What is up with this online chatting with other women and you have a woman?

[mimi0825]

Guys please make me understand. My man can not clear this up for me. Me and my man have been together for almost 4 years. A year ago I found out that he has been talking to other women sexually on the internet and almost 2 years ago had sex with oe of these females that he has meant over the internet. (At that point in time we were having issues because I did not feel like he was spending enough time with me - he worked two jobs. Now he is working 3.) Before I found out about this thing with the internet he proposed to me. Once I found out about the internet come to find out he had been chatting on line since he was 18. He is now 27. Is it an addiction? I would take the responsibility if I though or knew I was doing something wrong but I am not. He has a meal in between all his jobs. I allow him to sleep. I am his personal freak really in the bedroom. When I hear ice jingle in his glass I am in the kitchen refilling it. I told him if he want someone else I would leave. He do not want to let go of me or these chatlines. And all the catlines are of big women. Which there is nothing wrong with big women but if that is what he is attracted to I am the total opposite. What is left for me to do? Or what is going on? Am I missing something?

[Lite]

Well... Let's cover this bit by bit shall we?

He's apparently attracted to larger women. Nothing wrong with being a chubby chaser at all. However, apparently you're saying you don't fit this. Now, some additional questions that may sound racist, but tend to be more in line with societal thinking. Is he black? If so, were his past girlfriends large?

It sounds like one, he's just not that interested in you. He has some issues going on that make him incapable of being faithful. That's his fault, bad on him.

Now, if he's doing this pretty much behind your back (and it sounds as if he is) then he's cheating. If there were nothing to hide, and you were OK with it, then he'd be chatting w/ them openly with you, and you'd have some sort of relationship dynamic supporting this. However, you're not, and he's pretty much sneaking around behind your back with this. It's not quite like looking at porn, which is anonymous people. He's engaging in conversation with them, which means he's seeking out individuals, and not some passive media (Movies, pictures, smut stories...) to read for inspiration.

Perhaps he's unhappy because you wait on him hand and foot? Which, isn't your fault if he hasn't voiced this.

The BIGGEST question is why aren't you standing up for yourself and kicking this guy to the curb for being a creep? Seriously, there should be NO issue with you putting your foot down and saying, "OK I've had enough of this behavior and I'm not OK with it. Either you stop and I have permission to check on you since you have violated my trust with this, or we're done."

His behavior is bullshit, and it needs to end.

[lesa]

What made you decide to allow these behaviors if you not okay with them?

Is the waiting on him hand and foot something you feel is needed to keep a man? What makes you think he would be happy and faithful to you if you do those things?

[misombra]

so he went out and had sex with one of these people while you were together?

[Ms.Cruise]

ARE YOU AFRAID TO LOSE HIM ? Before I continue to post my opinion.

[Gigabitch]

Wow. Why are you so subservient to this cheating asshole?

[the_unseen_sky]

It sounds like a bad situation but I don't think it is too wierd. I think that girls are attracted to guys who are aggresive enough to approach girls I think its in a guys best interest to continue to approach and attempt to have sex with girls until he feels he is no longer able to do so or that he would risk too much to do so, I think that would be love or kids maybe if he is very attached. I think that girls try to have a large strings of male friends and I think men try to sleep with as many women as possible. I think that I pretended that it wasn't this way and my ex abused me through these "friends" until the bitter end. I also think that most women do the whole natural thing easier than guys so I think you have actually been very unlucky. I think we need to be more accepting about what we really are if possible but I really don't think that I know too much about the subject. Personally I just think your out of your depth, do you have many male friends? I think if your started going out for drinks or inviting male friends around I think that should sober him up. I think the more the men dote on you the better so I think if you can get them to fancy you but obviously you don't fancy them I think you could swing the win back in your favour.