Do you consider that Cheating?

[clearskies]

If you discovered that your man was watching porn websites by chance and specially a site of these that charge an awful lot of money per minute, do you consider that a cheating? What if he told you himself what he did only because unexpectedly it was not a free website but it charged him something like 150£ in an hour and it will appear on your monthly phone bill which is sent normally to your address? What will you do in this situation?

[Cain]

I'm glad you posted this thread because I was going to post something relating to porn in relationships as a debate thread.

Porn isn't cheating as long as it's controlled in my opinion. If a person in a relationship looks at porn every now and then and it doesn't detract from normal sexual activities with his/her partner, then there's nothing wrong with it. As long as it avoids addiction. Some people claim that any lustful thought is cheating so porn obviously has to as well. If that's the case, every person on this Earth will cheat. Lust is a part of humanity.

If a person is addicted to porn and is withdrawing from sexual activity because they would rather masturbate, then something is wrong. They need psychological help and I would consider that cheating.

Take my situation. I'm in a long distance relationship. I can only be sexually active with my gf 3-6 days a month. Watching porn wouldn't be cheating. It's a method of taking care of my needs while she can't be around. When we're together, I never look at porn. I have no reason to.

Now, about your question. Any time someone looks at porn and is spending the money that you both work for to do it, though it isn't cheating, it's entirely disrespectful and wrong. A discussion definitely needs to happen because that is just plain stupid. However, if he is addicted, which he might be since he's paying $150/hr, then that would be cheating. He'd be cheating the woman he's with out of a sexual relationship.

[Steve2004]

holy sh*t. isn't that like..300 bucks? i'd be mad if that were going to my phone bill. i suppose he isn't cheating..but i'm sure there are PLENTY of free sites on the web.

[Cain]

holy sh*t. isn't that like..300 bucks? i'd be mad if that were going to my phone bill. i suppose he isn't cheating..but i'm sure there are PLENTY of free sites on the web.

There's free streaming video porn sites. There's absolutely no reason to be paying $150/hr for porn. That's why it amazes me those damn phone operators can stay in business.... $3/minute my damn ass.

[FoxyLaydee]

I'd be pissed that he spent that much on porn!

[clearskies]

Actually, that was a couple of years ago when I was married but I cant forget it until now that my ex did that. He ws not aware the connection was charged at this high rate and he thought it was free. And as he was sure I will check our phone bill, he told me about it. I remember it was 150 pounds which is 300 $, as Steve2004 mentioned, for an hour.
What would you say about chatting/flirting with girls you do not know online while in a relationship or marriage? He used to do that too, sometimes as fun infront of me.

[Cain]

Uh... for some reason I don't buy that it was an accident. I'm sorry, but from what I know, every website that puts something on your phone bill requires that you actually use a program to dial out to access it. What the hell did he think was going to happen? If he didn't know, you married an absolute moron.

[clearskies]

- What wd you say about a man who wished to have sex in the bushes/forest with his wife, after more than 4 years of marriage?
- Also, during the honeymoon he took her to sex shops and showed her (male) gay magazines!!! although that was real disgust to both of them?

[Cain]

Firstly, I have no desire to see men sucking each other off, so I wouldn't look at it even if my intention was to make fun of it.

Secondly, you're asking the wrong person. I'm turned on by having sex in places where there is a risk of getting caught. Plus, if my gf and I are on a hike and we get in the mood, I don't want fear of doing it in the woods stop us.

[clearskies]

What about calling your ex gf who got married to another man?
- We tried making it up for the sake of our kid and thought of getting back together but it did not work out anyway. During that short period of time, he once wanted to call his ex gf who got married since a couple of months and dumped him as he said. He really insisted on giving her a call and even visiting her & her hubby (who he didi not know for sure) as a couple!! I refused doing that so I do not put this married woman in a bad situation with her hubby.
My ex was surprised why she did not answer him when he called her before after she got married!!.
Later on, I rang her and I was surprised when she told me that my ex is her friend and that he is very good man. Isnt that a bit strange?

[Cain]

Some ex's remain friends. If he called too often or tried to be friendly, then that'd be strange.