Ok, I went her number. Need some help on what to do [One week until I see her to ask]

[Cain]

She gave you the number, so it obviously went well.

Also, group dates are a great way to make her not feel uncomfortable. How old are the both of you? You can always set up a double date. It's a group, but the premise is a date since the other two involved will be a couple as well.

The friend zone happens when you don't make it clear that you're interested in being more than friends. You could go out with a group all of the time and make it known that you're interested. In fact, going with a group of friends will likely make you appear more attractive to her since she'll see you as outgoing and popular. Being the "lead dog" of your friends will magnify that attraction.

[thechampanon]

I am 16. She is 17.

She doesn't know I am 16. She may think I am 17.

But also, would going iceskating, just me and her, still be a good idea?

Edit: Also, if the point of group/double date is to make her more comfortable, it may not work out, because we go to different schools. Therefore, we really lack any mutual friends. And, what are some other great date ideas? I want to do something that would be really fun, and new. Unique. I don't have much in my town which is a problem but since she may live in the city (idk) I could look up things going on in the metro as well.

[Everlovin]

Well I think I'm going to chew the fat for just a little bit when I call her, then ask for the date. I know I am going to ask her out. If I don't then what is the point?

The point is getting to know her and building attraction by showing her that your a good conversationalist. Plus you should want to show her that your just a little different than other guys. Other guys get her number than ask her out right away then expect to have sex with her by the first, second or third date. She will be expecting you to ask her out. When you don't she may even chase you.

I just offered my above mentioned advice because your coming across as a bit unsure of yourself and I think its because your putting more pressure on yourself than need be.

And Zehx, I think group date is the perfect example of how to get friendzoned..

Am I right here?

Yes, save group dates until after you've fuked her.

[carl1222]

I totally agree with your assessment on the group date thing. Don't do it. You are already "group dating" with your soccer activities, and it's soooo high school (I know you're in high school, but you want to stand out).

If I can add a few suggestions ....

Don't do the traditional movie thing. You can't have a good one on one conversation there without getting thrown out.

Dinner is better, but unimaginitive.

Think out of the box, it will get you major points for creativity. The best bonding dates are ones which require cooperation or even a little bit of mild competition, as long as you're careful not to take the competition too seriously. Another is one where there is a perceived (but safe) thrill.

Possible first dates:

Putt-putt or miniature golf.
Bowling (kind of corny for a first date, but it's really good)
rock climbing (why not? you're both athletic!)
go carts
amusement parks

If these are out of season for your location, the first 3 can be done indoors.

Carl.

[TheGreek]

Well, obviously, getting her number is a good thing. And the pat on the back is a clear IOI. What I would do is call her on Monday or Tuesday, keep it short and sweet. Give yourself a false time constraint so that you don't keep the conversation going on too long. After y'all set a date up earlier in the week, call her the day before to confirm the date. Again, use a false time constraint and keep the conversation short. You want to be able to have plenty of conversation on the date. So if you're going out with her on Friday, give her a call sometime on Thursday to confirm.

[Mish]

Yeah, but back to what I was asking, what should I say when I text her, and when I call her?

Openings

'Hey, I know a nice place with great hot chocolate, let's meet there and talk a bit more.'

I always try to avoid talking on the phone with a girl for more than 2 minutes. I find it too infuriating.

[Zehx]

Well I think I'm going to chew the fat for just a little bit when I call her, then ask for the date. I know I am going to ask her out. If I don't then what is the point?

And also, I won't talk much with the texting. Just a little bit of flirting for the night. I'll be sure to end it quick, and at a convenient time.

And Zehx, I think group date is the perfect example of how to get friendzoned..

Am I right here?

Edit: Also, did her response, and what happened; did it seem like it went well?

From personal experience, beginning the small talk with texts is a great way to spark curiosity within each other and not go overboard by talking on the phone right away and facing some awkward pause that may diminish your chances with her. Same goes for the group date, you said you knew one of her friends sounds like a good opportunity to get together with people and then you dont have to hold conversation burden alone. However it depends on how old you are, girls do act differently depending on maturity. I would say that your initial contact went excellent it sounded like she knew you well and was at most if not more mutually interested. How well do you know her?

[thechampanon]

From personal experience, beginning the small talk with texts is a great way to spark curiosity within each other and not go overboard by talking on the phone right away and facing some awkward pause that may diminish your chances with her. Same goes for the group date, you said you knew one of her friends sounds like a good opportunity to get together with people and then you dont have to hold conversation burden alone. However it depends on how old you are, girls do act differently depending on maturity. I would say that your initial contact went excellent it sounded like she knew you well and was at most if not more mutually interested. How well do you know her?

Not at all.

I know her first and last name, that she plays soccer, her age, and that is it. We should have plenty to talk about.

And carl, the rockclimbing idea... that sounds pretty cool. I'll give that some thought!

So, tomorrow I'll text a bit. False time constraint. Tuesday=nothing. (Leave her wanting more sort of?) Wednesday I would call her to ask to go to do w/e I decide on, and Thursday is confirmation.

Thanks guys.

I'll keep you updated, and if I didn't respond to anyone's suggestions, I didn't ignore them. I thoroughly read everyones.

[carl1222]

Not at all.

I know her first and last name, that she plays soccer, her age, and that is it. We should have plenty to talk about.

And carl, the rockclimbing idea... that sounds pretty cool. I'll give that some thought!

So, tomorrow I'll text a bit. False time constraint. Tuesday=nothing. (Leave her wanting more sort of?) Wednesday I would call her to ask to go to do w/e I decide on, and Thursday is confirmation.

Thanks guys.

I'll keep you updated, and if I didn't respond to anyone's suggestions, I didn't ignore them. I thoroughly read everyones.

Yeah, I thought that one would appeal to you ... and to her as well.

It has all the elements of bonding for an athletic couple:

1) It's a shared, even cooperative, activity, with;
2) A perceived (although untrue) sense of shared danger.

The adrenaline will do the rest!
Carl

[thechampanon]

I think that I should do iceskating for the first date though. Something more mild.

And rock climbing on the second date if I can get the first date and it goes well.

Thanks. I'm definitely keeping that in my head.

That is such a good idea! haha I wouldn't have ever thought of that.

[TheGreek]

I'm just thinking that calling on Wednesday for a Friday date is too short of notice. She may have made plans by then.

And what I meant by false time constraint is that "oh I can't talk for long i'm doing....., just wanted to confirm our plans for tomorrow...." That's all. Just use an excuse so that you don't talk for too long.

[thechampanon]

I'm just thinking that calling on Wednesday for a Friday date is too short of notice. She may have made plans by then.

And what I meant by false time constraint is that "oh I can't talk for long i'm doing....., just wanted to confirm our plans for tomorrow...." That's all. Just use an excuse so that you don't talk for too long.

Alright.

But is texting her Monday, and date on Tuesday then too fast?

Also, if I call for the date on Wednesday, and she is busy, if she has interest she would try to find another time. That is how I look at it. I'd know if she had interest or not still.

[Cain]

The point is getting to know her and building attraction by showing her that your a good conversationalist. Plus you should want to show her that your just a little different than other guys. Other guys get her number than ask her out right away then expect to have sex with her by the first, second or third date. She will be expecting you to ask her out. When you don't she may even chase you.

He's asked for her phone number and already telegraphed interest. He's already lost the chase. A little bit of conversation is fine, but talking too much on the phone before the date will most likely ruin it.

Yes, save group dates until after you've fuked her.

And that's just stupid. I don't think you quite understand the power of a good group date.

[carl1222]

Alright.

But is texting her Monday, and date on Tuesday then too fast?

Also, if I call for the date on Wednesday, and she is busy, if she has interest she would try to find another time. That is how I look at it. I'd know if she had interest or not still.

No, Greek is right. There are stupid "self-help" dating books for girls that say "never accept a date on less than three days' notice. In case she's read them, call Tuesday instead.

Don't be silly ... you already know she has interest!

Carl.

[Cain]

Well, obviously, getting her number is a good thing. And the pat on the back is a clear IOI. What I would do is call her on Monday or Tuesday, keep it short and sweet. Give yourself a false time constraint so that you don't keep the conversation going on too long. After y'all set a date up earlier in the week, call her the day before to confirm the date. Again, use a false time constraint and keep the conversation short. You want to be able to have plenty of conversation on the date. So if you're going out with her on Friday, give her a call sometime on Thursday to confirm.

I read The Game too.