Offended Indirectly

[anachronistic]

My girlfriend performed in a play on Monday. I went to go see. Her character in the play was a snobby cheerleader. I really disliked her part, and I know it's ridiculous... but I was actually offended by her part. It made me realize a lot about her.

Today she was really loud and obnoxious. I pretended like she wasn't there... I just couldn't bear it.

As we were all walking up to chorus class, she was talking to one of her friends, and a 'nerdy' type guy was talking to her and mimicking her in a friendly way, and I was surprised how she reacted... she obnoxiously responded "**** OFF OR I'LL PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE, FREAK"

I was like uhh--.... I cut infront of her in a sense to show she was being rude, and I had the nerdy kid come with me. I didn't like how she treated the kid. He is really friendly, and she was just so rude. I made a new friend today
The nerdy kid.

I think I am going through a phase or something. Or she is changing. I don't know what it is. I just hope she isn't changing into a snotty bitchy girl...

[Zach]

Yeah, people change and never stop changing. Hopefully she will snap out of it.

[anachronistic]

I'm about to say something to her.. Would that be a good idea? If so, how should I go about it?

[jurupa]

To be honest, I doubt saying anything will help much; she'll likely continue acting as she wishes. Even if she wants to heed your concerns, it's more than likely she'll forget about them when the occasion arises.

True, but by not expressing his concerns about her behavior will only make the relationship worse as keeping it in while she continues to do this doesn't do any good.




lilwing - The nerd did make fun of her in a way, but your girl friend also did not take the correct action either. I think you should first ask her why she took that part and why is she continuing to act like so out side of the play. Make it clear that you have no intentions to change her behavior but also make it clear that you do not like it either. Also if it really bothers you as it seems, show her that you will not put up with her behavior as well. Like you did when the nerd said what he said and you step in to show that you did not like your girl friends behavior. Because I bet you if she can get away with this behavior around you, she will continue it.

[anachronistic]

Update;

I went to the basketball game tonight, at my school. I held up the music for one of my friends so she didn't have to get a stand. Then we practiced jazz band. My girlfriend isn't in the jazz band. She was walking around looking for stuff to do, and went into the practice room (room where I store my bass guitar) and practiced her clarinet solo.

When jazz practice was over, I went into the room, looked at her, and put my guitar away. I didn't say anything. As I rose, she said "We need to talk."

I replied "Why?"

She said "Because you're ignoring me a lot..."

I almost bursted out with everything she has done that is bothering me, and all, but I played it cool. I looked back at her, almost ready to ask when we could talk, and the band director interrupted us, seeing what she was doing.

So I walked out, and watched the 2nd half of the basketball game with a few friends. I left. No note on my car, or anything romantic that I really want. Just my messy car standing in the snow. I drove all the way home with no music, thinking about it all.

The most mature thing to do would be to discuss with her my feelings. This is what I will do. She may be changing (or not) but I still love her... A part of me will always love her.

I don't know how to say what I want to say. I don't want to offend her or say it the wrong way. I just want to tell her how I feel without misunderstanding.

How would you tell her?

[vashti]

Why don't you just say "why were you so mean to __________? I hate when you are so mean to other people."

[The Great OV!!!]

She sounds like a bitch.

[anachronistic]

Why don't you just say "why were you so mean to __________? I hate when you are so mean to other people."

Hmm that would work, but it still doesn't cover how her part in the play offended me...

and OV: I do agree that she sounds like a bitch. She is turning into a bitch. She used to be really nice to everybody. I am disappointed in her.

[The Great OV!!!]

and OV: I do agree that she sounds like a bitch. She is turning into a bitch. She used to be really nice to everybody. I am disappointed in her.

Maybe it is just a phase?

[vashti]

Why would you be offended by her acting out a role? That is what she was *supposed* to do. Let that one go or you will look really silly.

[elNatural]

well she is obiously noticing that you dont like something, and she took the time to try and talk to you about it so that itself tells you that she cares about your opinion of her. i think you should have waited until the band director was done talking to her to talk with her, but since u didnt i suggest you talk to her next time possible, call her or go over to her house in person, i always find it better to talk in person because you also have body language to interpret that way.