Question about Jealousy

[nd_guy]

Ok... so I know a certain amount of jealousy is healthy for a relationship but I want to make sure that I'm not going overboard.

My g/f and I have been dating for about 6 months now - its a LDR that I think works pretty well - we talk every day several times a day and I see her every weekend (and whenever I can during the week - I'm trying to relocate so I've been taking time off to find a job/apt where she lives). We've got great communication (and getting better - part of this is about that) and lots of passion in our relationship.

She's very open about the people she talks to but some of it bothers me. She has an ex who she only dated for a very short time but they remained good friends afterwards. She said it just didn't work out and that they would rather stay friends - which I agree with and understand. She asked if I would be ok with her going out with a few of her g/f's and him (they all work together) - I was honest and told her yes and explained why I felt somewhat threatened. I dont know him (he is gone alot for work ect), he's very successful (MD), and he gets to travel alot which is something we both want to do very much. It's not that I dont trust them - but it just would make me very uncomfortable.

Am I being to overboard? Or is this pretty normal?

She did see my point (or so i was told) and she agree'd she would not do it as it would bother me. But I dont want to be the "controlling" guy who is just a jealous b/f.

[Gigabitch]

Maybe you just need to hear exactly WHY it didn't work out. For instance, my husband has this "friend" that he used to sleep with a long time ago. She's gorgeous and glamorous, successful and, worst of all, still has feelings for him. I found her really threatening until he told me that she just didn't smell right to him. Not that she was stinky, just that their chemistry wasn't right. For some reason, those were the magic words. I am not at all threatened by her any more.

If you just ask your gf to help you out with this, not in a confrontational or defensive way, maybe she can tell you some magic words too.

[nd_guy]

She said they both agreed that it was just awkward and no feelings romantically for either of them. I think a lot of my problem is that I haven't met him yet. I don't think there are any feelings for him on her part but I just dont know him or how he is I guess.

[vashti]

Maybe you should tell her you'd be okay with it if you got to know him better.... She should try including you a few times before going out with him sans you - you may get to see first hand why she doesn't like him that way. Lots of doctors lack people skills.