He's gone quite... what's my next step?

[Love07]

Hi There,

Looking for advise. I've been dating a guy for three months now, I really can see a future with him, I really do like him and care about him. We have both spoken about our future together, not just via text, but on the phone and face to face when we go out. He has told me he's falling for me and that he really wants to make this work.

He's currently not in a good place with work. He's very stressed, not happy and very persistent on making sure he's doing right by the company - despite the company he's working for is in financial distress. He's being lumped with all the calls from suppliers complaining they haven't been paid and because of this it's up to him to complete all the work (despite it not being his job). He is looking for another job and has had a few interviews. Still he's one of the last men still working for this company, he thinks he's a failure if he just quits. Every Sunday he gets anxiety and depressed knowing he has to work on Monday. It's bringing him down and being negative, which he hates.

We were supposed to catch up on Thursday, but he left work late so asked if we could catch up on Friday and I was fine with that. I sent him a message to see if he got home oaky as it's a long drive and didn't hear back. I waited a couple of hours and sent another text to see if he's okay. Yet no reply. By this this time I was getting worried. So I called but he's phone was off. I also notice then that the messages haven't gone through as his phone was off. This was unlike him. And of course I was really worried that perhaps he was in a car accident. By the morning I still haven't heard from him. I sent another just wondering if he got my texts and that he's okay. He replied, he apologised and said he had a massive headache so he went straight to bed when he got home. He made a comment that he was feeling crap and light headed but yet still went into work. I told him to take it easy and drink plenty of water and wished him good luck with his interview, followed by big hugs and kisses. Later int he afternoon I asked how he's day was going but no reply. Later that night I asked how his interview went and if he's still keen to catch up tonight. No reply. I've left it there. Its now ben 24 hours and I still haven't heard from him. I know he's probably just sorting things out in his head.

Do I just leave him to be and wait for him to get back into contact with me? How long do I wait? Should I wait a couple a days and then send a message to him seeing if he's okay and that I care. I'm a little lost on what to do next, I don't want to push him away by not giving him space. But I also don't really like him ignoring me. Please help.

[Mr Married]

Wait it out. Don't teach him so early in the relationship that he holds all the cards. Give yourself some power back. If he doesn't contact you then you have your answer.

[Love07]

Thanks Mr Married.... it's exactly what I was thinking to do. Just over people wasting my time.

[bulrush]

Its now ben 24 hours and I still haven't heard from him. I know he's probably just sorting things out in his head.

First a 24 hour wait is nothing. Stop expecting instant gratification on everything. That's just ridiculous.

Next, text him once a day to show interest. If you don't show interest, he surely will be gone to find someone who does. He might have actually quite or gotten laid off and this can be hard on him. The first time I got laid off it was really hard on me and I blamed myself. Really, there was not much I could do.

[Gary Griffin]

Hi there, don't worry! He loves you honey, he is just being tensed about what's happening, also upcoming. I would suggest take a look at this site for some useful advice from professionals around the world, https://datingama.amafeed.com/

[Love07]

Thanks Gary, he eventually came around. He needed some time to himself, which I said thats perfectly fine, just tell me. Don't go quiet for three days as if I've done something wrong. He feels bad about it. But I can tell work is really bothering him. The good thing he has been offered a new job. So hopefully once he's resigned and start his new job, things should start to settle. I do want to be there for him, so doing my best to give him space and to also listen to him. I will check out that site you mention. Thanks again.

[bulrush]

Thanks Gary, he eventually came around. He needed some time to himself, which I said thats perfectly fine, just tell me. Don't go quiet for three days as if I've done something wrong.

It's ok to ask him if you did something wrong. Just don't assume you did something wrong, that is toxic thinking.

[ThisRandomDude]

I agree with Married. Take some power back, and allow him to contact you. If a week passes, and he doesn't, move on. Just my opinion.

[nadeoye]

There's something you should understand about the men folk.

Its not exactly easy expressing feelings. Its not "manly". It could be hardwork expressing your feelings and you need to understand that.

Sometimes a man needs sometime to pick himself back up. He cannot get that by talking. Talking only helps to bring out the self pity in him.

Yes while its good to talk, if what you talk about is mere feelings and disappointments as against real problems requiring solutions, it ultimately does no good to the male psyche.

Infact it makes it worse.