Is it always a bad idea to have sex on a first date?

[electra]

Does that pretty much put the lid on the possibility of a relationship in the future?

[vashti]

It probably depends on the guy. I think most guys would be wary, though. They might privately be wondering if you give it up the first night to every guy you meet.

[lesa]

yea it probably depends on the girl. I think most ladies would be wary, though. They might privately be wondering if he gives it up the first night to every girl he meets.

[GrkScorp]

Does that pretty much put the lid on the possibility of a relationship in the future?

Absolutely.., when a girl has sex with a guy on the first date.., she's immediately labeled a whore & and slut in his mind.., he can't take her seriously after that point.., and there is no longer any possibility of a relationship in the future.., almost every guy in the world thinks this way.., which is why it's probably a good idea to wait at least 2 or maybe 3.., years.., before you even start thinking about sex.., and then on the 4th year.., you can start to talk about it with him.., and maybe on the 5th year.., if you're both "ready".., you can attempt to engage in such an activity which is almost lethal to any relationship..

No? Not buying it? Not in middle-school anymore? Good..

A better question to ask yourself is.., honestly.., what bearing or weight would having sex on the first date.., have on the possibility of a relationship in the future? (before you answer.., is that answer coming from any sort of logic.., or from years of "hear-say chick advice" from other girls?)

The truth is.., if the guy is ready for a relationship.., and you are the kind of girl that he could like and eventually fall in love with.., then having sex on the first date has absolutely no impact on having a relationship in the future.., seriously..

If however the guy isn't looking for a relationship.., and you wait around for months.., years even.., until you have sex.., it doesn't have any impact on him wanting to be in a relationship with you.., most likely the case.., he's some desperate loser who will actually stick around all those months or even years.., just because you're the only woman in his life who offered him the chance to have sex.., and you might end up with a guy.., who is only in a "relationship" with you.., just because he can't get sex anywhere else.., (doesn't that just make you feel all special on the inside? loved? no?)

The case that all women look at.., to draw their general opinion about relationships & sex.., is when a guy who is not interested in a relationship but just interested in sex.., meets a woman who is interested in a relationship and happens to have sex in the first couple of dates.., well.., what do you think happens? The guy got what he was looking for.., and that's the end of that.., and the woman (and her friends.., and the rest of the female population) reach the conclusion.., through chick logic of course.., AH Ha! You can't have sex "too early".., or else the same will happen to you! The guy won't take you seriously.., and there's no longer a chance of a relationship! (I hope you can see the faulty logic in that.., even if you chose to have sex at the end of the week.., or at the end of a month.., the guy would still leave afterwards.., and if you carried it on longer.., you may end up in an even worse situation.., with a desperate loser dating you.., praying day and night that you will finally give him sex.., and that when he has it.., he will stick around like a leach.., because he knows that nobody else would ever have sex with him.., your timing on how soon you have sex.., plays no role in a guy's attitude towards a relationship)

Sex.., and relationships.., are only vaguely related.., if a guy wants to be in a relationship with you.., having sex on the first date won't do anything to change that.., sex is however important in a relationship.., obviously.., and also worth noting is what can happen when you go on for let's say weeks.., or even a whole month.., or even months.., without having sex with the guy you're seeing.., (and assuming this guy is looking for a relationship.., and isn't desperate).., you just demonstrate to him.., that you are not sexually compatible.., that perhaps you don't feel sex is that important.., you may SAY you feel differently.., but your actions speak louder than your words.., so this girl he was starting to like.., all of a sudden.., is showing him that this relationship will just not work out.., it can't work out with two people who have different attitudes towards sex.., and you can end up actually compromising the possibility of a relationship in the future.. (but again.., it all depends on the guys you are interested in attracting and being in a relationship with.., desperate guys are far less stern about their needs and wants.., they're willing to put them aside in the hope that they will actually get to have them satisfied at some point in time.., be it on the first date.., or be it years down the line.., it doesn't matter.., they'll wait.., they're desperate.., "on the plus side.., they're like pets.., you can make them do almost anything you want.., that's something else you might want to consider".., but guys that aren't desperate and are looking for a relationship for the right reasons.., a "real" relationship.., are not afraid to consider their needs and wants as a man.., that's normal.., and if they feel that you're not the type of girl to satisfy them throughout the relationship.., if they feel that you have the wrong attitude towards sex.., they don't care about how it's your mother's fault or your girlfriend's fault or Cosmo's fault for feeding you crap and wrong advice all these years.., you're no longer seen as someone they can be in a relationship with)

The possibility you have for a relationship in the future.., has to do with how attracted the guy feels towards you.., how much of a connection he feels towards you (fluid communication as if the two of you understand eachother well enough and be on the same level).., chemistry (you can both emotionally stimulate eachother.., and find eachother fun.., funny.., interesting).., and compatibility (cultural.., financial.., family.., and sexual).., if any of that is off.., that's really when you can kiss the idea of a relationship in the future goodbye.., the good news is.., that's all there is to it.., if he can ask himself.., "will I be happy with her in the long-run?" and answer with a (yes).., then there's a good possibility for a relationship in the future..

Best,

GrkScorp

[GrkScorp]

when a guy who is not interested in a relationship but just interested in sex.., meets a woman who is interested in a relationship and happens to have sex in the first couple of dates.., well.., what do you think happens?

I think this is more important to look at..

What happens.., is all a matter of how perceptive you are (you.., as in the woman)

- Not looking for a relationship (or desperate):

A man who is not interested in a relationship with you (or desperate).., could honestly care less about you.., and more about just having sex.., let's call these guys.., (losers)

- Looking for a relationship:

A man who is interested in a relationship with you.., is actually very interested in everything about you.., he cares about details.., he wants to know the whole story.., sex is obviously important.., but it's just one of the many aspects to the relationship he is thinking about having with you in the future.., he wants to see if you are someone he can see himself being happy with in the long-run.., let's call these guys (BFM; bf material)

Normally.., women are very intuitive.., social-emotional geniuses.., they can see these things with a clarity and sharpness that most guys will never even begin to imagine.., but.., this powerful intuition has a knack of shutting off.., the moment they start to really like the guy.., once they start to like the guy.., everything is "excused".., things are all of a sudden "overlooked".., flaws start to look "cute" and only add to the attraction.., a woman's most powerful emotional safeguard is rendered useless..

The difference between the two guys though.., is really simple.. so simple.., that it's going to shock you.., are you ready? "Questions".., yeah.., that's right.., questions.., that's the difference between a loser and BFM.., questions..

A loser just cares about getting into your pants.., or any woman's pants.., they just want to do what they have to.., to "win you over".., and have sex.., that's it.., and because that's it.., they could honestly care less about you.., they're not interested in a relationship with you.., they just want sex.., so what you won't hear from these guys.., is really deep and personal questions.., really thoughtful and curious questions.., questions that explore who you really are.., "why" you are who you are.., you past.., your future.., basically everything about you.., doesn't really matter to a loser.., you might get some flattery.., you might get some favors.., you might even get some free stuff.., in an effort to do what he must.., to win you over.., so he can have sex..

BFM may or may not be initially attracted to you.., but for some reason.., finds you interesting.., to the point.., where he is toying with the idea in his mind.., or a relationship with you.., and so.., his curiosity has an orgasm.., it wants to know.., everything there is to know.., about you.., the person he might have to be in a long-term relationship with.., he wants to know if he will be happy with someone like you in the long-run.., and what you're going to start to hear.., is some very personal questions.., very deep.., really digging into who you are.., why you are who you are.., basically everything about you.., he wants to know.., and if there's anything he finds out that he doesn't like.., he'll feel less attracted to you.., if there's anything he finds out that he does like.., he'll feel more attracted to you.., but rest assured.., that he'll keep digging.., until he's completely satisfied with a (yes or no) answer to his question of.., "is this a girl I can see myself being happy with in the long-run?"..

It boils down to that one simple thing.., "questions".., if he's not asking meaningful questions about you to get to know the real you.., then he's not interested in being in a relationship with the real you.., he's just interested in being in bed with the external you..

So.., next time (or this time).., before you turn that intuition of yours off.., before you hit its snooze button.., make sure you have someone on the lookout up on a little lookout-post or something.., listening to see.., "what questions is this guy asking me?".., "is he trying to win me over.., or is he testing to see if i'm someone he can see himself with in the future?"

Best,

GrkScorp

[NeoSeminole]

in my case, it would probably be a good thing to have sex on the first date. At least it would save me time finding out if we are compatible in bed. I want to find a girl I can put it in without sex hurting all the time.

[1averagejoe]

I want to find a girl I can put it in without sex hurting all the time.

Well, that rules out steroids...lol, just kidding

[bohemiandonut]

Short answer: The guy will definitely wonder how many times you've been around the block and with what frequency. He will probably be turned off. Best to wait a while. Or let him get real close and then back out. Or keep bringing it up but then never actually dish out the pudding. But slowly, gradually, ease your way into actually putting your mouth on him. BAM he's hooked.

[GrkScorp]

Well, that rules out steroids...lol, just kidding

That's mean.., Neo doesn't use steroids..

[1averagejoe]

That's mean.., Neo doesn't use steroids..

That's what I meant...

[misombra]

the only way i'd have sex on the first date is if i was a prostitute. then i would charge.

so i guess i'd say no, it's not a bad idea to have sex on the first date, just make sure to charge.

[GrkScorp]

the only way i'd have sex on the first date is if i was a prostitute. then i would charge.

so i guess i'd say no, it's not a bad idea to have sex on the first date, just make sure to charge.

Hmm.., I would say.., overall.., that wasn't a bad attempt to try and say.., more or less.., indirectly.., that.., "if you have sex on the first date.., you're a slut"

Installing Social Pressure: 7/10
Installing Guilt & Negative Self-Identity: 9/10
Justification & Evidence: 0/10

So.., what I want to know is.., why do you feel so uncomfortable with the idea of sex on the first date? Is there an actual reason.., some justification.., or is it just social pressure and/or guilt?

Best,

GrkScorp

[vashti]

disease control.

[GrkScorp]

disease control.

Might as well not have sex all together then..

You're no more at risk on the first date than you are at the end of the 10th year..

Next..

[vashti]

You are assuming everyone makes it ten years, which is far from the truth. Instead, you end up with countless first (and last) dates, and obviously the more frequently you do this, the more likely you are to contract something, which then gets spread to the next first (and last) date.