Do I Have A Right To Be Feeling Like This?

[ransom_nite]

Hey guys just a little issue here.

For the members that know about my relationship in previous threads and for those who don't, I've been with my current girlfriend coming up 3 years and we are currently LD atm.

She is moving back in a few weeks and a guy she knows and almost dated back in highschool has been txting and ringing her for roughly 6 months saying when are they going to catch up and he misses them hanging out and she was so special to him etc.

Now i've been friends with her for 6 years and remember this guy, he's 23 and I'm 20 and we don't get along, for various reasons. Anywho he rang her recently when I was visiting her and said I can't wait to see you blah blahh, we have so much to catch up on and I miss what we could have had, meanwhile I was sitting right next to her and heard everything.

I told her I wasn't happy about everything he just said and them catching up and she just hopped up, walked away and said I don't want to talk about it, so I shrugged it off.

But today she rang me and said he rang her again and said the same thing and apparently her sister invited him to stay with them when she finally moves back. I again said hang on I don't feel comfortable with a guy you had a thing with and who still has feelings with you staying a few nights in your room.

This time she went crazy at me saying I don't trust her and that I'm making something out of nothing, I told her it wasn't that I didn't trust her but that I don't trust him, we don't like each other and he clearly doesn't give a rahzoo about our relationship and wouldn't mind trying to pull something funny while staying with her those few nights.

Well what I want to know is, am I being unreasonable? Or do I have a right to feel this way? I can't help but feel it's inconciderate on her behalf to not listen to how I feel about this situation.

But I must remind you I really don't like this guy and if I wasn't 5' 8" and he wasn't 6' 2" and had a brother built like Jay Cutler, I would definately have a go.

[ThatGuy]

You should trust her enough to let her talk to this guy, but him staying with her is a different thing all together. There is nothing that you can do to stop her from doing anything with this guy though.

[ransom_nite]

I don't mind her talking to him, she does a fair bit, but when I heard he could be staying with her I was like hang on? And yeahh I know I can't stop her, but she always tells me she doesn't want to see him and that there is no need for them to catch up, she needs to tell him that though.

[ThatGuy]

just calmly explain that you don't like the idea of him staying with her though you have no problems with them talking.

[doppelgaenger]

I'd feel uncomfortable too.

I have a bad feeling about this...

[Charlie Boy II]

I'm hardly ever get jealous, but even I would have a serious problem with that situation. A really serious problem.

[ransom_nite]

I'd feel uncomfortable too.

I have a bad feeling about this...

So do I Doppel

What I'll do is when he stays at her sisters, that's if he still does, I told her sister I'd like for him not too but if she goes ahead with it I'll take a day off work and get her to stay with me.

[doppelgaenger]

If your girlfriend doesn't understand how you feel about this, you should seriously consider breaking up with her. But before that you should definitely sit her down and talk to her about the situation. And I mean the entire situation with the ex, not just this slumber party, because it seems to be the root of other problems. I really feel bad saying this, knowing how important this is to you.

But if it comes down to that, well **** it. If you want to chat about it sometime, I do have MSN, just PM me for my addy.

[ransom_nite]

If your girlfriend doesn't understand how you feel about this, you should seriously consider breaking up with her. But before that you should definitely sit her down and talk to her about the situation. And I mean the entire situation with the ex, not just this slumber party, because it seems to be the root of other problems. I really feel bad saying this, knowing how important this is to you.

But if it comes down to that, well **** it. If you want to chat about it sometime, I do have MSN, just PM me for my addy.

He actually isn't an 'ex' they didn't date because he ended up moving away but still hooked up and what not. This afternoon she finally said she knows where I'm coming from and will do her best to avoid him, but I don't think it will stop him because she won't flat out tell him she doesn't want to see him.

I just know if she is there when he stays it's going to result in a massive fight which could potentially ruin our relationship and I DO NOT want that to happen.

Yeahh I'll PM you now Doppel, thankyou so much.

[Cbrider]

You may or may not get the message through to her, it depends on her level of infatuation. You need to explain why you don't like it, let her know the talking doesn't bug you but this situation does.

Make an example, come up with a girl shes knows of that has a thing for you and ask her how she would feel. Explain that she should trust you so it shouldn't be an issue, if she thinks it is then you can explain how what she is doing is exactly the same.

You have been going out for 3 years, she should have her head in the clear with you. Be confident, don't back down and don't compromise for this one, this is a relationship breaker forming imo.

You want a perfect example from both ends of the spectrum IM me.

[ransom_nite]

Make an example, come up with a girl shes knows of that has a thing for you and ask her how she would feel. Explain that she should trust you so it shouldn't be an issue, if she thinks it is then you can explain how what she is doing is exactly the same.

I did exactly this mate, and she got it, she was just being stubborn and not wanting to hear my side of the story on this one until I said that.

In fact she told the chick to back the f*** away from me or she would deal with her haha, was quite amusing

[Cbrider]

I did exactly this mate, and she got it, she was just being stubborn and not wanting to hear my side of the story on this one until I said that.

In fact she told the chick to back the f*** away from me or she would deal with her haha, was quite amusing

I somehow doubted after 3 years that your gf would be so stupid as to do something like this and not hear your concerns.

Good to hear.

[starbuck]

Glad to hear she's come to her senses, Ransom. You aren't overreacting at all and it was inconsiderate of her to turn it around on you as if you didn't trust her.

I don't know anyone who would be comfortable with their boyfriend or girlfriend being in that situation.

Honestly, if a person like this came back into my life, and my boyfriend told me he was uncomfortable with me hanging around him, I'd most likely just offer NOT to hang around the guy. My boyfriend is more important to me than some random dude from my past.

[kate_spencer]

I did exactly this mate, and she got it, she was just being stubborn and not wanting to hear my side of the story on this one until I said that.

In fact she told the chick to back the f*** away from me or she would deal with her haha, was quite amusing

Though it's a bit harsh for the girl, you just used her to make your girlfriend realize her mistakes.. though I'm happy for you that you're relationship is back to normal now.