My First Love Just Broke Up With Me

[Andrew_11]

I just finished my freshman year of college. I knew the girl who would be my girlfriend had a crush on me, but was hesitant to get involved because she was still in love with her ex. Well we ended hooking up one night and talked about our feelings for each other. I explained to her that i had feelings for her but just thought the timing would be bad for a relationship. About a week later we went away on spring break (we live in different states). She must of called me everyday, and when we got back to school things started to heat up between us. I knew she still had feelings for her ex, but she insisted she knew it would never work with him, and she only wanted to be with me. I explained that I felt things would work out under different circumstances, but i didn't want to just be a rebound guy. She insisted it wasn't like that, and we started dating. I fell in love with her, and she said she was in love with me, and her feelings seemed so real, I could just tell I made her so happy. Summer came, and I wanted to stay together, but didn't know if it would work because of the distance. She insisted everything would be okay, she loved me, it would work out. Well yesterday she told me she thought we should "cool things down". I realized there was more to the story than, and got her to admit that she had feelings for someone else (not her ex). She said she didn't think it would get serious with him, and she hopes things might work out between us back at school. Now, I know her, and know she believes that, but she doesn't realize how much she hurt me. I tried to explain that i cold never be with her after this and she said i was too pessimistic. and did she ever love me as much as she said she did? Was I just a rebound? I'm so hurt. Sorry this is so long, guess I just needed to vent. Any advice would be helpful. I suppose i should also mention we were good friends before the relationship, And I haven't seen her in a month and a half.

[tooxshort]

Don't press for a relationship with her. She's still trying to figure out the type of person she wants to be with. The timing is just bad and you're still relatively young. You just finished your first year of college, so you have plenty of time to play the field.

I don't think you should fall victim to being the rebound TWICE. It already sounds like you were originally a rebound, now she likes someone else and she's using you as something to fall back on.

Move along and get yourself out of her love life ... You can be friends with her if you please, but move on and find someone else for yourself ...

[Andrew_11]

ya, i know that your right, it just hurts to feel like she didn't truly mean the things she said to me. I was just there cause I made her feel better, which i don't regret, It still feels good to know I helped someone in a hard time. But it just feels like like the way she felt about me was just a way of coping, not real feelings for me. I just feel used. But I guess thats life.

[Cain]

Don't get back with her. She's definitely not in touch with her emotions. She can't have romantic feelings for multiple people, and so you were doomed from the start. Until she can figure out how to control her emotions, she's not going to get far in any relationship.

[vashti]

ya, i know that your right, it just hurts to feel like she didn't truly mean the things she said to me.

She probably meant them when she said them, but feelings (and needs) change a lot at your age.

[JarrodHalsey]

Well it definitely possible to have romantic feelings, but its just incredibly selfish. And keep the "safety net" aspect in mind. This girl is trouble. She clearly needs constant male attention and you deserve better than someone who won't accept it from just one person.