Blast from the Past

[pantherbuck]

Somebody please help me with.

There was a girl in High School that I was very good friends with. We hung out, went to dances together and talked every night. You would have thought we were boyfriend/girlfriend, but I played games and although I think she knew, I never truly told her how I felt. Sadly we drifted apart after high school and I always felt that if I hung in there with her or had at least opened up about my fellings we would have made a couple. As the years have gone by I would still think about her occasionally but would always push her to the back of my mind. So three weeks ago, nearly 15 years after I last talked to this girl, for no apparent reason, the thoughts of her came ROARING back into my mind. She is all I think about now. I can't even sleep at night. Last week I finally had the courage to contact her on myspace. I didnt know what to expect but I got a great response from her and we have been trading emails and talking to her again feels as comfortable as an old pair of jeans. It is the most natural conversation I have ever had with anyone just as it was in High School. The problem is we are now both married, living on opposite ends of the country. I really do love my wife very much and I know she loves her husband. Our conversations have been nothing more than small talk and cathing up on each others lives. But I want to know why now, years later the thoughts and feelings I had for her are rushing back. I feel I am only tormenting myself because I know nothing will come out of this, but yet I dont want to lose whatever relationship we have. Someone please straighten me out.

[misombra]

so you're married, but you decided to get back in touch with a married woman that you had feelings for 15 years ago?

::SLAP::

are you straightened out now?

[lesa]

We are exhilarated by our curiousities. I think it is normal. I also believe it is the reason many people do not keep contact with past relationships that ended well. We always wonder the "what if" and when we find contact again many years later the postive and infatuated thoughts flood our mind. It happens even in stable, happy marriages that fell in a rut. It especially happens after years of being in a long-term and unsatisfying relationship.

Renewing strong erotic feelings and affections to our partners will neutralize an infatuation. If it does not then that means there are issues in the current relationship that need to be solved.

[angeli]

Maybe you just miss the times you were together that's why you are having those feelings. You can't deny that you had something and, the time when you drifted apart, there wasn't any closure between the both of you. Maybe you just want to continue the friendship between the both of you.

I know the feeling might be scary but just be honest and if you really love your family now then there isn't anything to really worry about..

[Gigabitch]

This will fade. You're having a thrill, and as long as you keep yourself in check, you should be okay, but make sure you don't pursue this to the point that it becomes an emotional affair.

You know the difference between right and wrong. Apply it to yourself and you'll be fine.

[pantherbuck]

Thanks for the help. my question now is should I let it be known to her how I have felt for her but make her realize I know this can't go anywhere, but I needed to tell her if for no other reason than to get it off my chest so I can have some sense of closure?

[lesa]

Yes, I think it is okay to tell her how you feel but you are happy in your current relationship and want no change. I think there is no need to tell the wife.

I told a man that I once had a relationship with that although I find him very attractive and I cherish the memories there can be NO relationship EVER between us two because I am in a happy relationship and that I wish him well (wow, he was very attractive...but I digress, lol).

I always say that life is an adventure. I love living it. Great memories but move on.