Not enough space? Its a long explination but I NEED the advice

**amanda133** · 09-09-08, 10:48 PM

My boyfriend and I have been dating for two months. We moved really fast and fell inlove, He told me every single day how much he loved me, called me constantly, asked me to sleep over every night, I was cooking dinners, we were hanging out with friends & family and just overall having a great time together. He told me that he never met a girl that he could actually say he wanted to marry.

We ended up having a fight the other night because he came home all bent out of shape because he hit a dog on his way home, he said he needed to go out, so i let him go. Then I ended up at the same bar as him and he got really mad, thought I was "stalking him" which i definately wasnt. We fought outside the bar and then i went to his house, got my over night bag and left. He said he needed the night alone.

So i talked to him the next day and he said he needed another day, I told him that was fine and that I had plans to be with my girlfriends that night anyway (friday). I didnt hear from him all weekend And I know he had been dealing with alot of crazy family issues that were really bothering him so i stopped by on sunday night, he was in the shower and i thought I'd surprise him, he got pissed off that I didnt give him enough space, I tried to explain that its fine if he needs space but that i need him to communicate with me so that I know we are okay. He said we needed to break up, that he had too much to deal with and he couldnt handle my needing to communicate,

His friends told me that he is the kind of guy who will dissappear from a friend circle for weeks at a time if hes dealing with his own issues, and when one little thing sets him off he is absolutely miserable and can't get happy for a while. I talked to him about this for a while and he finally told me about his family problems, i told him i understood, he also said he had alot of personal problems with himself to work out and that he needed to make himself happy before being with me. He said im a great girl and he knew he was going to regret what he was doing but he needed to break up. I tried to explain to him that I want to be with him, no matter what he has going on, and that if needs time, even if we can't talk during this time then i'll wait, because i really do love him and he's worth it in my eyes. I told him how happy id been with him because i knew he was down on himself. He asks me to stay over, i tell him that i cant stay unless i know we're going to be alright, and he says that we will eventually be okay.

We wake up in the morning and he says the he doesnt want me to think things can go back to being the way they were, he still needs his space and then i ask him if im going to have to go another 3 days without talking to him, apparently this is what he doesnt like, my questioning when we'll talk again. So he says we need to break up, AGAIN, he tells me to get my things so that i wont have to stop by at all. Outside by my car we're talking, and im crying and hes in a bad mood because of this depression but we are talking about things and i tell him that i dont want to be without him, and that i will wait for him to take his space, I told him "you're going to miss me" and he said "maybe I won't have to amanda, just give me a little space" - from that i took, that he meant give me space so we can get back togeter and i wont have to miss u long term. Anyway then we discussed that we are not going to hook up with other people during this space, he said that if i sleep with anyone else we'll never get back together, i say that the same goes for him. I told him i want him to be able to call me and say "i want you to sleep next to me tonight, but i still need my space" He says we have amazing sex and he doesnt want anyone else, if he needs it he promised to call me and not get with some random girl. He said he wants to take it back to when we just hung out a few times a week and didnt talk everyday.

Im so confused because he told me he loved how close we were and how i took care of him so well, and now hes saying he needs time and space to do his own thing and that he needs to be happy before making me happy, and he doesnt want to have to worry about hurting me or bringing me down. I believe hes sincere but i need some serious advice from an outsider on this. I mean come on he told me he had the best 2 months of his life with me and that these new family issues screwed it all up. He's 27 years old, and I am 21. I really care about him, and I do love him. His friends say he has never been so happy as when hes with me. Someone please help me here im not sure what to think. How long am I supposed to wait for him to figure things out here?
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**LadieNisha4u2nv** · 09-09-08, 11:07 PM

Plain and simple, you're too clingy for him. He wants his "me-time" and if you're always there how can he have it on his own? When I was first reading it, I was wondering why the hell would he react that way so randomnly, but after reading it more and seeing what he said, he thinks you're too clingy. Just give him his space, in every way possible. He told you make him miss you. So do not call him, let him call you. The more you call him, the more he gets disgusted about you guys' relationship. Find yourself some things to do in the mean time. He's going through personal changes and he probably doesnt want you to see him at his downest. Just back off...when he's ready he'll be back....and if he doesnt come back....he wasnt meant to be there in the first place. We all want to be there for our s/o's at their downest, but some people tend to handle stressful situations more differently than others. Bare with him, and just do as he asks, you just may potentially destroy a possibly good relationship if you dont do the simple favor for him.