totally heartbroken... need some mature advice...

[LuvSickStagger]

Hey everyone, it's been quite a while since I've been on here, but I got a problem I could really use some support and advice with. I really apologize for the long post.
So a little over 3 months ago, I was totally happy with my situation being single, when I randomly meet this girl on the internet. We started emails back and forth and then moved up to talking on the phone... pretty soon we were talking multiple times a day and totally falling for each other, sight unseen. We have a lot in common yet we also have a lot of little differences that compliment each other perfectly.
A little about her... she's the same age as me (27.) She's divorced with two kids, one from her marriage and one from when she was in high school. She has kind of a rough past, she's been hurt quite a few times. Her ex husband wasn't really nice to her either.
Neither of us was looking for a serious relationship when we got into this, but sometimes you just can't help falling in love.
So, we talk on the phone daily for about a month and a half before we decide we should meet. She lives a few hours away and she decided to buy me a bus ticket to see her. Another couple weeks go by and the day comes when I get on a bus and head south. We totally hit it off and have an amazing weekend together. I totally fall in love with the kids and my thoughts of her are confirmed. I start to feel like I've found my soulmate and have feeling I've never felt before in any relationships I've ever had.
After I got home from that weekend, we both have this incredible feeling of missing each other. Our original plan was not to rush into anything, but now I decide that I want to move to be closer to her. She expresses her concerns about me giving up my life here and I assure her that it's ok, we need to make sacrifices to make this work. I start making my plans to take care of things before I leave.
Another month goes by and things get pretty intense. She tells me that she couldn't picture her future without me, that she's been waiting her whole life to meet someone like me. I pretty much feel the same way.
She and the kids get bus tickets up to spend 4 days with me because I'm producing a concert and she wanted to be there to support me. The first couple days go by and things are wonderful and amazing. On the third day, I notice her mood changing a bit. I get up the nerve to ask her what's wrong and she says that all the big things are there, her feelings for me are strong, she thinks I'm an incredible person and that I'm great with her kids... but, there are some small things that are bothering her. Things like me eating meat when she's a vegetarian and forgetting to tip the girl we got pizza from (behind the counter, not delivery.) She says she's not breaking up with me and that she feels like I'm so perfect that she has to find things to be upset with and it's confusing her. She still seems pretty bothered as she gets on the bus to go home. (her older son, 10, also told me he loved me as he got on the bus)
The next day I give her a call, ask her how the bus ride was... etc... after a bit of small talk she tells me she's stayed up all night thinking and that she felt like she couldn't do this anymore... we talk for quite a while and I totally express how I feel to her. She says she's going through a lot and she has a lot of thinking to do... I tell her that I've never felt this way about anyone and that I can't force her to be with me. Her ex husband is having a pretty hard time dealing with the fact that she's moving forward. Even though he's not really nice to her, she feels she needs to help him get through it, which is totally fine with me.
We still talk on the phone every day. I'm pretty sure she has the same feelings for me as I do for her. Yesterday she told me that she's trying really hard not to miss me because it will hold her back from the things she needs to do in her life.
Every morning I wake up missing her intensely. I think about her just about every moment. I still feel I want to move to be closer to her because right now I just feel totally lost without her... I also don't want her to have to miss me.
I want to do something to prove to her my feelings. You know, like something totally romantic in the movies?!? I have never in my life been so determined to win someone over.
Anyway, like I said, before I met her I was totally happy. Now I'm just completely lost and I don't know what to do. I don't want to go through life knowing that there's someone like her out there that I can't be close to.

[misombra]

well, you guys got into it right away. not too many people pick up and conglomerate lives after knowing each other for a weekend.

you cannot love someone after knowing them for a weekend. you don't know her and it's obvious that she realized that she doesn't know you. you may have spoken on the phone and all that, but that's not the same at all.

i'm sure you care about this person, but she is not ready. you are going to fast for her. wanting to keep visiting is cool, but wanting to move in right away is no good.

if you're 27 and you're able to just pick up and leave, i would say you should focus on your own future. Or move somewhere fun near a beach or something.

[lastwish]

She lives a few hours away and she decided to buy me a bus ticket to see her.

You need her to buy you a bus ticket? How broke are you?

She has two kids to take care of. Perhaps she wants to think things over like if you are a father potential. Can you support the family? Can you take care of her and the kids? Being a musician can make things difficult.

[ExpoNovak]

She just got out of a marriage and when she did, she got the "divorce itch". The divorce itch is simply a condition some people get of extreme elation after a divorce when it hits them that they are finally free. They are free to be with and date WHOMEVER they so please. Some people sleep around like mad for a while, some people just want to date different people for the thrill of being out with someone, anyone, other than the dreaded ex spouse.

Problems arise when someone with divorce itch falls HARD for somebody if divorce itch hasn't run its course. Uh-Oh. Now she's realizing "Hey, I really really really like this guy. I could be with him, spend the rest of my life with him..yada yada.." and then it dawns on her that her time to remain free may very well be running out. So she backs off for a while. She knows she has you and that you aren't going anywhere, so she is going to take some time to either evaulate if this relationship is worth giving up her freedom, or date/sleep with a few more people before fully committing to you.

She may also be thinking of backing off for the kids sake. I imagine its pretty crappy to let your kids get very attached to someone unless that person is going to be a stable part of their lives for a while.

I'm with the poster above, why on earth did a single mother of 2 have to buy your bus ticket??