I like a girl that has a boyfriend. She likes me. What do I do?

[brass monkey]

Hi everyone, this is my first post here, I'm hoping to get some advice on a problem I am having.

I have been keen on this girl for about a year and have known her for about four. She is 23 and I am 30. We have been studying together for four years and she has had a boyfriend for that whole time, since she was in High School.
Lately we have been getting quite close, meeting up for extracurricular activities and texting each other a fair bit though nothing inappropriate. She has hinted a few times at certain frustrations about her boyfriend and has said a couple of times that her friends say she should break up with him etc. But she has also said that they are best friends.

Now I know that this girl likes me, don't ask me how, I just know. I am far from one to make the first move in this situation, it is against my principles. I understand how hard it must be to end a relationship that has lasted so long but I also understand that it is one of those first boyfriend high school loves.

What I need to know is how do I tell her that I want her? Do I tell her how I feel or go in for the kiss? Do I wait it out a bit longer and see if she makes the first move or do I forget about the whole thing? I am confused. I would appreciate any help from a female perspective. Most of my female friends also know her and the ones that don't know her, I have already asked and they just say do what you feel is right, which is true to an extent.

I'm sure someone out there must have been in this situation, from both the boys and girls perspective.

Please help

[pcmaster]

No man never been in this situation. So you say you like 7 years younger girl who have BF and you dont know how to say you like her. At your age chicks think about settling down and making kids. But you are still in this sandbox. First of all shes just a kid for you and theres now way it could work in longterm. She might want attention and have fun but dont take anything too serious. You will be the one who suffer if anything goes wrong. I can tell from here that you giving her too much value and think too much about her already. Big mistake.

Ofcourse she complains about her BF - all the girls do and its normal that she likes you, other girls do too. Theres nothing that much special except your influation.

Anyway check this guide and make sure you pay equal attention to other attractive girls aswell.

http://www.loveforum.net/threads/85674-Guide-on-interacting-with-girls

[brass monkey]

So what if I like a girl that is 7 years younger than me? Who are you to tell me that it will fail? My father is 12 years older than my mother and they are happily married and have been for many years. Age has nothing to do with love or my question. I like her and I know she likes me. I do pay attention to other girls and have been in many relationships over the years, but I really like this girl and I connect with her on so many levels and can see that she feels the same. Please pay attention to the actual question at hand.

[pcmaster]

So what you want to say is that you been in many relationships but your questions are - How do tell her that I like her and how to kiss her?

How did you kiss the other girls? Why are you giving so much value to this one girl and making this simple things so special?

Have to agree with your females friends, just do what feels right and if you dont feel it then dont do it. If you dont have it then dont show it.


These videos explains how to set up conversation right and escape friendzone.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYPHl0_G6B8

[brass monkey]

Don't patronize me. You clearly have nothing of value to add to this discussion.

[pcmaster]

What I need to know is how do I tell her that I want her? Do I tell her how I feel or go in for the kiss?

These are your questions and I answered them.

If you dont like the obvious its your own propblem. Could at least say thank you.

Would expect these kids questions from teenagers but when its coming from 30 year old then its more than I wana know. Shame on you man. Cant even deal with 23 year old at your 30's. Booo !

Gona leave you at this. Good luck with whatever.

[Peaches1605]

The easiest way is to just tell her. This way you'll know where she stands with her current relationship and with you. I mention this because there were times in my previous relationship where a guy admitted he had feelings for me and thought I felt the same - I didn't, but turned out I was sending mixed signals out - which I didn't even realise I was doing!

See how she reacts and take it from there. In all honesty, I don't think it will amount to much because when you're in a relationship, if you have good morals, you don't leave someone just because someone else likes you. Even if there are problems and issues, would she throw away something that works, with the familiarity and history, for something that may not even work out in the end? I'm not so sure, I don't know her.

Do what you think is right. If you tell her and she reciprocates then good luck, if she doesn't reciprocate then you can move on.

Good luck. Hope this helped!

[brass monkey]

Thanks Peaches, that is a great perspective and answers my question. I really appreciate it. I think I will wait a while and see how it pans out before I make any kind of move. I have been and will continue to keep my options open and if nothing comes out of this other than a good friendship, then I would still be a happy man. I am looking at it as a win win situation. Either I fall in love, bond a friendship or learn a valuable lesson.

Thank you