Hola,

I need some objective, unjudgmental and most importantly wise advice, because I'm in a messy situation. I met a lecturer at uni a couple of months ago, who is funny, intelligent, kind, terrifyingly attractive and it seems deeply attracted to me. However, he is 15 years older than me, and when we met he was just eight weeks married. The age thing doesn't really bother me, but the marriage thing is a potential deal breaker. I don't know his wife personally, but I know of her, and she's a beautiful and sweet woman who inspires only compliments from those who know her, and besides, they've been together for over five years, who am I to tear that apart? On the other hand, the chemistry is overwhelming, and when I'm with him, it's hard to remember her and all the pain I could cause. I know I should just resist, and concentrate on the next few months of uni, graduate, and leave him in my memory, but thats easier said than done, and part of me wants to give in, enjoy being young and free and having something exciting with him, and then walk away. If he wasn't married there's doubt I'd have a relationship with him, but having an affair is such a destructive and hurtful thing to do, and I cant escape the fact that even when I would leave him and start my life, the fallout from that kind of relationship could destroy his marriage. But, as I said, that's hard to keep in mind when the electricity between us starts flowing. The unavoidable fact is I have him as a lecturer until may 2012, so I need to find an answer, before I either do something I regret, or miss a wonderful opportunity. Whaddya think?

Thanks x