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Thread: Shoud I tell him?

  1. #1
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    Shoud I tell him?

    I have a guy friend and he lives in another state. We went to the same high school and we found each other through FB and every since then, we have been chattin, talkin on the phone, txtin, and emailin each other back and forth. We also flirt a lot and he admitted that he was physically attracted to me. But, sometimes, I feel as though there might be more just by how he is there for me every time I need a friend to talk to. He really listens to everything I tell him and he always remember every detail about me. He always jokes about wanting to see me but he also told me the exact prices of how much it would cost to fly down here and even looked up how far it is a drive to come down where I'm at.

    I don't know exactly what it is I'm feeling. All I know is that I can't stop thinking about him. I like everything about him, from his charming personality to his hobbies and interests because they're pretty much similar to mines. He makes me laugh all the time and he always makes my day that much better.

    Just recently, I found out he's being sent overseas due to orders being in the military, and he's leaving in a month! My heart sank to the ground when he told me, but I told him I was glad for him because it was something he wanted in the past that he's been waiting on. All day, I couldn't stop feeling so sad and I don't know why. I really do like him, yet I don't know how he feels about me. I feel as though if I don't say anything, I'm going to be living my whole life wondering what if? But then, if I tell him, would it change things btwn us, especially if he doesn't feel the same way? And I know it shouldn't be a good idea, because he's going overseas, but I can't help how I feel. What should I do?

  2. #2
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    you have nothing to lose in telling him exactly how you feel.
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    I'd tell him.

    Better than to live with 'what ifs' and 'if only'.

    Plus if you tell him, you are going to know one way or the other, where you stand and how he feels.
    And if he's not feeling the same, it saves you wasting time and you can choose not to invest any further time in him.

    Friends is hard with someone you have feelings for and to continue on as 'friends' if he doesn't feel the same...I wouldn't advise

    Hopefully he will feel the same

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    He obviously has feelings for you. And if you think it might be a possibility that you could be together in the future, then if I were him I'd love to hear it from you before heading overseas. Give him something to look forward to when he comes back

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    Go visit him... tell him you're going to be in his town on a certain date and that you two should grab a coffee, lunch, or drink.

    Then, take it from there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by xxazurexx View Post
    I'd tell him.

    Better than to live with 'what ifs' and 'if only'.

    Plus if you tell him, you are going to know one way or the other, where you stand and how he feels.
    And if he's not feeling the same, it saves you wasting time and you can choose not to invest any further time in him.

    Friends is hard with someone you have feelings for and to continue on as 'friends' if he doesn't feel the same...I wouldn't advise

    Hopefully he will feel the same
    it's like a 50/50 deal~ If I tell him, it's either he will feel the same way or I will lose him as a friend. But thank you!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jlee0384 View Post
    it's like a 50/50 deal~ If I tell him, it's either he will feel the same way or I will lose him as a friend. But thank you!
    That is the sad part. If they don't feel the same, the friendship goes also.

    I was in a similar situation not that long ago and the hardest part was losing the really great friendship we had.
    After 2 years, I couldn't be friends anymore much to his dismayal and I had to resort to ignoring and cutting off contact completely.
    It was hard, but it's something I had to do.

    The signs all look good for you...so fingers crossed. Let us know what happens next

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    “For of all sad words of tongue or pen, / The saddest are these: ‘It might have been!’” - John Greenleaf Whittier

    It is better to know, and possibly feel brief pain, than to never know and always wonder. Tell him!

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    LOL. I almost tried... but something is a little off. Lately, he hasn't called or txt me as much since he found out. When he told me, he didn't even sound as exciting as I thought he would. Maybe this was all in my head and this is how he is with everyone. I still got a month left before he leaves. I will wait to see how everything is for a few days. I think me telling him will only add more to his plate.

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    Have you considered that maybe it's possible he feels the same, but is unsure of your feelings? Now that he knows he is leaving, maybe he is feeling the loss as well.
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