Guys dissing you around their friends

[sweetness17]

This is my first post, about something that happens to prolly every girl.

Theres a guy i like but i went out with one of his friends previously. We broke up about 2 months ago, we were together 1 1/2 months. I have known the guy since the end of august and have spent pretty much time hanging out with him, his friends and my friends. He didn't pay that much attention to me when i was going out with brandon but when we broke up it changed. He started washin my car for me. 4 washes, 1 waxin where he invited me over to his house to do it. He pays for the washes too. The other night it was only me, him and two of his friends. We talked alot. When me and him were left alone he flirted with me and sorta opened up talking about his past g/fs and his accident in his explorer. Later that night it was just me and his friends in the car and one of them goes to me your like shanes best friend. Im said that im not and that he was. He told me that thats only because im a girl and he relates to guys better. They were also teasin me asking if i made out with shane.
2 days later him and his friends were out and he ignored me the whole night which made me feel like a piece of shit. My ex was there thats why my friends said he dissed me. Im not sure if thats what it was and would like some imput. Hopefully someone else had a simular situation or will have that they can learn from.

[sfalexi]

I know my personal rule is never date a friend's ex. I keep it and my friends keep it. It keeps things (emotions) between my friends and I from getting complicated in any way.

[sweetness17]

i never dated one of my friends exs. Maybe you misunderstud.

[sfalexi]

Theres a guy i like but i went out with one of his friends previously.

And then later

My ex was there thats why my friends said he dissed me.

Not that you dated one of your friend's ex's - you like your ex's friend. So instead of you being the person dating the ex, the guy you like doesn't want to be that person (since you like him, but he's friends with your ex). Understand now?

[sweetness17]

Yeah. I don't really wanna go out with him right now anyway. I just don't wanna be ignored after he acted like he liked me. I wanna be friends for awhile, get to know him more, then maybe something will progress. Is that reasonable/possible? Thanks.

[BuzzLiteBeer]

alter-egos get the worst of people. i wouldn't make a girl I like look like a fool in front of anyone period.

[sfalexi]

Yeah. I don't really wanna go out with him right now anyway. I just don't wanna be ignored after he acted like he liked me. I wanna be friends for awhile, get to know him more, then maybe something will progress. Is that reasonable/possible? Thanks.

Maybe it is possible, but I doubt it. Seeing as you've dated this guys friend, I highly doubt that this new guy you like is going to take a chance on straining and possibly ruining his friendship cause you want to date him. If it were at all going to happen, it'd either happen WAY down the road, or he'd be taking a risk at losing his friend.

Guys don't like to see friends date their ex's. It's sort of an unwritten rule. That and close relatives (ie sisters and brothers). And as the saying goes, "Bros before hos" meaning to put your friends concerns and feelings above that of any girl that you wanna go out with. Cause girls come and go, but your friends will always be there.

If you REALLY want to date this guy, don't pressure him at all. Don't flirt heavily. Don't do anything like that. And if you're ever around him and his friends (meaning the one who's your ex), keep your hands off and be respectful to your ex. I'm sure he doesn't want to see you all over this guy.

Alexi

[Illusional]

Guys don't like to see friends date their ex's. It's sort of an unwritten rule.

to sfalexi: this is partially true. i think it more so depends on how close the two friends are and how the relationship with the ex gf is. if the guy and girl are on good terms and both the guy friends are tight, then i think a relationship between an ex and a friend is great. as for me, i feel that friendship is too great a thing to let a girl come between.

and as for sweetness17, i think that you should talk to your friend shane and find out what's really going on in his head. guys like to act tough infront of their other friends which is why they won't open up as much and which is why he gave you a lot of shit. talk to him and see if he really wants to start something and if he really cares. if he is going to act differently in front of his friends however, i suggest that you find someone else to get to know. raverboy