Should I let go, or hold out....?

[trying_to_fly]

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because she could not get over an issue from my past.

Over a year ago, I ended a relationship with a married woman that I was involved with. Being involved with her was the biggest mistake I made in my life. I regret every second of it. What made it worse was she became pregnant with what is believed to be my child. Again....This is not a topic to discuss my horrible mistake...I don't need to hear it because I already know it.

So a year later, I meet this incredible girl, whom I told everything up front before we started dating. This is not something I would want her to find out down the road. That is not fair to her. We had seperate apartments, but she was pretty much living here for the last month.

Last week she lost her job and is in the process of finding a new one. I know she is horribly stressed, but along side that, she became bothered by my past and how horrible it was for someone to do that, and the result being a child. She wouldn't be able to look at our kids without thinking about it.

She trusts me fully, and knows I would never go through hell like that again, but after a week of sadness she came to the realization that she would not be happy with me, so she left me this past Friday.We still talk. It's hard because we both love each other very much.and she hates to hurt me like this.I guess what I'm trying to figure out is

1. can I ever fix this 2. should I just give her space and see if she comes back to me 3. just let her go.. or any other possible option.... I'm just very hurt and confused and it kills me that a mistake I made in my past will not let me go on with my life. I've accepted it....why can't she? Will she ever?......

[yourmom202]

If it was me..I would be glad you told me from the start about all of it. And now she is really stressed and everything is bothering her. I would have a problem with you already having a kid...b/c I would want your first kid to be ours.

I would just keep talking to her..give her a little time. Be her friend...support her..I don't really know what else. Don't be all on her about getting back together. She is already stressed..she probably just doesn't want to worry about anything.

I don't really know both of you so I can't say for sure..but if you really love her just hang in there.

[trying_to_fly]

..but if you really love her just hang in there.

I agree with you fully. There's already been updates to the whole story. She has told everything to her husband and how the child is mine. He's obviously upset and it looks like they will split. (not that it should be a suprise). He told her she has to talk to me as to what we want to do about the child.

She doesn't really want me to have custody because he will be all she has. I understand that and can respect it and although this will require further thinking and discussion, be ok with that.

I agree about being there as a friend for Sandra. I do love her and maybe she will come around. Maybe she'll feel differently now that it is all out in the open. Thanks for your words and I try to stay optimistic that things will work out.

[Rosebud]

The biggest part here is you ahve accpeted what you've done in the past, whether right or wrong. Telling your ex girlfriend about that was a very good thing to do although some will say not to do that...but you were upfront and honest which is a very good thing.

If someone can't accept you for who are then that is their loss. You are you are and you can't change the past, so i take that as she couldn't accept you. I know all this hard and it even makes you feel worse about what happened.

I'm sure this was hard for her as well and she probably just had mixed emotions and din't know what to expect from you...right or worng, it's how she felt. So basically you have to continue your ways on this and just be upfront. If they can't accept you, they aren't worth it.

[trying_to_fly]

Yeah you're right Rosebud. If she can't accept it then there's nothing I can do. I said to her once that it hurts that her feelings for me were not strong enough to over power how she feels about my past. I know she is still very sad and not happy right now. So maybe she'll come around. I don't know. I'm just doing my best to give her space. I can only hope for the best.