Contacting an old flame

[Creatine]

A few years back (about 5 to be exact), I was dating this girl for several months. She lived about 2 hours away. We both had a lot of things in common and enjoyed each others company. During that time, I was more concerned about finishing my college degree. I felt that if I got into this relationship too much, it would distract me from school. I didn't have the heart to dump her, so for some **stupid** reason I began to ignore her calls. Eventually, I played the "disappearing act" on her. (I know, I should burn in hell for doing that). I guess I was young and was selfish with finishing school.

It's been over 5 years since we lost contact. One night out of being bored, I went to a website that posted lost friends. And to my shock (yes, you guessed it), she had posted a message looking for me. It read, "Tina would like to find a person named *my full name*. If anyone knows, please let me know. Thank you very much." At first, I wasn't convinced that the posting was for me, but after looking at her profile, everything matched up exactly.

I can't believe it's been over 5 years and she still remembers me? How wierd is that? One part of me wants to reply to that message, but really don't know if that's a wise decision or not. The other part of me feels really guilty for disappearing on her. What should I do?

[TAVS]

Go for it. But be prepared; maybe she thinks you're dead and when she finds out you ditched her; she'll want to kill you.

But If you liked her and really want to try again; don't hesitate.

[Creatine]

Thanks for the comment TAVS. Maybe she wants some closure as to why I disappeared on her? Then again, she probably wants me dead if I reply. LOL.

[blue]

dont do it!!!!

[dono]

Do it, do it, do it, do it!

[Sandman]

When I was 15 there was a girl I once dated, we lost contact and she in a stroke of luck 4 years later looked me up in the phone book. She was also looking for closure, but I gave her much more than that, and we stayed together for much longer after that.

[Gigabitch]

First of all... YOU ****ER!

That said, if Tina actually wants you back, she's mental. The reason she still remembers you after five years is that she's got a broken heart.

What's your motivation? Do you miss her? Are you planning to make it up to her? Or are you just morbidly fascinated by her apparent continuing interest?

[Creatine]

Hmmm, one person says to do it and another says not to. I'm starting to get confused. LOL.

My motive right now is to give her closure and come clean. I feel really bad for breaking her heart. I do miss her from time to time...and often wonder how she's doing.

[squirrley]

Thats a tuffy. She's looking for you? There has to be a reason behind it, my guess is to just catch up. But we warned. I was dumped in a similar fashion, hated him for years for it, but got over it. Actually would like to thank him for being OUT of my life.

Its not right you disappeared, HOWEVER, you may give her the closure she needs. but its your call, only you know whats right to do...goodluck

[Creatine]

Thanks for the feedback Squirrley. I've decided to go ahead and respond to her message...we'll see what happens from here...

[Gigabitch]

It's nice to know that it's possible for an Amazing Vanishing Man to have a conscience that bothers him.

Makes me optimistic about all of 'em.

[confused01]

hi dear
i always think of people i had a crach on sometimes, but never had the guts to contact any of them.
she probably still has something in her heart and she probably wants to know if it's true or false by contacting you and m&ybe dating you a while she'll find out what's going on in her heart
or she might want to vangence which means she might be really beautiful and she knows you'll probably like her and she might dump you the same way.
anyway it your decision to make, use both heart and brain to find out, you are the only one who knows what type of person she is and what she might be up to.
good luck

[Creatine]

UPDATE:

So I sent her an email the other day and immediately got a reply. Here's a little insert of her email:

"I AM SO HAPPY TO FIND YOU AGAIN. YEP I STILL LIVE IN *city*, LITTLE OLD TOWN. CALL ME ANY TIME, MY PHONE IS ON ALL THE TIME, HEHEHE. I AM DOING FINE. IF YOU DON'T MIND CALL ME *cell phone #* TO MEET AND KICK BACK SOMETIME. TAKE CARE"

I replied to her email and said I will call her this weekend. I'm not sure what to make of this, but will definitely be cautious and careful.

[gingersnaps]

I would have done what you did.

And it sounds like she just had a long-time sort of crush for you and wants to see if it might work out now.

That would be my guess but who knows. She is not sounding awfully crazy to me.

[xwfuro]

yep sounds like she is interested in giving it a second go round good luck man best wishes post progress