I'm with a bit of a problem here... How to make people call you?

[Arrow]

Instead of having to call people to go out?

In recent times I've gone from having zero social life to a half-decent schedule, though I still find myself asking people to go out with them instead of being asked. It's quite obvious that newly gained friends won't just treat me like brothers but the whole point of the thread is to make them treat me like that.

Well some are quite nice to me despite me being new to the circle... But there's still ice to be broken!

[Illusional]

you have to make yourself social to the point where people want to spend time with you. in other words, be the life of the party.

raverboy

[Off2College]

yeah but the question is how

[boobaa]

If you are not the type of being at the centre, don't be. Be who you are, just don't try to be something. Also, speak your mind when you have something to say, if you speak your mind, people will have respect for you.

[ecojeanne]

speaking your mind in theory should be ok, however in reality it can be a bad idea especially if you don't know people that well. i would think going with the flow and why don't you add your own activity that you plan to do in conversation (i e something you would like to do) and that will hopefully encourage them to want to do something you suggested. you're not actually outright asking them, just talk about how excited and how much fun it will be and then pause talking about it, if they do get excited and suggest how much fun it sounds, then say 'come along', then you're in the circle. it's not an instant acceptance when meeting new people, it takes time, you need patience

[electricity]

It's different for each group of people. Sometimes a particular "clique" you're trying to join is more wary of inviting new people, so you're just going to have to keep asking to hang out until they feel comfortable with you and add you to their list. Other times groups welcome additions, in which case you should be added fairly quickly. The main thing is that at the beginning, you should almost never reject invitations to hang out, and when you do leave an event, be sure to tell the organizer "this was fun, invite me again next time" or something of the sort. At the end of an event you suggested, be sure to mention "we should do this again sometime." The more you make yourself available, the more people will be likely to invite you.

[snoz]

There's nothing wrong with asking people to hang out. My advice is not to mix that up with hanging out for the sake of hanging out. If you generally like the group you're with now then all's good but idk, perhaps I get the feeling you just want to belong.

edit- also welcome back, must've missed it while I've been playing WoW lol (nerd)

[georgehutton]

There are two ways to make friends. The most common way is be stuck in similar circumstances with people, and eventually people with commonalities will find each other. This takes times, and people do it without thinking.

The other way is just as good, and can develop just as strong bonds between people, but you have to do it conscioulsy, or you have to actually engineer the friendship. The way to do that, is every interaction, you have to give give give, and just focus on how to make yourself a positive addition to the event or party. I'm not saying don't be yourself, but focus on contributing a little bit, and realize it will take some time. The people that willl turn into good friends will naturally start to take a liking to you. Be patient. Let it happen, don't make it happen.