I've always wondered...

[Cain]

This has been something that has always made me wonder. I see such a split opinion on this that I'm curious how some of you feel about it. So, feel free to answer and be a little specific on your reasons.

If someone that you were interested in chose another person over you and then they broke up, would you still try to get with them? Or would you consider that they had their chance, blew it, and that you aren't a second place prize?

Everyone feels that they should be their partner's first choice, but in reality aren't we all second place prizes? For the women on here, early on do you think that your partner would have chose you if a famous celebrity woman had been wanting him? Likewise for the men?

How do you all feel about it? Would you step away from that person entirely or would you still give it a shot? Would it always be in the back of your mind?

[misombra]

for me it would depend on how well that person knew me. if i was close with that person and they chose someone else over me that would probably be it.

if we didn't know each other very well and were acquaintances then i might give it a chance.

[BigQid]

If I still want somebody, I'm going to take my shot. Most things don't last anyway.

[Illusional]

speaking of shooting, i'd shoot all over the both of them and then shoot myself in the head.

raverboy

[Cain]

Assume that you hadn't known them very long... less than two months. Maybe even a month. That's where the ultimate issue is. If it was that you had known them for years, then I think saying no in the future is acceptable.

But is it alright to be second place if only after a month of knowing them? Or is it okay for your pride to make you want to say **** that?

[tooxshort]

If they chose someone else OVER me, then I'd have to say she had her chance, but went the wrong route ... I'd rather find a girl with better judgment off the bat, you know what I mean?

I think I should be the celebrity when I'm getting at a girl ... if you get the chance to be with someone, then the celebrity status shouldn't matter beyond boning ...

[Cbrider]

To be honest, there are a lot of factors that would play a part in it if it were MY decision.

What if you hadn't been on your best behavior and it caused them to turn away from you because of how you showed yourself to them. They come back around and you have your ducks in a row which makes you look attractive.....theres one possible question.

[Cain]

To be honest, there are a lot of factors that would play a part in it if it were MY decision.

What if you hadn't been on your best behavior and it caused them to turn away from you because of how you showed yourself to them. They come back around and you have your ducks in a row which makes you look attractive.....theres one possible question.

And that's a good thought. What if the other person just had a better first impression?

Come on... more people need to respond to this.

[lesa]

If we didn't know each other and I saw he asked another woman out but it obviously did not work out for the first date or two (or he immediately got declined) I would probably still be interested. If he dated her longer than that and then came to me, I probably would not be as interested or excited to be with him.

Another thing that interests me is when people dump a person saying they are not worth their time but then this person gets in a relationship with another (who probably was dump in their past by a person that said they were not worth their time). Can't a person that's not quality material suddenly become quality material for another? Maybe they just wasn't a good match.

[Cain]

If we didn't know each other and I saw he asked another woman out but it obviously did not work out for the first date or two (or he immediately got declined) I would probably still be interested. If he dated her longer than that and then came to me, I probably would not be as interested or excited to be with him.

Another thing that interests me is when people dump a person saying they are not worth their time but then this person gets in a relationship with another (who probably was dump in their past by a person that said they were not worth their time). Can't a person that's not quality material suddenly become quality material for another? Maybe they just wasn't a good match.

Why would you lose interest after only a date or two? You would penalize him because you didn't make as good of a first impression as the other girl?

[lesa]

Why would you lose interest after only a date or two? You would penalize him because you didn't make as good of a first impression as the other girl?

I would probably have another date (interest) . I'm not going to wait for him (unless he is AMAZING and need to marry him ASAP ).

[Cain]

I would probably have another date (interest) . I'm not going to wait for him (unless he is AMAZING and need to marry him ASAP ).

I wasn't talking about waiting.

He chooses the other person... you go off and date other people. I'm talking more about what if a year later you're both single. Does your pride not let you give him a chance? Or do you not care?

[lesa]

I wasn't talking about waiting.

He chooses the other person... you go off and date other people. I'm talking more about what if a year later you're both single. Does your pride not let you give him a chance? Or do you not care?

Oh in that case, yeah, I may go out with him. I think it would be a little bittersweet (is that the word).

It's kind of like ending your high school or college relationship. Move on with life and then ten or twenty years later meet again and start a relationship. Oops really it's like knowing that guy in college but never dating him because he was taken and then he becomes single two years later. I would do it if I can really see him as my partner for life. If it's just some other semi-serious relationship then I probably would not bother. It really depends on my stage in life at the moment.

It also depends on how he treated me in the past. Did he really have an opportunity to date me and dismissed me for her or did I just appear unavailable at the time?

[Cain]

Oh in that case, yeah, I may go out with him. I think it would be a little bittersweet (is that the word).

It's kind of like ending your high school or college relationship. Move on with life and then ten or twenty years later meet again and start a relationship. Oops really it's like knowing that guy in college but never dating him because he was taken and then he becomes single two years later. I would do it if I can really see him as my partner for life. If it's just some other semi-serious relationship then I probably would not bother. It really depends on my stage in life at the moment.

It also depends on how he treated me in the past. Did he really have an opportunity to date me and dismissed me for her or did I just appear unavailable at the time?

Assume that it was equal footing. I'm trying to remove as many of the what-ifs as I can. Assume that both you and the other girl were equal distance to him. Assume that he knew you both for one month. And assume that he went on a date with both of you only a couple of times.

If he decided that he felt a better connection with her and then it didn't work out, would you be willing to give him a shot?

[lesa]

Assume that it was equal footing. I'm trying to remove as many of the what-ifs as I can. Assume that both you and the other girl were equal distance to him. Assume that he knew you both for one month. And assume that he went on a date with both of you only a couple of times.

If he decided that he felt a better connection with her and then it didn't work out, would you be willing to give him a shot?

Oh in that case, no, he's not worth my time. I was right there and apparently he thought she was the better fit for him. I'm not really willing to play that kind of game. The relationship probably would not be that great. I would really feel like leftover. [That may not be the case, but either he or I would seem desperate to me.]