I was slapped by a girl- I still want to meet her

[Lovefool2017]

Hi there,

I was in a long distance relationship which was not working out and both of us were looking to meet someone. Well few days ago I met a girl in a festival and we had a drink- she runs a stall in a local market and comes here once a week. During our first meeting I asked her number and she gave it to me and said she had a bad experience few days ago and she asked me to be careful otherwise she would block me..

Few days later I sent her a text asking if she wants to meet me for dinner? She agreed and asked me to meet on the day she works here. 2 weeks later we met and had couple of drinks. She was explaining me her situation. We realised that both of us were in a similar situation. At the end of the evening though we didn't drink much I was absolutely drunk ( blame it on the craft beer). She had to drive so clock was ticking and so we decided to leave the place. She insisted on paying the bill art this particular pub. As we started walking towards her truck, don't know what got into my mind I tried to kiss her. She stopped me and started crying 'you men just want sex yada yada).. But she also had smile on herbface which made me think she is into me.. I tried again and in return of got a tight slap..

So then I stil devided to accompany her to the parking place to say goodbye. She offered me a drink from her truck and said she doesn't want to see me again. I asked her if I should explain it to my present gf - to which she said I shouldnt. I told her that I wanted to be honest with my gf..And I was so heartbroken at that time that I said I refused that drink. She was angry and left without saying bye.

Since then I sent her couple of texts every day. After three days on a Friday evening she replied which read In the beginning she wasn't sure if she wanted to see me again but now she was sure that she doesn't want to see me..

I sent her messages saying how ashamed I was and if she could give me another chance etc.. next day she asked me to stop worrying about things and move on. In the initial texts I asked her to block my on whatsapp but she didn't.
On Saturday I sent her a message saying I feel better because of her kind words and told her that I was drinking all afternoon. To which she replied that it isn't her problem and as we met just for few hours I should look forward.

On Sunday I sent her a message asking some information related to the city we live in. And then she blocked me feom whetsapp. I explained everything to my gf and she was cool with it. Me and my gf decided to end our relationship and stay friends. But now I can't forget this girl who slapped me. I am madly in love with her and unable to think about anything.

Could you please advise whether I should visit her food stall after 2 weeks ? I really don't want to lose her. I would atleast want to be friends with her.

Cheers,
Lovefool

[pcmaster]

Yeah you should visit her but this time dont be stupid and dont try to kiss her but this time try to stick it in right away. LOL

Man you made girl cry on a first date. What do you want from her? Leave her alone cause she have self respect and she made it clear she dont want to see you again. Sure you can go and try but think you are just taking on unnecessary struggle. Things shouldnt be so hard so early and if they are maybe its not the right girl. Since nothing happened its better to move on and start from zero with a fresh girl.

Dont thing friends are possible after she blocked you. Really you are in unhealthy mindset now, too obsessed over nothing.

[Lovefool2017]

Thanks PCMaster. I know I'm really not in right state of my mind. I am going to Prague this weekend on a short holiday and meeting my childhood friend (male). Hope I should be ok by then. Was thinking of visiting her stall 2 weeks later. Should I just go to her stall to buy food? Should I talk to her or just buy food and eat on the table she keeps infront of her stall? Do you think she will be ok to see me at her stall? Do you think she will sell me the food or will ask me to leave the place? I am a bit worried because last time I went she kind of introduced me to her neighbors in the market. In fact wevate at one of the stalls there. I don't know if she would have already discussed about me with these people? Do you think she will humiliate me? Should I ask her to give me another chance when I visit her stall? I feel nervous and I feel shattered. I feel so dejected in life. For past 4-5 days I'm just thinking about why I did that mistake and what made me do that.. i feel like a crap

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Sorry I was reading your reply on a mobile phone and it was not indented properly. Just read it on my computer. So basically I shouldn't go snd see her again. Right.. but what about my feelings. I have been upset for 5 days. Kind of depressed.. Never in my life I was so upset for so many conservatives days. Would I be alright?

[pcmaster]

I dont know answer to any of your questions. Only way how to find out is to do it. Even if she didnt wanted to see you its not set in stone cause girls change their mind as their feelings changes. I think you will be okay if you dont jerk off while thinking about her.

[TheEvilJester]

To be honest with you, this isn't really a time I can offer any other advice other than what I am personally thinking. Usually, I try to kind of offer advice to both sides of a particular topic. I offer the advice I personally think is best, but also offer some idea for the other side of things in case the person may really be leaning that way.

Here, though, I just can't do that in good conscience. On the first date, you made this girl cry (I realized you didn't mean to and it was an honest mistake/mis-reading of the situation, but the fact is she still cried) she slapped you, and she told you she never wanted to see you again.

That should have been clear enough. You tried keeping in touch and she mostly told you to leave her alone and move on. She did, at one time, she she was maybe changing her mind. I don't know why she'd do that, but if she wanted to change her mind that is up to her. Thing is.... she obviously changed it back and told you to move on. She couldn't be much more clear with you. So, NO, I cannot recommend you try talking to her, going to see her, or reaching out to her in any way again.

Believe me, I understand how you feel. You can't help it when you get a crush. Sometimes somebody just gets under your skin and it can be hard to forget them. But, the truth is you are NOT madly in love with her.... you are madly in love with the IDEA of her. Believe me, I know from experience it feels that way, but you don't know her well enough to love her. You love who and what you thought she maybe could be to you. But, she is not interested in that. Maybe she COULD have been that, maybe not.

But, the important thing to realize is that just because she did not turn out to be that for you/didn't want to try.... that does NOT mean you lost your chance at true love. It just means she wasn't your true love. Somebody else WILL be someday. Not to sound unromantic, but there isn't just one person out there for each of us who could be our "soulmate." There are plenty of people who COULD be.... that doesn't make it any less special when you do find somebody you feel is.

So, for now just forget her. It will be hard at first. I know that from experience. But, in time you will move on and you will feel better. You will like other women. Eventually you will find the right gal and she will make you forget all about it. Good luck to you.

[Lovefool2017]

Thank you so much guys. I take your advise and give it sometime. I think with time i will be alright. I will control my temptation to go and visit her stall. Its very difficult but i will try. I am one of those socially awkward, unlucky individuals. Before i was too shy to initiate a kiss during a date and wasted many years and dates like that. Now this.. Hitting midlife crisis soon. Only god can help me lol

[pcmaster]

If you been using porn or pleasuring yourself then there is website called nofab that can help you. Its about Por, Maturabation and Orgasm addiction.

Anyway man I think for dates you can use my guide. Also I have tehnicue where its easy to sleep with a girl on third date.

loveforum.net/the-relationship-news-and-articles/85674-guide-interacting-girls.html

[Lovefool2017]

Hi Guys,
Its getting crazy, I am still not able to forget this girl. All the time I am thinking about the discussions that I had in that meeting. Also obsessively checking if she has unblocked me. I don't know how long would it take for me to forget this incident.

Cheers,
Lovefool

[TheEvilJester]

There's really no set time frame. Sometimes you just have to let these things take their natural course. In time, your feelings for her will start to fade. Slowly, little by little, you will feel better. Eventually enough so that you can start to keep an eye out for possible love interests other than her. Sometimes you just can't help when somebody manages to "get under your skin," so to speak. Maybe there was something you saw in her or even just thought you maybe could see in her that really struck a chord with you.

Like I said before, it is entirely possible even if you did get to keep dating her she'd have turned out not to be what you thought anyway. Frankly, if she was this probably wouldn't have happened in the first place. If nothing else, think of it like this. ....Sure, maybe she had some past experiences that made her a little overly sensitive... Still, unless there is more to it than what you shared, don't you think it was a bit of an overreaction for her to slap you just for trying to kiss her? Isn't that what people do on dates if they think it went well and they like somebody? It would be one thing if you tried, she backed away, you tried, she said stop, and yet you try again anyway.

Unless I misunderstood, it sounds like you just went for the kiss and she slapped you. So, think of it this way.... Do you even WANT to be with somebody who is that hyper-sensitive anyway? Again, I am NOT saying that to vilify her. Sounds like maybe she's had an upsetting past, so I can understand why she may by that sensitive. I'm just saying, that is a much healthier attitude for you to have right now. Let yourself see that maybe it really is YOU who are better off after all that this did not work out. I have actually learned that myself. Sometimes things go terribly wrong in a particular relationship (be it a friendship or more) because they HAVE to. Otherwise you would miss it because you want to like the person, so you'd be stuck with a person who doesn't really deserve that spot in your life. Maybe that could be the case with her, maybe not.... but it could be helpful to at least consider that. Maybe it is YOU who should be thankful things didn't move further.

Good luck to you. Believe me, you'll feel better in time.

[Lovefool2017]

Thank you EvilJester. You are such a kind person. I did reply to your message a few days ago but for some reason it didn't get posted here.
Well I have been trying to forget her but I think I need more time. Last week a strange thing happened. I was in Prague and received a call (via viber) from an unfamiliar number. I googled the country code and it was from Tunisia. I do not know anyone from that country, more over caller did not speak anything. So I thought it was some scammer and decided to block that number. As I reached Switzerland from Prague, I received a call again from a Tunisian number. Even this time the caller did not speak a word. So I decided to block the number.
Later that evening as I was reaching home, I received a text ( from the same number that this girl had used the day we met as she was not carrying her phone). The text was in French which read ' Hello XYZ, I am thinking about you because I have a job for you in Algeria. Kisses'..
I thought it was sent to me by mistake and replied ' looks like you sent the message to a wrong number.. this is abc- xxx's friend'. To which the person replied Sorry.

I was thinking about it for a while because how could that person send text without checking the previous conversation. Also that person did not use whatsapp though he was online that day.
I have not contacted this girl ever since she blocked me on whatsapp. I had sent her Facebook request which I cancelled the day she blocked me on whatsapp. I subscribe to her business page. Sounds creepy but during last two weeks I visited her Facebook business and personal page few times. I even liked one of her business page posts which I see as my news feed. Interestingly the day after this text incident I could no longer view her Facebook personal profile- looks like she blocked me.
I know though she is Swiss, she is friends with some guys from French speaking Arabic countries. She had a 'special relationship' with a guy from Egypt. I was a bit worried after this incident if she was trying to send out a message to be careful? I mean calls from these countries and then text etc..
Then blocking me in Facebook. Do you think she hates me so much?

Cheers,
Lovefool

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Btw the text I received was on the weekday she is here in my town. Thats the only day of the week she is in my town. And the person who sent me the message also runs a stall in the same market ( I believe).

[Lovefool2017]

Couple of things I forgot to mention during my initial posts

- She still lives with her ex-bf for 4 years. They split 8 months ago
- She said she is in a special relationship with a guy from Egypt but he is trying to force his religion on her and she wants to finish that relationship
- After my first kiss attempt she started crying ' you men just want sex etc etc'.. but when I said I was looking for a relationship, she said 'she wanted just sex'.. I was confused and checked again. She goes ' I just want sex' (crying and smiling at the same time). I gave her a very bad look, to which she said ' No no I don't want just sex'.. then I hug her and tried kissing again and that's when I got the tight slap..

[TheEvilJester]

Yeah, see a lot of this is just furthermore making me think maybe you really did dodge a bullet here after all. So, you try to kiss her, she cries because supposedly "All you guys just want sex." ....Yet, she just wants sex. ...Oh, but no, never mind, she doesn't want just sex. ...Yeah, I think, honestly, you are better off without that kind of drama in your life.

Again, maybe she's had trauma in her life that made her so sensitive. The thing is, if she did then she needs to deal with that and get professional help if necessary. It isn't fair of her to take that out on your or anybody else she may potentially date. Again, if all you did was try to kiss her once (as in you did not keep trying even though she kept saying no) then you certainly do NOT deserve to be treated like some monster who forced yourself upon her.

She needs to deal with these issues before she dates anybody. Believe me, I do not mean that to sound harsh. If something did happen to her that made her this sensitive, that is terrible. The person who DID take advantage of her IS a monster and should pay for their crimes. But, if something like that did happen, she deserves the chance to get over that. A monster like that does not deserve to ruin the rest of her life. So, IF that is the case, I wish the absolute best for her and hope she gets the help she needs. At the same time, though, maybe it is better for you not to get involved with somebody dealing with those kind of issues right now.

Good luck to you.

[Lovefool2017]

Thanks again. Well she did mention to me that she takes anti-depressants, but she seemed happy and fine. My current gf (not sure how long we will be together) has similar issues ( actually a bit on the higher side). But as I said she resisted my first kiss attempt saying no and then doing that crying drama. Then she said she just wanted sex. I was confused and I tried the second time when we were hugging each other. My lips were on her lips thats when she pushed and slapped me.

Never the less I have no idea what she thinks about me. Then while we were walking she goes ' I am like this.. and I am still with that Egyptian guy'.. I was very quiet because I was so hurt because first time in my life ( i am in my late 30s) I was slapped by a girl. I did say to her that she slapped me very hard, for which she said but your lips were on my lips.. I just want to make peace with her. Otherwise I will never be able to kiss a girl again in my life. Honestly I don't mind if she doesn't want any relationship with me. I don't even expect sex pr anything from her. All I want is her forgiveness and accepting me as a normal person who committed a mistake. Hope you understand me feelings.

[TheEvilJester]

I understand how you feel, but sometimes in life we are better off just moving on rather than allowing ourselves to get stuck in one place. In other words, if you were to ask me personally, I think it is better to put this girl in your past and never think of her again. You don't need her forgiveness (again, at least in my opinion). What you did simply did not deserve the reaction she gave. Now, you mentioned this time that you tried to kiss her again a second time.

That, I would definitely say, was a mistake on your part. You'd tried to kiss her once and that led her to pull away and start crying. What exactly made you think it was a good idea to try again? Again, though, slapping you was, I think, crossing a line. Again, at least based on what you've shared. If there's more to the story then maybe it is different. Frankly, though, even the way she acted when you first kissed her was, to me, an over-reaction. Again, like I said, maybe she's had some tragedy in her past, though. I could understand that, and would wish her the best in recovering from that.

You do have to do what feels right for you. I would personally recommend just forgetting about her. Forgive YOURSELF. You don't need her to forgive you. In time, you will get over it, you will forget it, and you will be able to kiss other women. But, maybe you don't feel that would be right for you. So, if you really do insist, then maybe just reach out to her in whatever way you feel appropriate (phone call, e-mail, face to face) and try to just give her one final apology. Saying you didn't mean to upset her/cross the line and you feel bad for the way it ended. I would NOT recommend pursuing any further romantic relationship with her, but if it helps you feel better you can at least ask her to forgive you.

Again, it wouldn't be my personal advice to even bother with that, but you do have to do what makes you feel best. Good luck.

[richiro]

why?
any girl who is okay and capable to hitting a man - is not worth it in my book.