I feel like I'm not important to him

[Spring Haze]

I've been dating this guy for two months now, and I really like him, but I'm thinking of calling it quits because I feel like I'm on the back burner. Let me make it clear that he does not want a girlfriend in his life right now because he is not emotionally available. He recently got out of a serious relationship.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable, let me know...
When we have sex, he's always the one to get off and I never am. He seldom tries to get me off. I feel that sex should please both partners, and if one doesn't feel satisfied, it's up to the other to do something about it. After he's finished, 90% of the time he either leaves the room immediately, gets dressed, or goes online.

The other night we went out to dinner and to see a movie he chose. I didn't mind this. So we get back to his house and he said he had a lot of things to do, so I couldn't come in. I asked if I could for just ten minutes, he said no. After I had the courtesy to see a movie I wasn't interested in, he refuses to let me in for a short time.

He asked me when he'd see me again, and I said what about tomorrow? He said he works. Then the next day I text him, asking him how he's doing and he said that the schedule got mixed up, and he had today off. He was glad because he got to do laundry and other things around the house, and shopping. Now this is where I'm unsure if I'm being unreasonable since I'm not his girlfriend... He knew I wanted to do something that day, so why didn't he tell me he didn't work? I feel like getting things done around the house is more important than I am. He also didn't ask me how I was doing when I texted him.

I also asked about Friday doing something, and told him to tell me when he works. Well it's Friday now, and still no answer. I feel like he calls all the shots. He used to text me 10+ times a day, now I barely even hear from him.

His behavior toward me is really starting to get me down.

Should I tell him it's over or am I being hypersensitive?

[GrkScorp]

Let me make it clear that he does not want a girlfriend in his life right now because he is not emotionally available. He recently got out of a serious relationship.

First of all.., let me just say this.., if a guy is not emotionally available.., he's in his house crying like a little girl.., if there are words coming out of his mouth.., he's emotionally available.., I hate it when women fall for this bullsh*t.., "i'm not emotionally available.., but what are you doing on ____.., come in.., you haven't seen my place.., blah blah.."

Look.., you've landed across someone who is:

1. Immature
2. Insecure
3. Insensitive

As a guy.., there's just no justification in the world for putting a woman through this.., it's just unfair.., you're not being unreasonable.., you're being an idiot..

This guy is not looking for anything serious in his life right now.., no relationship.., to him.., you're probably not even a friend.., you're just a meatbag with a hole in it.., you're a fcuk-buddy.., and nothing more.., why?

Because if you were more than a fcuk-buddy.., where it would show.., is.., (not in the calls or texts.., not in the little things he would do for you.., not in any of that chick stuff).., where it would show.., is during sex.., if you matter to him.., if you are more than "just sex" to him.., then he will feel the need and urge on his own.., to make you feel great.., and literally spend hours there pleasing you.., over and over again.., because that's what he'll want to do..

And now that you know that.., now that you know exactly where you stand and what you are in this guy's life.., you can.., on your own.., choose what you want to go ahead and do now..

Best,

GrkScorp

[Cain]

I'm glad you posted that, Grk, because I was about to say the same thing.

You're nothing to him. You're a piece of ass... and it's obvious by the fact that he's ready to leave right when he gets off. It's obvious when he doesn't care enough to do little romantic things for you.

The only place I disagree with Grk on is the fact that the guy isn't doing anything wrong. He's told you he doesn't want a relationship so it's not like he's leading you on. You're the one that's being dumb by staying with this guy.

And honestly, my girl has ALWAYS had an orgasm when we have sex. I won't let myself get off until she's gotten off. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable to both people.

Move on.

[Spring Haze]

I called him, and it was nothing short of disasterous. He started yelling at me for no reason. Saying that he doesn't deal with "bullshit like yours where you only respond with 'ok, yes, no.'" I said I don't deal with bullshit like his where he doesn't get me off, but gets himself off.

Obviously, it's over. Yet I feel like shit.

[Kromat]

I've been dating this guy for two months now, and I really like him, but I'm thinking of calling it quits.
When we have sex, he's always the one to get off and I never am.
I feel like getting things done around the house is more important than I am.
Friday now, and still no answer.
His behavior toward me is really starting to get me down.
Should I tell him it's over or am I being hypersensitive?

Women made men be this way, because he's able to control every situation and not be threatened.
Relationships should be casual and not let one person dominate every situation that is put in from of them.
What were the reasons that intrigued you about his personality.
The guy can come up with ideas to go, but his partner should have some words in what you both will enjoy.
We're all so picky and controlling in who we date, that it's hard to even get to know a person properly without having a checklist.
For my instance, I''ve been always worried about my weight, and had a craving for food, so i got pretty big and it affected how I saw myself around Girls that I didn't want to approach them and make fool of myself, because i thought about how I looked instead of how I treat them or how I would connect.
I hate most body builders, because they think they are god's gift to women because of how much muscle they've and try to flant it.
I don't worry about my looks as much and just treat them equally.

Stop going after all these players, If it bothers you, know when to draw the line, and end it.

[GrkScorp]

Obviously, it's over. Yet I feel like shit.

The only reason you feel like sh*t.., is because:

1. You miss the sex that you will have to temporarily deal without..

(Which really.., when you think about it.., is it THAT much of a loss to you?)

2. You miss the companionship or potential of a long-term relationship that you feel you gave up..

(Really.., you didn't.., that's exactly why things are over)

It's almost funny that you feel this way really.., I know it's hard to break things off.., but the irony is.., you're actually better off now that you broke things off with him..

Do you have any idea how many other guys there are out there better than him.., guys who you could be with? When you start to think about it.., you almost wonder how you can allow yourself to feel this way..

I think we can all say.., that you did the right thing.., the only loser here.., is him..

Best,

GrkScorp

[lastwish]

Do online dating. Then, you will see just how many guys are out there looking and working their ass off to find a partner.

He sounds like a loser. Drop him, don't try to contact him because he isn't worth anything you have to offer.

[Mish]

His behavior toward me is really starting to get me down.

Should I tell him it's over?

Yes, yes yes and YES!

What a selfish asshole!!!

How can you even be in the same room with someone like that?

[vashti]

I think you need to do a better job picking out guys to date. When they say they aren't interested in having a girlfriend, BELIEVE THEM. I don't think he did anything wrong; your expectations were unreasonable, considering he was very direct with you.

You are sad because you are mourning the loss of hope for a relationship with this guy, when what you should be doing is celebrating the fact that you are no longer being used.

[fstep]

ok you need to play hard to get a little, this guy can tell you're really really into him and he can get away with doing whatever so try turning the tables a bit if he sees you're not putting forth as much effort i think he'll work harder to keep you around

on a side note the comment about him not letting you come in because he had stuff to do may or may not have been bullshit but thats something you need to accept because he may have had important stuff to do that you shouldn't interfere with