[byro13]

First and foremost you need to find out what is why she is unhappy with you. Why she said that you two are compatible? Did she said any specific reason?

[r321148]

I was on the other side of this. About 6 years ago I started seeing a girl. This was quite soon after getting out of a previous long term relationship. After about a month I hit a wall and got really confused about my feelings. I told her I wasn't ready to be with her but that I valued her and wanted to keep her as a friend. After a tentative start to the friendship where we didn't talk all that much, we started to hang out more and more, either just the 2 of us or in groups. After about 6 months of friendship I realised my feelings for her were growing stronger and we then got together properly and went out for 5 happy years. I seriously doubt we would have ended up together if she'd cut contact with me as what made up my mind was how much I enjoyed her company and how happy she made me when I was around her. It just worked better when we both backed off and formed a solid friendship.
I'm not saying this will happen to you as everyone is clearly different but its not as black and white as is often made out. If she says she's not sure maybe there are reasons? Maybe the reasons are not even specifically to do with you? or maybe she is just stringing you along? Maybe if you stay friends your relationship will blossom like mine did or maybe it'll fizzle out? Maybe if you cut contact she'll miss you and want you back or maybe she'll forget about you? I can't really give you any answers but just wanted to put my story across.
If you do go the friendship route though you do need to back right off and be ok with the fact that a friendship may be all it ever is. If you can't do that then I don't think going for being friends is for you.
Good luck with it. Hope you get what you want.