Love a girl, who's not my gf!!

[Pietomb]

Hi all,

I have the problem that I am ridiculosly attacted to a girl who is not my gf. It's not just a sexual thing I like everything about her. There is some past to this...

I dated her a few years ago, and then she ended it, since then i've asked her several times to try it again, always she said no. About 2 months ago i asked her again, as one final time before i moved on, i thought i was merely infactuated with her and therefore i would be able to forget the feelings about her after that. Of course she said no.

A month ago I found myself with a different girl, who i am still going out with now, and i care for her greatly, and love almost everything about her too.

But the first girl has told me that she was wrong in her feelings about me, and felt the same way. I've spent quite a bit of time with her, and i still find her amazing, and it's wierd because she makes it so easy for me to feel that way, and to be tempted to try something, but i know i shouldn't. My gf has told me that she gets jealouse when i go out with the other girl, but she's not got to the point of asking me not to, and she trusts me.

So i really don't know what to do?
i suppose most people would say to cut myself off from her, but i see her every day at college, and she's such a great friend.

[Bo]

you're cheating emotionally. you either cut it off with the other chick or u end it with your girl. period. these situations always get bad don't be an asshole.

[carl1222]

you're cheating emotionally. you either cut it off with the other chick or u end it with your girl. period. these situations always get bad don't be an asshole.

^^ .. yeah, what she said.

[kene]

I struggle with for whatever reason being masochistic, like the challenge of trying to get what I can't (or really shouldn't) have.

The lyrics to this song sums it up.


"Desperado"

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow

Don't you draw the queen of diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the queen of hearts is always your best bet

Now it seems to me, some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get

Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?

Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

[Lite]

I struggle with for whatever reason being masochistic, like the challenge of trying to get what I can't (or really shouldn't) have.

The lyrics to this song sums it up.

Do you dress in black, and write bad poetry?

On a serious note, if the girl respected you and your boundaries she would respect that you are currently in a committed relationship with someone. She's not respecting that, and you're not enforcing that boundary, so both of you are to blame here.

Her for being a manipulative person, and you for being spineless and weak willed.

Make a decision, and stick to it. The girl you're currently seeing probably doesn't deserve to be held in limbo.

[Bo]

very true lite.