two sides of her

[Wehant]

Hello, I must say that I am in a bind.

About a month ago I met a girl through a friend. We talked that night for about an hour before I had to go home. The next day, I was shocked to find her pop-up on my MSN. Apparently she asked my friend for my contact information and voila, flamenco, there she is on my MSN. We chatted up and went on a date that next Thursday. The date ran smoothly, we went to a live show and then to a lounge which we both frequent. At the end of the night there was a "kissing" session. We didn't see each other again until this past Thursday (for many reasons). Now here is where the bind begins. I'll try my best to breakdown the events of the past 3 days and hopefully you can shed some insight into the situation.

On Thursday I went to pick her up. When she comes into my car we both kiss. We go back to the lounge and she seems a bit withdrawn. We both know a lot of people at that lounge. She's almost icy. We leave the lounge at 3 AM and get back into my car. As soon as I put the key in the ignition, she jumps me.

On Friday, we go watch the hockey game. She's somewhat distant. After the game we go to a restaurant where some of my friends are at for a birthday. At the restaurant, she's very touchy-feely. Kissing me, nibbling on my neck, dancing with me et al. We leave the restaurant to go to the lounge, but before that she (again) jumps me in the car.

We get to the lounge and voila, the "other" her kicks in. I'm now on the outside looking in. She, yes, hangs around me but is quite cool and calm (for the record: I am not looking to engage in a wild make-out session at a club). We leave the place at closing and, you know where this is going, she jumps me in the car again. As I drive her home, she spends the ride nibbling at me, and kissing me. I park in front of her home, and boom, she jumps me again.

Last night I happen to be in the neighbourhood of the lounge and pass by. She shows up, says hello to me and is visibly around me at all times, but is once again distant. Because she came with her friends and I was livid at this treatment once more, I got up and left. She has a ride home already.

Why does this treatment bother me? I don't know if I'm abnormal or not, but a few years ago I got out of a relationship with a girl that I was butt crazy in love with (and it took me a few years to get over it). The whole relationship was like that, except replace lounge with "greek community". Everytime we went to a community function, I was but an accessory (I'm a different ethnicity) to her. Outside those functions, she was a doll. I feel like I'm going through that again (albeit on a much smaller scale).

Anyhoo, just a few more points;

she's 21

I'm 28.

She passes the "Carlito's way" test. You know, open the car door for her and as I walk across the car see if she opens my door. She does so, without any hesitation.

I ask because;

A) I am not good with women at all, its very hard for me to meet someone.

B) I'm contemplating just cutting her out. I don't like the treatment I receive at the lounge, however the good sides of her are very hard to resist.

C) Physically, she is beyond adorable and sexy.

Is this behaviour normal?

Wehant

[Gigabitch]

Well, if it weren't for the touchy-feely behavior in the restaurant, it would seem that she just knows how to comport her self in public. How much was she drinking at the restaurant? it's possible she got a little tipsy and acted out of character.

I think you should give it some time. She's got enough going for her that you can stand a little bit of confusion.

[IndiReloaded]

Agree w/Giga. She may just be restrained in public. Or schitz, but you'll need to date her more to find out.

FYI, most guys would be ecstatic to find a 'lady on the street/freak in the bed' type.

But I'm a bit concerned at how early in your dating she showed this behaviour. Its not typical for the type I describe to be this aggressive this early on, unless they are older/very experienced.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe his car has the "pussy magnet" installed, like in Borat.

[squirrley]

Agreed. She may just not like being all mushy in public. I wouldnt read too much into it right yet.