Bit of a problem?

[Rawrr]

Ok I've read threads like forgetting gf's past and things, but none of them really helped me. My gf and I have been dating for a year and half as of yesterday.

What bothers me is I hate everything about her past and I try and try adn try to not think about me it I cant help it just makes me so mad that i want to tear everybody else apart until theres no one else left but me and her. I hate that I wasnt her first kiss even though I will be her last (we are getting married), I hate that shes been certain places without me, I hate when she goes places and does stuff without me, I hate everything that doesnt involve me being with her, which is basically her entire life before our year and half.

I dont know what to do about it because I cant just understand any of it and I know that it's not really her fault but it just makes me so mad and upset at the same time and I dont want to hurt her. I really need some advice before I make her cry again

[anachronistic]

Get over it. It is a good thing that she has been with other people before you... that way you don't have to put up with any crap. You have no right to be angry about her past.

You have only been dating for a year and a half, and you are thinking about getting married? No, don't even go there yet. Don't expect a relationship to end in marriage, because chances are very slim. How old are you anyway?

[Yacker]

Ok first of all you need to figure out why you hate to know information that doesn't have to do with you and her. Is it because you need to have control of what she might be doing? Sounds like you might be a little insecure with what you have going on.

Maybe you feel you are putting all your happiness eggs in her basket and if she trips and falls when you are not around then what? This may be getting you angry as you don't want it all to just go away, especially if she trips. Do I seem like I am heading in the right direction here? I don't know that last analogy was kind of crappy.

[Charlie Boy II]

Rawr I'd take yourself off to the shrink.

[IndiReloaded]

Get a life of your own so you aren't so attached to hers.

Getting married does NOT mean you two are connected at the hip. In fact, that path is one of the surest to divorce. Marriage means you two expand each others experiences, not become an island of 'you & her'. If you aren't as sociable as she is, you need to deal with that. Its not her problem, its yours.

[Rawrr]

I know I sound childish its not just with her though its with all my girlfriends ive had before to; i dont know whats wrong with me. Others I asked told me to break up with her, and basically the same replies you gave me, nothings helped. Its not her fault I know and I have no right to be mad at her, but i cant help it i just hate everything. Maybe that is my problem - i hate everything.

[Cain]

I don't suppose thinking about all the guy's she's boned before you helps?

[aves85]

Stop wasting your energy being pissed off over something you can't control. Let me warn you, your behavior will drive her away and end your relationship, and don't even think about marriage until you get over this issue you have.

[miSSleepy]

You sound obsessive and psychotic! Be careful she doesn't get the same impression.
I don't know if you can have a healthy relationship if you have everything she has done/seen/been that didn't involve you, because that's indicative of other problems too ... like clinginess, control, etc, maybe even violence.

Every time you get this feeling, maybe you can start thinking about YOUR prior life and the things you did without her.

[mallam22]

I can understand what you are going through because there was a point in time I had those same exact worries. It is very unhealthy to worry about things that you can not change and for a relationship to work you have to give one another space to breath. I can understand that you love her and want everything to be special and perfect in the relationship. But you have to realize that your behavior is not helping the relationship grow it is hindering it. It's like taking one step forward and two steps back. If you continue down the same path your likely going to lose her. You have to ask yourself.. what is more important.. the past or the now?

[damn2008]

Rawrr, you have to get by it and get over it, especially if it's things like "her first kiss, her first sex, etc. etc."...yaddayadda. I had the same issue with my ex because I had a problem with an issue with her past that is MUCH worst than anything you mentioned. It did turn out to be an unhealthy aspect of our relationship and was a big issue for a long time but I managed to get over it (though it still lingered at the end a little bit).

Maybe you all need to slow down before marriage, especially if you're uncomfortable with her past. Get over your insecurities, you just have to do it.