so most regulars probably know my story with my present GF . sorry for the long post in advance .
so heres the deal . i cant decide if i want to stay with her or if i want to dump my GF . i know we have only been together for 4 months but for 4 months this relationship is on an advanced level for both of us at least ...
see she's "in love" with me , she says she never felt like this for anyone else but me , sometimes i piss her off but she cant stay mad at me , she quickly goes back to being all happy with me . im the guy that got to "break her in " ...if you get my drift . she says she want to marry me and wants me to be the father for her children ...even tho her family wont accept it even if i change to their religion .
now i find that this relationship can barely be called a relationship at all . i cant call her , she barely calls me , i cant see her often , i get to see her about 2-3 times per week , usually about 1 in those 3 times it last 4-5 hours , the rest is only 2 hours . we are sexually active , i have had the most amazing sex with this woman , she was actually able to make me cum (even repeatedly) not like my ex ( who was my 1st) .
i seriously see it more like some type of more intimate dating than an actual relationship , of course she doesnt know this , for the first 2 months she keept considering braking up with me and even tried a couple of times , everytime she came back to me . i tolerated all of that , once she "tested" me and made me feel so sad about losing her even tho all along she just wanted to know how i would act if she really wanted to dump me , i think thats when i started considering this only as "temporary" . how could somebody that supposedly "loves you " play like that ?
she is a liar , even tho i can see she is trying now not to lie she still does it sometimes , or maybe she is just saying that and is making me think that , i have trust issues , i admit it finally ,i have been betrayed by many ppl , even by my own family , the ones i thought i could always trust . i have noone that cares for me truly . i have had trust issues with everybody since my teenage years , i think my past weed consumption helped to grow the paranoia . thank god i stopped all the drugs for about 2 years now .
she has cheated before , now with me but she confessed she did with her ex ( she had 2 BF before me... ) ... she cheated on her 2nd ex with the 1st ex . she never loved her ex , she never did anything with him , just holding hands . she cheated him because her ex kissed her , after a short while she realized what she was doing and pushed him away . she says that she regrets doing that . post about this on this thread : [url]http://www.loveforum.net/t11095-cheating.html[/url]
i know im bad for not telling her this , but i cant be an idiot and ruin everything for myself either . i have been to nice all along , i have to be a tiny bit selfish at some point . basically i do love her but i dont see a future with her .
she can easely lie and cheat on me anytime almost , there are always guys after her everywhere , even girls (lesbian friends) , she sees her exes at leats 3-4 times per year , her family are friends with her ex's families . so they have partys and they are always there , there are always guys proposing to her ( shes muslim and afghan thats why)
it is 10x harder to be with her when i could be with somebody else that could be super easy to date and to support a relationship with . i have everything going against me and i have been there all this time , i admit , if she really is faithfull and truthfull to me and if we get married she would be a wonderful wife and i would be glad to spend the rest of my life by her side . BUT she could also be the biggest waste of time and money , not to mention all that effort that im putting into this relationship , if it werent for my sacrifices it never would have worked out . i know i can never really know if shes 100 % faithfull and truthfull but she keeps doing things that i cant help to doubt if shes not playing around .
its hard to find a girl with her mentality and her understanding nowadays ... most girls just want to be all like "ohh lets go clubbing and getting shared by guys "
i know i could get that but i dont want that . we have LOTS in common , i think she is one of the rare persons that could truly understand me . i have known lots of ppl and dates btw if this helps .
thank you for reading , feedback is appreciated .
HELP LF members and friends !!!