To text or not to text... & other ?

[lauren_gal25]

Ok, it's me again, the "to call or not to call" girl. Please read that previous thread for background if you are not one of those who remember. 2 ?s now:

1) This guy's BD is this Fri. He hasn't returned my call from 1 wk ago. I am stronger now & won't ever call him if he never calls back. But, I always like to remember people's BDs & at least send a text, b/c mine have sucked the past 3 yrs & I think they should be special. So, should I send him a text or not? Something like this: "Happy BD- hope you have a great one." I wouldn't expect or want him to call or anything, just want to wish him a good day. But how would a guy take that? Would it come across in a way I wouldn't want it to? Like that I miss him, need him, want him to call me, etc.? Don't want to send that message.

2) I fooled around with a guy 1 night last wk, someone I've become close friends over the past 2 mo's & there's always been sexual tension knowing he wants me more than friend. Last week I was lonely & sad & it was in the moment & didn't mean anything. He calls/texts as usual & I've talked to him briefly, but really have no desire to & don't care if I see him again anytime soon. Why am I reacting this way? Is it b/c he's lost his mystery to me? I don't want to use him as a salve for my hurt over another guy, & I wasn't that attracted to him in the 1st place and would never seriously date him. This happened 1 other time a few wks ago- 1 nite stand, except I am casually seeing that guy off & on now- he is more my type. But I reacted the same way initially- didn't want to see him for a wk or so.

I know I probably sound messed up... just going through a rough patch with guys like never before. Any advice would be appreciated

[toohot4pants]

i forget...how long has it been since last contact? new years? it's been a while. sending a BD text shouldn't hurt at all. if it were me, i probably wouldn't think anything of it except a nice gesture...nothing more.

as for your other sitch...i'm not sure. i don't think you should have fooled around with that guy. it's like leading him on. if he doens't know already, you need to tell him that it was a mistake and that you don't see him like that...that'd be the right thing to do, even if it does hurt him intially and even if it's not something you really want to do. you probably have no desire to see him again anytime soon because you never had any real interest in him and yet you let something happen...that's awkward. not sure about the other guy...

i think you might just be hung up on your last guy. seems like you're using random guys to fill a void.

[lauren_gal25]

i forget...how long has it been since last contact? new years? it's been a while. sending a BD text shouldn't hurt at all. if it were me, i probably wouldn't think anything of it except a nice gesture...nothing more.

i think you might just be hung up on your last guy...

Yeah, we talked almost 3 wks ago, then I called him 1 wk ago w/no response. Which is the only thing that makes me hesitate- does he not want to hear from me at all right now given he hasn't called back yet?

Yep, I do admit that. Trying not to do the rebound sex thing...

[toohot4pants]

Yeah, we talked almost 3 wks ago, then I called him 1 wk ago w/no response.

Yeah, it's rebound sex... never a good idea although fun in the moment. I'm pretty sure he knows that. He's the one who has helped me so much since the fling w/the above guy.

Thanks for the good advice.

rebound sex never really helped that much for me. i mean...it's fun doing it, but it's over soon enough. then, i'm right back in the rut...thinking thoughts about the girl i actually cared for that only confuse me or hurt me.

but you now...some of my freinds swear it helps immensely...gets their mind off the other girl for many many hours if not days or weeks. so i guess it depends on the person...

[lauren_gal25]

rebound sex never really helped that much for me. i mean...it's fun doing it, but it's over soon enough. then, i'm right back in the rut...thinking thoughts about the girl i actually cared for that only confuse me or hurt me.

but you now...some of my freinds swear it helps immensely...gets their mind off the other girl for many many hours if not days or weeks. so i guess it depends on the person...

Yeah...I think it's helped me some, but is only a short-term fix- gotta do other stuff to get over the real issue for sure. So... others' thoughts on the text ? Tone? I'm thinking no.