My female housemate hates me

[Tony21]

Hi, I am new here but I would appreciate some help,

My house mate and I have been close friends ever since we first met, and have always got on very well, but lately she seems very frustrated by my presence, we can speak to one another, but she is physically trembling whenever I am near her, I tried giving her some space but this is a little hard when you share a house, also we have a lot of friends in common.

she sent me an email to say she was worried about me, and that we shouldn't be living as ghosts to each other. We have discussed it and neither of us understand, She means the world to me and I realy don't want us to grow apart, does anyone have any ideas on what could be going on here, or if there is anything I can do to try to work on this.

Thank you in advance -Tony

p.s. do you think it is something I am doing or is it something with her.

[ecojeanne]

there has to be more to this story- spill

[Illusional]

kick her out and the problem is solved.

raverboy

[Tony21]

Thanks for the quick reply and you are right.

my former housemate, suggested the house we live in, as there was a free room available, after some time, my former housemate finished studying and moved on and he is now living in France,

we spent a lot of time together and grew to like each other.

I visited my family, and she came with me, and it was wonderful.

my former housemate asked her to visit him,
and recently she went to visit him, before seeing her own family.


When she came back she seemed okay but finished her studies and got a job, we did some things together, but a few weeks later she became really volatile, and would hit the roof over the smallest of things, I and some of her friends became worried, I tried to speak to her but just got yelled at, eventually this passed, and she was normal again but then became almost hostile towards me, like I had done something to offend her, I asked her and she said I had done nothing wrong, eventually I got tired of this, and decided to give her the space I mentioned previously, she sent me the email I sent one back explaining why I had tried to stay away from her, we discussed everything, and things seemed okay, but now she trembles whenever I enter a room she is in, I would never intentionally hurt someone I care about, and I find the idea of my presence harming her upsetting, I don't know what is causing it, I don't know if she feels "afraid" of me or what.

Thanks again -Tony

[Tony21]

Okay I decided id answer my own post in case anyone else out there is having this problem or one similar,

it seems to be fixed, for the time being at least

I asked her out,


she said yes, we had a great time, now she is nice again, and everything is great.

I don't really want to push it too much and potentially break everything again, so what does everyone think?,

and any suggestions for a good next step?

thanks -Tony

[IndiReloaded]

She likes you. I will be large sums of money I am right about this. And she is a bit of an etard b/c she expresses herself with anger.

Take her out for a friendly coffee and discuss, if you care enough. Be prepared to listen for what she *doesn't* say, as much as what she does.

[Tony21]

Hi all, thanks, and yep Indi I think you may be right, thats exactly what I did before I made the post and its what cleared everything up.

I think there were more positives than negatives, she opened up to me which I didn't expect and shared some other things that have been bothering her, and was comfortable with me touching her, she booted me really hard under the table I couldn't tell if it was an accident or the anger thing again though lol.

Just thinking about a good next thing to do, since coffee was quite subtle, but the classic things wouldn't work very well with this girl.

Thanks -Tony