Girlfriend's bull excuse advise from anyone

[snap1nyc]

I'll try to make to this short as possible sorry if this to damn long,

It all started out with my father telling my gf that that a child that comes from a divorced family is more then likely to be divorced from his/her first marriage, I admit it wasn't right but my father is european and very old school, so for about 3 months she has been avoiding coming over my house, and her excuse was I just feel weird being in your house, I didnt know that she had this convo with my father, I went to the store so she stayed with my parents ,I recently found that out because I asked her like wtf is my houses haunted? and she finally tells me about this divorce thing my fathers says to her, she said she didnt wanna tell me what my father told me because she didnt want me to pick over her and my father, full of bs I think. I have had a problem with her step brother and almost got into a fist fight over him yelling at her and calling her names so as a bf i was defending her, and to be honest i was uncomfortable going over her house but I still did it for her cause I love her. So I told her my father meant no harm by it and I spoke to him about it, mind you this is a girl I've been with for about 3yrs, any advice?

[Mathias]

Um, wow.

I'm just going to bookmark and listen here. I have no idea. But, I wish you the best, man. That blows for both of you.

[vashti]

While what your father said is statistically true, it was rude for him to say it to her. Does he not approve of her?

Anyway, this is the thing: if you all are planning to eventually be married, it is in your best interest to BOTH be working towards having the other's family like and accept you. Sometimes people just say stupid things. Your father no doubt loves you, and wants what is best for you, and the idea of an increased risk of divorce is probably worrying him. Your girlfriend, while understandably upset, needs to come to the realization that what your father did was done out of concern for you. As such, she needs to try to overlook it. It might help if you could get your dad to apologize, but even if he won't, she should overlook the comment.

Also, YOU need to work on patching things up with her brother. Depending on their ages, siblings argue *all the time*, and since you objected to his calling her names, he is unlikely to do it again in your presence.

Trust me when I say it is much better to be in good with your S/O's family than to be fighting with them. You both just need to learn how to not hold a grudge.

You know, I have a really weird mother who says outrageous things all the time. My husband and one of my brothers-in-law thinks it is hysterical. Two other brothers-in-law allow themselves to take things personally and get offended. The two that can laugh about it are infinitely more appreciated by everyone.

[FallingHeart]

snap -
That's a hard one. It seems a lot of times, we all get comfortable with our own families and have a hard time adjusting to others. She probably does feel uncomfortable, but explain to her that you won't leave her alone with your parents (at least for a while) and you'll be there to defend anything that might be offensive.

Now, between you and i, I don't think that what your father said was all THAT offensive. I've heard that before, and with divorce rates now days, it's more rare that people DO stay married. Just tell her something sweet, like, you two can prove that theory wrong. =) She'll get over it, don't worry. Just be there for her, even if you don't get it.

[nuttybuddy]

I'll admit, it was kinda rude of your father to say that to your gf when you weren't there. But you gotta admit, he's only looking out for your back. And maybe your father just wanted to hear from her own lips that she's not going to be another statistic of divorce. Maybe he wanted to hear from her some kind of proof that she was willing to stay married to you no matter what.

I donno if you guys are engaged or if you are even planning to.
But try to ameliorate things. Defending your gf from her name calling bro seems chivalrous, but it also sounds like the gf's bro is immature. and for you to participate in the immaturity makes me even wonder if you and your gf are mature enough to think about marriage.

[Gigabitch]

I suspect there's more to it than just the divorce comment. That seems extreme.

Can you talk to your parents about it?

[bcarroll03]

she could just be full of crap and is using the divorce story as a cover. You need to look deeper into this.

[Only-virgins]

Your girl gets offended way to easily. How annoying for you. Sorry. She wouldn't last 5 seconds with my old fashioned Polish dad.