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Thread: What can I do? Here's my problem.

  1. #1
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    What can I do? Here's my problem.

    Hello all, I'm an 18 year old male and I've been in a relationship for a little more than 2 years. I feel that I keep letting my girlfriend down whenever she is feeling sad or dissapointed. She says I can't tell when she's sad, but I can. The problem is I have no experience in comforting her.

    Recently she was sad because of our formal being ruined by countless mishaps. Dress was messed up, shoes killed her feet, limo was late etc. After all that we hoped to have some time to party afterward but instead she fell asleep until 4ish and she thought the night was wasted. In the morning I drove her to a local park to watch the sunrise and have some time together. She seemed to be happy, but in the afternoon she becomes upset.

    Is there anything I can say to comfort her in situations like these. I'm at a loss for words whenever she asks to make her happy. Are there any things I can say when in situations like these. I feel like I can't do anything for her. There doesn't seem like there are any signs of a break up, but if I continue not being able to comfort her then I am sure there will be.

    I really need some advice and tips on what to do in different situations. It'd be greatly appreciated.
    Last edited by emoticon; 29-05-06 at 08:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Ellynn's Avatar
    Ellynn is offline Love Gurus
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    First off, she cannot expect you to make her happy. You either do or you don't.

    She sounds like a moody person.. But you have to realize that you can only do so much to try. I mean you tried to make the best of your ruined night by a nice romantic sunrise by the beach. What else can you do? I mean you are making attempts it seems, and if its not good enough then she needs to be a bit more vocal about WHAT is upsetting her instead of making you play a guessing game.
    Appreciate the good times and learn from the bad times....


  3. #3
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    I guess so. But I just want to know how to comfort her, nice words to say. Just so I can make her smile even for a moment.

  4. #4
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    You are taking too much responsibility for her moods. People who are "happy" are not happy because everything runs perfectly; they are happy because they know how to look at life's little mishaps and see the things that DID go right, and they can laugh at the things that didn't. It's the whole "making lemonade out of lemons" thing...

    Your girl doesn't sound like a happy person, and you can't fix that.
    Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?

  5. #5
    Ellynn's Avatar
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    True, if she can't find that inner happiness....then NO ONE else is gonna make her happy!
    Appreciate the good times and learn from the bad times....


  6. #6
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    Sometimes comforting someone is all about just being there and listening to whats gotten them down. The simple process of being able to talk about things can help a lot.
    Holding her close and letting her know that you are there.

    I agree with Ellynn, your GF needs to be more verbal and let you know what the problems are. Only then will you know how you may be able to help her.

    Things like prom are typically stressful as everyones trying to look there best and they are a right of passage. So when things didn't go the way she wanted, it probably felt like one of her dreams was falling appart.

    HR.

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