I really need some different perspectives..

[just_ducky]

Okay, I'm going to put it all out here.. I'm 27, and I am still a virgin.. I've had oppertunities to lose my virginity, but I never .. well.. took them.. A few times I just wasn't attracted to the person, and a few times I just felt that my feelings for them weren't strong enough. At least one of those times was with someone who flat out told me that he was working on being my first.. that he liked virgins because they were "tight".. Now, I'm not afraid of sex.. I do things to make myself happy, if you get my drift.. I just, really hoped my first time would be with someone who wanted ME.. not just, and forgive me for being blunt, a c*m dumpster... I know of one person who I'm semi familiar with who would have sex with me if the goal was just to pop the cherry.. I respect him, I trust him mostly.. and because of his veiws on relationships I know that it would only be a friends with benefits situation.. I've heard that the older a woman gets, the more creepy virginity seems, and I'm afraid that would rob me of any chance of a good, and loving relationship.. Should I just, go for it with my friend. The longer it's taking for "Mister right" to come along, the more obvious it's becoming to me that he never will.. Some thoughts would be appreciated..

[sine24]

wouldn't you rather do it with someone you loved at least a little, rather than a friend a.k.a someone you're just "semi-familiar" with?

[Gigabitch]

You've waited this long, why not make it have been worth the wait?

[BVSensation27]

Don't do it! Seriously friends with benefits is a bad idea because feelings get involve and it's a big mess, especially for girls. I would totally wait for a guy who is willing to get to know you and not just inside your pants. Losing your virginity is a pretty big deal because it is something that you cannot take back once it's gone, especially if he screws you over...

[Junket]

Losing your virginity is a pretty big deal because it is something that you cannot take back once it's gone, especially if he screws you over...

Virginity is only a big deal if you make it one.

Virginity is a stupid and archaic concept.

[BVSensation27]

Virginity is only a big deal if you make it one.

Virginity is a stupid and archaic concept.

That is true, but for a female (some of them) point of view it is a big deal. Guy just stick that shit in and go -- it's like a hit and run. Females are pretty emotional when it comes to losing their virginity. It's like apart of them and who they are.

[just_ducky]

I'd LOVE to wait.. I'd love to have my first time be with someone who actually does love me, but.. the older I get the less likely it seems that that'll happen for me.. I've even heard from some people that men automatically assume there's something wrong with you, or are even put off if they find out you're still a virgin late into your 20's or early into your 30's.. I don't think my difficulty is in the looks department, and I have a sort immature reason for that.. I've seen women who are not quite what people would consider gifted in that way (if you get my point), who are in loving, commited relationships with people that I would consider pretty darn attractive.. It's silly.. but I think to myself that it's possible I could go my whole life and never know what it feels like to have that kind of closeness.. to love someone that much.. and be loved back.. I guess it's mostly fear.. stupid as it seems..

[Junket]

Females are pretty emotional when it comes to losing their virginity. It's like apart of them and who they are.

They're emotional because they were raised to be emotional about it. We've applied such a ridiculous value on the lack of experience. And don't give me the bullshit that guys just stick it in and go. There's plenty of guys that add the same kind of value to naivety.

[vashti]

Are you engaged in activities in which you associate with lots of other single people? Because it seems to me that meeting the right person should be a priority.

I am sorry to say that I think at some point, virginity CAN be a liability. People begin to believe (whether they are right or wrong) that you have intimacy issues if you are too far outside the average. Are you sure you aren't expecting too much out of men? Some people have very unreal expectations.

[BVSensation27]

They're emotional because they were raised to be emotional about it. We've applied such a ridiculous value on the lack of experience. And don't give me the bullshit that guys just stick it in and go. There's plenty of guys that add the same kind of value to naivety.

Yes, there are a few guys out there that have that value. Not all guys are bad, but from where I'm from it's just different. Most girls are always going to be hesitant on their first time, I know I was when I was a teenager.

[BVSensation27]

I'd LOVE to wait.. I'd love to have my first time be with someone who actually does love me, but.. the older I get the less likely it seems that that'll happen for me.. I've even heard from some people that men automatically assume there's something wrong with you, or are even put off if they find out you're still a virgin late into your 20's or early into your 30's.. I don't think my difficulty is in the looks department, and I have a sort immature reason for that.. I've seen women who are not quite what people would consider gifted in that way (if you get my point), who are in loving, commited relationships with people that I would consider pretty darn attractive.. It's silly.. but I think to myself that it's possible I could go my whole life and never know what it feels like to have that kind of closeness.. to love someone that much.. and be loved back.. I guess it's mostly fear.. stupid as it seems..

Well good luck to you Ducky, I'm sure that a man will come into your life and love you for who you are. Just take it as it comes...

[Junket]

Her problem isn't her virginity.

In fact, that's just a symptom of the fact she's not doing well in the dating world.

So really, this thread has little to do with sex, and more to do with sucking at finding somebody to love.

[BVSensation27]

Her problem isn't her virginity.

In fact, that's just a symptom of the fact she's not doing well in the dating world.

So really, this thread has little to do with sex, and more to do with sucking at finding somebody to love.

well.. there you have it!

[just_ducky]

Her problem isn't her virginity.

In fact, that's just a symptom of the fact she's not doing well in the dating world.

So really, this thread has little to do with sex, and more to do with sucking at finding somebody to love.

I suppose the only response I have is if you haven't got anything constructive to say, why respond at all? There are TONS and TONS of posts on this site you can lend your special blend of "wisdom" to... Why this one? Why waste your time?

[Junket]

I suppose the only response I have is if you haven't got anything constructive to say, why respond at all? There are TONS and TONS of posts on this site you can lend your special blend of "wisdom" to... Why this one? Why waste your time?

Because:

I really need some different perspectives..

Were you looking for something to better suit your "needs"?

You didn't even ask a specific question, you just asked for some thoughts.

Now, would you like to be more specific?