This is a long story. But I need advice.
Okay here is the back-story. I year ago I broke up with my first girlfriend. We didn't end contact however. We still talked and hung out. We shared a phone plan even. Big mistake. Anyways 3 days after I broke up with her I started to date one of my friends. We dated for 8 months and everything was cool. She had expressed that she had reservations about me still taking to my ex but she didn't make it a big deal. She didn't want to be too serious. Anyways in January I hung out with my ex. The girl I was dating found some texts and asked me if I hung out with my ex. I said no and she got emotional. She said she knew I had and that it really hurt that I lied to her face. After a lengthy conversation we made up and I told her that I wouldn't lie to her again.
A couple of weeks later we got into a serious relationship. I sent my ex an email saying I couldn't talk to her because my gf would not be happy and that it would be inappropriate. Well she went livid and texted me and called me until I finally answered. I told her to please leave me alone. She did for like a week. Then she started to call me and text me again. At first I just ignored it hoping she would go away. She didn't. My gf asked me if my ex had try to contact me and me trying to avoid a fight said no. It got to the point where I was so irritated because she wouldn't stop that I gave in and answered her texts and calls.
My gf asked me why I hadn't cancel my line yet and I told her work was slow and most of my money went to taking her out and stuff. She said she understood but still sounded uneasy. Which is total understandable. Anyways my ex kept contacting me and I kept answering. Mostly to ask her to understand that we couldn't talk. I even encouraged her to find someone else. About a month ago I had enough money saved up to cancel my line and buy my gf a ring from Tiffany's. I was going to surprise her. I made the mistake of texting my ex informing her I was going to cancel my line and I asked her to not contact me because I was going to be with my gf. Well she texted me at 1 in the morning while I was in bed with my gf. My gf asked who the hell was texting me at 1 am and I panicked because I didn't want to ruin the surprise and I knew this fight would be a big one. Well I lied and said it was my friend. She told me to call the number and I dialed the number but changed the last digit. She didn't buy it and knew what I did. She broke up with me and we didn't talk for a week.
I was pissed at my ex and went to her house and talked to her and said I hated her and didn't want to ever hear from her again. She then proceeded to text my gf (I have no idea how she got it) that I had cheated on her and all this shit. I took a lot to convince my gf to talk to me again and she said she wanted to take things slow but was really worried I might had cheated on her. I encouraged to talk to my ex and even meet up with her because I knew she would coward. She texted my ex but my ex didn't answer. I felt relieved. Me an my gf kept working on things. I changed my number but I couldn’t cancel the line anymore because I had used that money to pay for an issue I had with my car. I didn't hear from my ex until she somehow got my new number. I was so pissed I cussed her out and everything. That evening my gf said in order to move on forward she needed proof I was talking to my ex. She asked to see my text history and call history. I said ok. I knew she would see texts and calls from my ex so I knew I was going to have to explain. While my gf was at work the next day my ex called her and told her we had sex all the time behind my gf back and all of this shit. My gf asked for her password to see her account and my ex knew there was going to be texts and calls between us. I guess she was smarter than I thought. My gf saw the history and was obviously pissed. She told me to not talk t her again all that good stuff. Needles to say I talked to my ex and told her if she contacted me again I would take legal action. I haven't heard from her again...... nor my gf. Well my ex gf now.
I bought her flowers and I wrote her a letter but she said it was over and needed to move on. My question I guess is what the hell can I do? I have given her a lot of space. My best friend says this is salvageable but I will need to exert a tremendous amount of energy and time on this to get her back. I am willing to do that but I don't know how to start. I know I kept things from my gf but it was to avoid fights and because I wanted my ex to just go away. How many of you have gotten girls back? What can I do about my ex contacting me?
It just sucks that my ex ruined my relationship. Is that normal for exs to do that kind of shit? Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated. Thanks.