In love with someone I can't have...but have to deal with last weekends hook up

[leight69]

Ok - so last weekend, I randomly hooked up with someone I've known fow a few years (let's call her Amanda). We never exactly hung out alot, but know each other through an organization we both volunteer with and see each other at meetings and events. So yea when I saw her, she was telling me about her new house, I went and checked it out and instead we ended up shagging.

Thing is - as attracted as I am to Amanda, "I'm not that into her". She wants me to call (but our communications have only been over email - but she's said she'd like to give us a try).

Thing is, I'm actually "in love" - well "really care for" another friend of mine (Let's call her Beth). So on thursday I was supposed to call Amanda and hang out with her for a bit. But instead I called Beth and we hung out played some ultimate, went out for drinks and I stayed over (i slept on the couch) as we watched movies.

I know I can't have Beth - I can't even tell her how I feel without disrupting my friendship with her...and being ostrasized by our extensive circle of friends.

So now I'm sitting here scratching my head...do I try to "make a go of it" with Amanda - or should I deal with my issues with Beth before getting into anything with anyone?

Thoughts?

[confused01]

i'll choose the second one i guess

[Ellynn]

Choose the one you really want.... Otherwise its not fair to the one you aren't really into... And if the one you want turns you down......then find someone else that YOU ARE into.

[Gigabitch]

and being ostrasized by our extensive circle of friends.

Is Amanda in your circle of friends, too? You need to deal with the fact that you totally blew her off the other night before it gets around that you shagged her and then disrespected her that way. if Beth hears about it, she'll think you're a Pigman.

[leight69]

Is Amanda in your circle of friends, too? You need to deal with the fact that you totally blew her off the other night before it gets around that you shagged her and then disrespected her that way. if Beth hears about it, she'll think you're a Pigman.

1) Totally different cirlce of friends.

2) Ok here's a follow up question...I know I don't want to try things with Amanda. But do I tell her the real reason (that I care for Beth and that,s why i dont want to try it) or do I make up something else?

[Ellynn]

I wouldn't necessarily tell her about Beth. But I would just make it clear that you see her as a friend and thats it.

If you tell her about Beth....then word gets out. She's not in the same group of friends....but more then likely...Beth will find out about this....and it could turn ugly.

So keep quiet about that. But be honest with Amanda....about not wanting anything relationship wise with her.