Feeling Alone

[Fawn]

Note: This is a bit long. sorry.

I knew he had been ignoring me since I last talked to himm a few days ago. I knew that since he lost his job he's been feeling overwhelmed with problems.

In the past he opened his heart to a girl when he had the same problem (no job, etc.). But she lied to him, so he could never fully open himself to anyone again. Then I came along. We've only dated for 3 1/2 weeks now, but I opened myself to him and since I knew about his past gf, I knew he would take time to open up.

Then it happened again. Except this time he will not open his problems to me. No matter how much I talk to him.

So today, he decided to break-up with me. He said that he doesn't want to hurt me, if he has to leave and go back to his parents. He said that its going to be like starting over again, because he's going to have to rely on his parents and leave everything that he worked so hard for behind.

What he didn't realise was that I was already attached to him. I cared for him deeply. No, I was not in love, but I did care with all my heart. Now, I lie here along. Crying in Pain, because he meant a lot to me.

He said maybe in the future we will try this again. He says he still likes me and that we will just have to be friends for now.

Its hard to believe its over. I know eventually I will get over this and move on. It will take time though. Lots of time.

[IceQueen]

Yeah. Back when he tried to break up with you for the first time, I thought that he used that job thing as an excuse. Now he's using "I don't want to hurt you if I have to move back" as an excuse. That's not the true reason he wants to break up with you. I think the real reason is that he doesn't think you fit together. And it's not your fault that you don't. And not his. It's the basic incompatibility thing. You can both be excellent people and yet simply not click.

Back off. You can't be involved in a relationship with someone against his own will.

Besides, you should view yourself as a PRIZE. If he doesn't want you, he's majorly missing out, and someone else will surely swoop to take his place pretty soon (believe me, it'll take like a couple weeks for other guys to find out you're single and start swarming around you).

For now, enjoy your freedom.

If you need tips on how to get over a guy, you might want to look through my journal, I've posted a lot about it.

[Fawn]

There all excuses. He's afraid to come close to me. He keeps saying if it was earlier we met it might've been all different.

Your right though. I should consider myself as a "Prize." I just wish he knew what he was missing out on and what a great future we may have had together.

But, I will just have to try and move on. Today all I want to do is stay in bed, but my parents keep trying to motivate me. I guess there right, but its only the second day, so being alone sounds really good at the moment.

I will try and use some of your tips. I just wish these feelings will dissappear as fast as they came. But time will only tell.

[SazCam]

Hiya Fawn!

Please realise you are not alone. I know it's hard to be logical when you break up with someone. You go through moments of hating them for the pain they've caused you to moments of missing their company so badly you want to pick up the phone and beg them to come over.

I don't know if you feel like that. But you will begin to be motivated again soon, don't worry. As you said, it's time that heals and it's horrible to have to wait for your mind to come to terms with things. But it will.

And you deserve lots of happiness and someone who loves and supports you as much as you do them. Take as much time as you need...but you won't feel like this forever.

[Bboy Sayien-jin]

You know Fawn? From what you just explained sure sounded like love to me! But it's your feelings. Do what you think is necessary to help you go through your hard times.

Although I've never been in your ex's situation before, I can feel and understand what he's going through. Ever since his past gf lied to him, his heart has been torn. He's very insecure and he doesn't know if he can love again. A broken heart could last forever, it may be pushed aside, but you can never deny what you feel. He's still a bit attached to his gf even though he may not express it. I guess he's just very afraid that you might do what she did to him. Not only that he knows that he might hurt you by maybe someday accuse you of such act. Also it hurts when someone gives you their heart but you don't give yours to them or at least try to. This is when guilt begins to eat him inside. His emtions are very intense right now but deep inside he's greatly sorry for everything.

Maybe you already know about the things I mentioned above but I thought I'd point them out. It's not everything but it's the obvious.

All I can say is:

"There's always a chance to reunite with those we care for in our memories, for we are all connected."

[sfalexi]

Fawn,

I'm sorry, but how attached can you be with a guy you were dating for three weeks? I mean, you aren't in love, and you're going to mope around all day over some guy that you dated for three weeks and he tried in three weeks to break up with you twice? Doesn't sound like a situation that should make you feel so bad. I mean, how attached can you get in that short a time?

For future relationships, avoid getting attached until you see it's got a good chance of going somewhere. It sounds cold, but in my eyes the easiest way to get over someone is if you made sure you weren't really TOO into them in the first place.

Alexi

[IceQueen]

sfalexi.
he was her first.

[sfalexi]

I realize that. And that's precisely why I advocate waiting for someone that you feel will be a long-term relationship. Fawn advocated having sex with "someone she knows". And now, unfortunately, she has to deal with the repurcussions. To all who read, take heed.

Alexi - Who is a poet, but doesn't know it. And he makes a rhyme, most of the time.

[Fawn]

sfalexi- Yes I made the choice to have sex with him and even though we broke up I have no regrets about it and I never will.

Ice- You may not here this often around here, but you are a sweetheart, thank you.

Updates on the rest of it-
Its been a week and its nice that some of these stupid feelings are going away.

The only dissapointment I have is that Valentines day would have been 1 month. But, you know what. I'm just going to treat it like any other day.

Although I think its kinda funny, being single reminds me that I can flirt with whoever I want, whenever I want. So lately I've up'd my flirting. You never know, maybe there will be a new boy in town. lmao.

[sfalexi]

Fawn,

Never say never. You don't know what'll happen in the future. Likewise, I could save myself for that special girl, and sometime down the road regret that I didn't go out and get laid as much as possible when I was younger and single. I don't know how I'll feel in ten, twenty years.

Find a few friends who aren't in relationships and watch comedies or something all day. And pig out. It'd be loads of fun and 'misery loves company'. So there's nothing better than being dateless with a lot of other dateless people (been there done that, and it's much better than be dateless alone).

Alexi

BTW, have fun flirting. I do. It's fun as hell!

[IceQueen]

Nah, if she doesn't regret it *now*, I'm pretty sure she *never* will... that's just the way it works

Fawn, I think you're starting to get over him already! Congratulations