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Thread: Do i try to steal her away from current b/f?

  1. #1
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    Do i try to steal her away from current b/f?

    Hi all... I'm looking for some female opinions on a current problem I have with a love interest.

    The deal is I'm in my early 20's, and have worked in retail part-time with this girl for a couple of years now. Towards the end of last year we went out a couple of times as friends, and at work we would flirt pretty openly during this time. Then she went on holidays, and I then went on holidays and we barely saw anything of each other for a couple of months.

    The upshot was, when I got back from my holidays, she had found herself a boyfriend. From that point she became a lot more reserved when in my presence at work, and the flirting stopped. She'd even talk to me less as a friend for a while, but we eventually got to speaking more often again. I even trusted her enough to let her know that I was recovering from a diagnosed depression a couple of months back.

    Anyway, issue is that over the past few weeks, she has begun to flirt with me at work a lot more. A two weeks ago she asked me if I'd like to go some stuff with her outside work again, and we've done things together a couple of times since. Only problem is that she still has this same boyfriend in her life, now for the past 6 months. She has not really had a serious bf before, and I fear she may be the type of girl who could settle in for a long relationship with a guy well below what she deserves.

    We get along great when together, and I really think that she is something special.

    What do I do?

    Should I attempt to confront her with my feelings about her, OR just work to become her friend and hope eventually that I'm there to help pick up the pieces when the guy shes currently with eventually screws things up with her? I've never been the sort to move in on another guys relationship, but have been screwed over by guys doing that to me. Is the adage that nice guys finish last true, and should I try just to take advantage of the fact she may be getting bored with her boyfriend by making a move on her?

    Also, maybe I'm completely misreading the situation...
    Is she asking me to do things with her again because she is bored with the guy she has, or is it more likely because she feels sorry for me (a guy recovering from depression)?

  2. #2
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    It's a dog eat dog world. I'm not saying go out of your way to steal this girl but lets face it, people cannot be stolen because they aren't objects. If you like her, spend time with her, do things with her, show her how fun you really are. She may find that she has more in common with you than the guy she is with and is up for a change. Confessing your feelings may drive her away before you have her sufficiently hooked, so be careful about that.
    There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.

  3. #3
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    You should ask her for clarification. You need to know what's going on and she needs to know that she's blurring the lines. It might be an uncomfortable conversation to have, but I think you should have it.

    Maybe at some point you could say, "Why, oh why do you have to have a boyfriend? We would be such a good couple!"

    And be warned, working with your SO isn't easy. Think it through before you make a move.
    Spammer Spanker

  4. #4
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    To be honest, I despise guys like this. If a guy knew my gf was in a relationship and he tried to "steal" her away, I'd be insanely pissed and me and the guy would be having some words. Wait for her to be single. If they aren't meant to be together then they will break up in time.

  5. #5
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    Well I think you should wait it out. Consider the possibility of you sharing your feelings and her telling you the opposite of what you want to hear. Not only will it make you miserable but it will make it awkward between you guys. If she does confess she likes you she will have to go through the trouble of breaking up with her boyfriend and that would after some time may make her a little emotionally unstable. However, this really depends on how much she likes her boyfriend. It's your call of course, but I would wait it out. Chances are she won't be with him forever.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cain View Post
    To be honest, I despise guys like this. If a guy knew my gf was in a relationship and he tried to "steal" her away, I'd be insanely pissed and me and the guy would be having some words. Wait for her to be single. If they aren't meant to be together then they will break up in time.
    Couldn't agree more.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    Something went terribly wrong

  7. #7
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    Lots of other women out there.

    Besides... if she can be "stolen" from him, then she can be stolen from you. Best not to tread in those waters.
    There are some things you just can't explain with the word... fate. You're just going to have to see it with your own eyes.
    - Taura

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