Why does life have to be so complicated?

[coolgohan]

Well.. this is another best friend issue that I saw someone else have on another thread, but I'm afraid its much more complicated than that..

We are pretty much best friends even though we met in like December 07. We see each other almost everyday.. and we talk about anything we want to. We feel very comfortable with each other and everything is going great..well almost great. The first time I saw her.. I fell in love.. BUT because she has a bf we just became very good friends.. I was hoping I could resist these crazy feelings I have for her.. but as time passed it only got harder.. All I ever think about is her..There is no doubt that I love her.. but can someone resist love? haha I remember asking her that and she said "No" haha..irony..

The closer she gets to me the more it hurts when she leaves back to his house(and she never tells him about me, saying because he worries too much)(And for those who are thinking "how does this bf not notice his gf gone like every other day?" well the thing is.. is that he works like 24/7). I think we crossed the border in our friendship.. or it must be one affectionate friendship.. I mean we hug so much that I lose track .. we give each other massages.. we even sleep together(not sex) and cuddle..Just yesterday in the pool, we were holding each other and stroking each other for like an hour.. And as much as I love being with her.. I fear I'm just digging a deeper hole for myself..

Sometimes I feel like I'm being used or something.. I think she "thinks" she loves him because they've been together for 3 years.. so I don't think leaving him has even crossed her mind.. well it probably did.. but I don't think she would do it on the account of she really cares about other people's feelings.. but I also think the reason she comes to me is because she is not getting enough of love from him.. so she comes to me for it..
well I'm sure you know to what question this is all leading up to..Do I tell her..? and take the chance of maybe ruining our friendship. Or should I try to be more distant? Which will bring lots of pain...

[vashti]

This isn't really a friendship, is it? Friends are not for romance. Would you want your girlfriend to have a secret "friend" like you?

I think you should tell her how you feel, and tell her you want her to leave her boyfriend so you can date her properly. If she says no, then at least you will know you should move on. The longer you drag this out, the worse it will be for you in the end.

[Gigabitch]

Vashti's right- you have stepped waaaaay over the line with this girl. You need to back up about ten steps and tell her flat out you're falling for her and you don't want to be messing around with someone who has a boyfriend.

Then make yourself mostly unavailable to her. If he works 24/7, he's neglecting her, and she'll definitely miss you.

DO NOT take her back until she breaks up with him.

[thefallenheart]

someone works all the time to put food on the table and a roof overhead and you take advantage of this with his dearest? HOW DARE YOU!!!

[coolgohan]

thanks for the advice.. I still need to think about this.. and I'm not taking advantage lol... she is 18 he is 18 I am 18.. we are all seniors.. He just loves his work (bowling stuff)

[Junket]

Do I tell her..? and take the chance of maybe ruining our friendship.

Does anybody here see a friendship?

Anybody?

Yeah, me neither.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe the kind of friendship OV feels for Misombra....

[Mish]

Why does life have to be so complicated?

Cause it would be too boring otherwise. What motivation would you have to change and learn?

[IndiReloaded]

someone works all the time to put food on the table and a roof overhead and you take advantage of this with his dearest? HOW DARE YOU!!!

I agree with the sentiment of this^.

But, noone needs to work 24/7 to live these days. If they feel they must, then they have chosen their work over their relationship. Anyone in such a relationship must feel neglected.

Not that excuses anything, but it does put it in some context. Nothing happens in a vacuum.

If her BF is neglecting her for work, she should tell him that & give him the chance to change if he cares about her. If she wants to break up w/him for you, she should tell him that too.

But right now, you need to step back from both of them. The choice is hers to make, not yours. Right now, you are an intruder someplace you have no business being. Your choice is to wait for her if you wish, but she doesn't owe you anything. This is not friendship, you're not fooling anyone except maybe yourself.

[CAM]

Agree with Giga, et alia.

Ultimately, it is the boyfriend's fault. You don't take care of things at home, some girls wander. He needs to give her some of his time. He is all interested in bowling? WTF

[coolgohan]

I agree with all of u... thanks for the input, I'm sure stepping back is the right thing to do.. but u have no idea how hard that is... when u feel the way I do.. as if almost like shes "the one" or something.. it hurts already even though I haven't even created a bubble around me yet.. :/ sometimes I get the crazy idea of keeping everything the way it is and get tortured in pain just to be with her.. :/

[1averagejoe]

Ask yourself how you would like your girlfriend (if you had one) doing this with some other guy? Whether or not the guy works 24/7 there's no excuse to take things to the level you guys took it. Would you do the stuff you do with her in front of him? I see this as cheating. If she's not satisfied with him then she should break up with him. If she'll do it to him, don't be surprised if she does it to you in the future. I personally think it's selfish on both you and her part. Just because you feel like you're in pain because you think you love her isn't an excuse. Ask yourself what he's going to feel if he finds out what you were doing with her...probably a hell of a lot worse than what you're feeling now.

Listen to what everyone else said, back off and if you do want to pursue a relationship with her tell her that you want her to break up with him. And friends don't cuddle and hold hands. Think of it like this, if you wouldn't do it to a guy then you're probably more than just friends, lol.

*WARNING*Most teenage females = scary and not quite attached to reality*WARNING*