The after math of a break up for me.

[Darkest Heaven]

Well, just had another relationship fail, this one wasn't bad at all. We spent a boatload of time together, talked all the time, had fun, little to no fights, etc etc. But, she was moving into her own apt, and things went to hell. She started avoiding me, and to make it short I informed her I need somebody with their life in order, not somebody broken that is easily controlled (I felt like I was controlling her, I don't want that.) There's more to the story, trust me, but this isn't about that, it's about the after math.

The after math. Well, it hurts. If you think somebody is the one, and you create all of these memories with them, it's so hard to just say "yeah, I'll never see that smile because of me doing ___".... It's hard, it sucks.

But the strangest thing is, no matter how many times this happened, I still want the same thing. Love that is true, honest, and loyal. My problem now is I'm not sure how long it takes me to move on, last one took 4 months, and I only realized it because I talked to many new girls, and lashed out against them for no reason. Then, I was over it, and found this recent one.

So I guess trial and error begins now, some emotional healing, and hopefully this is my last post about something like this. I want to just stop and give up, but I know there is one person out there who needs to be made emotionally happy by me, and I'm going to keep looking for her sake, and for mine.

[Darkest Heaven]

It's 12:42, I'm about to go into a 12 hour shift in 30 minutes here, but before I left I wanted to add some more.


This past relationship has opened my eyes, just as the others have. It showed me that there is a person out there who is themselves, who is good enough as they are, and who I can be with happily with no arguments. This girl was not that person, but she was hope. Hope sent from an unknown beyond into my life to show me that it is possible.

We split for many reasons, some of them was 100% me, some 100% her, some 50/50, but in the end, they were trials. Could we get through them, and how many? We got through a bunch, but in the end, her "I love you" meant nothing, and neither did mine.

But that's okay, because when I find THE girl, "I love you" will be three words, but the actions, the things we do and show to one another, that will be the future.

[Cain]

Firstly, you need to realize that you're never going to be in a relationship that is absent of arguments. It won't happen. It's how you HANDLE those arguments that determines the level of compatibility.

[starbuck]

Firstly, you need to realize that you're never going to be in a relationship that is absent of arguments. It won't happen. It's how you HANDLE those arguments that determines the level of compatibility.

With lots of makeup sex.