It's what I've always wanted... Just to late

[Mtfo1995]

So, 4 years ago this guy (let's call him Adam) and I began talking. We talked constantly and he flirted with me all the time. Stupidly, we decided to be friends with benefits Eventually though he decided he wanted to go out with a different girl. Their relationship only lasted 3 months and Adam and I decided to only be friends after. A few months later I started to go out with someone else (let's call him Mike). Fast forward 3 years and Mike and I are still together. And Adam and I are still friends. Mike and I have begun to start to talk about our future. We also moved into a house together last month. I also think he bought me an engagement ring because I found a ring sizing kit. Anyways, last week, Adam sends me a drunk text telling me that he made a mistake years ago. He's realized he doesn't think of me as a friend. He loves me. He's IN love with me. He's not going to do anything about it though because Mike made a commitment when he couldn't. Unfortunately, this has stirred up a lot of things in me. Adam has always been in my mind as the "what if" guy. But I pushed it into the back of my mind because of my love for Mike and because I thought Adam would never feel that way about me. I feel like a horrible person when I say this, but I don't know what to do.

[pcmaster]

Stick with Mike. Dont take drunk guy co fesion serious. He wants you only because its over, because you are with another guy. Its too late and you cant give up real thing to start from zero with ex because there will never be clean page you could never trust him again. Leaving Mike would make you only miss Mike.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, first off, you are NOT a horrible person. It doesn't sound to me like you willingly allowed this complicated situation to happen. You thought you and Adam were over as a couple, so you moved on. You found Mike. Now, unless I am wrong it doesn't sound like you had active feelings still for Adam (at least that you were aware of yourself) and yet decided to date Mike anyway. As far as you were concerned, you and Adam were over and you had moved past it.

Then Adam comes around telling you this and you discover that you did still have some feelings for him. You can't help how you feel. It isn't like you asked for this. Now, on the surface I would agree with PC. My personal advice would very much mirror his. Adam once had his chance with you and decided to move on to being just friends. Not that he was wrong to do so, but you can't do that and then change your mind and expect the person to just be waiting around for you. What was wrong of him to do was to stir this all up again.

Not only that, but he had you and let you go once before. Who could say he wouldn't just do the same again?

Now, the thing is, though, we can't really tell you what to do. We can offer our own thoughts and advice, but ultimately the decision has to be yours. I say that because... here's one thing... If you truly think about it and find that you don't think you really love Mike in that way, then you shouldn't stay with him just because he is a good guy. That doesn't necessarily mean you should go back to Adam. Maybe, maybe not, but you shouldn't feel like you are settling for somebody if they aren't who you really want. That wouldn't be right to you and it wouldn't be right to Mike. Again, that is IF you think about it and truly feel like you just don't love Mike in that way.

Maybe you do, and then I would personally think you'd be better off with him rather than going back to somebody who already let you go.... and even then you were only "friends with benefits." You weren't even actual boyfriend and girlfriend. Again, though, only you can really decide. Not an easy decision that lays before you, so I shall wish you the best in deciding what is the right path for you. Good luck!

[Hooo!]

Yes there is always what if
But that is not the question
The question is: do you love mike? Do you love him so much that you want to marry him and spend the rest of your life with him?

People have this Disney idea of love where there is only 1 right person on this planet for them
But that isn’t true
There are loads of people who can be right for you. You can even have relationships where everyone is fine with being together with more than one person

Love is not something that has border with the number 2

It could possibly work out with Adam too
And it would possibly be great
And maybe even „better“ (or not)

That is not the question

The questions of you want to be with mike or not

[janelove121]

Contact Dr. DUGO on E-mail: dugo_d()yahoo.com, he has the spiritual charm to make everything right back for you. Trust me